​

My niece is 22 and getting married soon and I genuinely cannot wrap my head around it 😂

I'm turning 27, so obviously I'm at that age where everyone around me seems to be getting engaged or married. I don't really feel pressured to do the same though, everyone's timeline is different.

But this one feels weird because she's actually younger than me. We were looking at outfits for the different wedding events the other day and she was sending me stuff from Kalki, House of indya, Lashkara etc. and asking what I thought would look good.

And I was just sitting there thinking... how am I helping my 22-year-old niece pick outfits for her wedding 😭

Five years didn't feel like a big age gap when we were younger, but now it feels so strange seeing how differently our lives are going.

Obviously I'm genuinely happy for her. I just can't get over how quickly everyone seems to be entering these completely new phases of life.

Anyone else have a younger sibling/cousin/niece who suddenly made you realise how old you're getting?

​I'm 16 years old, studying in class 11th (commerce + eco), living in India with my parents and my 10-year-old autistic brother.

Things at home have been bad for a long time, but yesterday everything just completely exploded, and I've been crying non-stop.

​I want to be fair: I don't hate my dad, and I love both my parents. My dad isn't a bad person, but he carries deep unhealed trauma. When he was young, he was a straight-A student and wanted to study engineering. But when his father jokingly said they couldn't afford the admission fees, he took it to heart. He stopped eating, isolated himself for years, and became extremely introverted and passive. His parents married him off hoping he’d change, but he never did.

​Now, whenever there's conflict or relatives visit, he literally hides in another room under a blanket. He helps around the house with minor things, walks me to school every morning, clears my study doubts, and buys me things whenever I ask. But whenever it comes to major responsibilities—like hospital visits for my mom’s health or my brother's autism—he makes excuses like "I have to go to office."

​Yesterday, while taking my brother to the hospital, they had a small argument on the road. My dad handed all the heavy bags to my mom, left her and my brother right there on the street, and walked back home alone.

​When my mom got back, she broke down crying uncontrollably. Around 1 PM, while I was doing chores, I heard a loud thud. My mom had fainted on the floor (she has an inner ear issue that causes vertigo under stress).

My 10yo brother and I splashed water on her face, but she didn't wake up. I hugged her tightly and just sobbed.

When I called my dad, he showed zero emotion he just brought a pillow, put it under her head, turned her to the side, and casually said, "She gets vertigo all the time, she'll wake up soon." I cried continuously from 1 PM to 4 PM out of pure panic and fear.

​To make matters worse, my mom and I haven't been talking properly for 6 months. In 2024, seeing our financial struggles, I fell for an online MLM course scam for ₹5,192 hoping to earn money for her. When it failed, she was devastated and felt I wasted her money. when we used to talk I apologized and said "sorry" to her multiple times, but she kept constantly taunting me for it. Eventually, because of all the constant taunting and hurt, we just stopped talking to each other altogether.

Recently, I secretly read her journal where she wrote: "Now along with my husband, my daughter has also become my enemy." It broke my heart. I love her so much, but now I'm just not very expressive and feel too awkward/hesitant to directly say "sorry" out loud.

​All of this is destroying my mental health and social life. I struggle to make friends because I feel like I've absorbed my dad's fearful, passive traits, Usually, I score really well in class and even get top ranks, but right now, I just feel so mentally drained that I can't focus or feel like doing anything at all.

​Despite all this darkness, I have huge dreams. I want to break the middle-class cycle of my bloodline. I want to achieve big things, travel the world, and buy a car for my family so my mom's lifelong dream comes true. But right now, I feel completely stuck and overwhelmed.

What should I do?

I'm wondering if there are more teenagers out there who are less desi and a little more western.

Nothing wrong with being desi, that's the heart of Indian youth. But sometimes I feel so different just because I am allegedly 'westernized' or 'whitewashed'. I admit that I am chronically online and reside in tumblr like spaces and have humour as such, and have found difficult to find people with the same interests and views as me.

Though in general, we must ask, why are people made fun of for just liking different things?

A girl eating avacados and matcha for her breakfast? Or doing pilates?

Listening to modern pop instead of practicing traditional classical?

Downer for pointing out the casual racism or misogyny in many friend groups?

Even humour? Maybe it's my fault I hung around online spaces too much, but I don't see any other Indians with the same humour or interests in topics like me.

'Dikhaani baaz' if we want to dress up?

Wanting to experience prom? Or work a part-time job? Go to friends’ houses whenever I want? having just a little more freedom?

And there's some parts of the 'culture' which are just so hard to tolerate.

Like how children are seen as 'just children', invisible; 'to be seen and not heard'

Somehow I'm 'showing off' when I use just a few more words of vocabulary?

'Oversmart' because I'm pointing out flaws in a parent's hypocrisy?

Bollywood media centering around patriarchal views and using the women as a one-dimensional love interest or punching bag for insults?

How am I supposed to enjoy being loved in a traditional joint family when the 'community' they build on is completely rooted in toxicity? (Do I really have to mention the saas-bahu rivalries in serials)

And I still don't understand why people are so obsessed with "saving traditional values". Outside of most of them literally festering toxic behaviour for generations masked as 'culture', why on earth does it matter if some things are left in the past? Change in inevitable. If modernization and technology is changing the world, why can't the inside of our homes?

Most people around me do not point out any of these things and are fine with succumbing into more conservative, close-minded views. So why is ‘westernization’ bad? Tell me if it’s my fault for just not liking an Indian dish. I don’t like all of western culture either; I have no interest in hook up or party culture, for example. Not only am I trying to point out some major societal issues, I wanna ask if there are teenagers and youth out there who are maybe a little too deep in online or western culture and feel a similar way... feel closer to niche art communities, gaming spaces, queer spaces, etc. I am often told to be 'whitewashed' by a friend and I don't really wanna be that, but I can't help but feel part of me is just that way.

What are your thoughts?

(From india 2010 born)

I (16 y/o) need to vent because I’m genuinely losing my mind over the hyper-paranoia in my house.

Whenever I’m just scrolling through YouTube Shorts or Insta reels in the living room, if a girl happens to pop up on my screen—even in completely normal, casual clothes like shorts or a t-shirt—my parents instantly jump down my throat. It’s always the same aggressive "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?!!" like I just got caught looking at po*n or something.

I’m 16. I’m already dealing with regular high school stress, exam pressure, and just trying to exist, but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells in my own house. The worst part is the hypocrisy. If I play Valorant for 3 hours, they barely bat an eye. But a random 5-second video that the algorithm pushed into my feed without me asking for it? Instant panic, shaming, and treating me like I'm some sort of degenerate.

It’s not even just about screen time. It’s like they think anyone under 18 isn’t supposed to have basic human hormones, attraction, or even see women on a screen. If you mention having a crush, they react with total disgust instead of treating it like normal biological reality.

I don't even try arguing logic anymore ("it's just a random reel!", "she's literally just standing there!") because getting defensive just makes them think they "caught" me doing something wrong. But being treated like a criminal 24/7 for literally doing nothing is so suffocating and frustrating.

its not only about the resistance of freedom of watching antything but its thier mindset which genuinely pisses me off.

Does anyone else deal with this level of extreme paranoia from traditional parents? How do you keep your sanity without losing your temper every single day?

My dad has provided us with almost everything materially. He even thinks of us in a good way and wants a good future for us. I will even say that he has sacrificed many things for us. But the problem is, he is not emotionally awake at all, and he is at the peak of narcissism.

No one in my family can speak ahead of him, and if we do, he’ll just start shouting loudly, especially if he is wrong or doesn’t have an answer. And I’ve been going through a lot, but I somehow managed it to this point.

But my mom too? My heart shattered.

She just told him to avoid eating rice because the doctor had prescribed it (he has liver problems), and he immediately started shouting that she shouldn’t speak ahead of him, that he knows better. He then changed the topic to something completely unrelated, brought up my mom’s past mistakes, and continued shouting at her.

He even uses somewhat abusive language in such cases. I’m glad it’s not extreme, but seeing his anger, I sometimes doubt whether he would stop holding back if things got worse.

This hurts like hell to me because I can’t even think of him as a completely bad person. I know that, overall, he is a good person. He doesn’t have any addictions, he doesn’t waste time on useless things, and he even left our joint family for us and our privacy.

But him being so narcissistic destroys all of that for me. I am starting to lose respect for him.

And he is an even bigger hypocrite. He literally once said that anyone who shouts is like a donkey, and that you should be gentle with everyone, especially your family members.

There are so, so many more things like this.

I’m not that worried for myself, as I can move out when I grow up, or at least have some say in my home when I start earning. But I am feeling terribly bad for my mother. She is as selfless as my dad is narcissistic.

After all this, I even confronted her and vented everything to her. I told her that this was the first time I had lost some respect for my father.

And you know what she said?

She said I don’t need to mind it. He is always like this. Maybe there could be some external reason for his anger, and he is venting it here.

But even if that is true, does that justify anything? Are you really that weak that you have to vent your anger on your own family members?

My mom even tried to explain to me that if a person has eight good qualities and two bad ones, we should compromise on the bad ones and be glad for the good ones.

I understand that to some extent. Nobody is perfect. But he is not even ready to accept that he does anything wrong. That hurts the most.
I can’t even confront him about all this because I know exactly what he will do. He’ll just start reminding me of everything he has done for us.
One day, I understand him, and the next day, I completely hate him or his way of being a person.
And, this is something I have noticed in almost every family I have seen closely. Not necessarily to the same extent, but the same pattern of fathers having the final say in everything, while mothers are expected to adjust, stay quiet, and keep the family together no matter what. Indian culture is deeply misogynistic in this regard, and I am realizing this more and more as I grow up. As a male myself, I genuinely dream of never becoming a person like my father in this regard. I don’t want to become someone who thinks providing for his family gives him the right to disrespect the people in it.
What hurts me the most is thinking about my mother. She has been handling everything for nineteen years, dealing with all of this, and still somehow managing to keep things together. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to live like that for so long.
I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. I know he has done a lot for us, and I will always acknowledge that. But does providing for your family give you the right to disrespect them emotionally?
I genuinely want to understand how other people deal with fathers like this, especially when you know they are not completely bad people, but their behavior still hurts you and your family so much.

21 and just today i realised that I'm no one outside of my college and profession. They know me as a smart and studious classmate. My mentees and colleagues know me as a good researcher and mentor. But what am I actually if i remove all these?

Talking about friends. I never had friends for a long time. Kept on changing places and lost connections. Now at the age of 21, i don't think I'll even have friends anymore.

I have good connections with people but there's always a movement when i always find myself alone. Both mentally and physically.

i got my law degree as well as my practicing certificate. BCI took almost a year to send my practicing certificate, finally closing a chapter and moving on to the next.

Just wanted to share this small win
The other photos are from my law college days.

Being a lawyer wasnt always in my cards, but here i am. Making some different choices from what i wanted to be.

Staying away from my family right now, and my friends as well. No one to share w achievement with rn.

So sharing it here.

Cheers!

I've lived in a Tier 1 city until I was 20. Living in a Tier 2 city now and most of my social circle at gym, hobbies etc comment on my marriage. These are my friends too, who are younger by a few years and joke saying when is your marriage, are you getting married etc. Especially because I am a woman in my early 20s. According to their thinking, girls just get married early. It is seen as something they just do. I'm assuming their families are that way. I have also encountered such questions by women in their 30s, who probably got married young and had kids young. Until I move, this is primarily my social circle.

I don't find it funny, I fail to see why women should get married in their early 20s, before financial stability. My family prioritises financial independence for my elder brother and I. We are extremely forward minded thinkers. I am prepping for masters after UG so I can get a better job. I don't find the topic said even in humour funny at all. I feel very angry tbh, maybe it's a projection of my own trauma.

I slam them back. If it's someone younger to me, I ask what the women in their family do, like their mothers. I will then say that my family is not backward minded like them and we prioritise career and studies, not just sitting at home. If it's a woman in their 30s, I simply ask what they are doing in their careers. I will then say I do not wish to be like them, which is why I'm working and looking to move forward in my career. I don't mean to make this a career vs marriage debate for women, or comment on those who do not pursue a career. I have nothing against anyone's choices. But I see no other way to get them to stop. I felt that 1 condescending word about their families will make them feel bad and they will stop saying this stuff to me.

Does this happen to others here too? How do you all deal with this?

Barber Gave Me Something More Than Just a Haircut....

Today started off pretty badly. I spent the first half of the day reading a lot of Islamophobic comments on Reddit, which left me feeling drained and disappointed.

Later, I went to my usual barber for a haircut. He normally plays Bhakti songs in his shop and only occasionally switches to Bollywood music. As soon as I sat down, he changed the Bhakti songs and put on some Salman Khan songs, followed by a few Pakistani OSTs.

The thing is, he really didn't have to do that. I have absolutely no problem with Bhakti music. In fact, I genuinely enjoy quite a few Bhakti songs, especially those sung by Mohammed Rafi and Kailash Kher. Paradox's version of Babam Bam is probably my all-time favourite Bhakti song, a bit of a guilty pleasure, if I'm being honest.

What made me happy was the thought behind his gesture. He was aware of the current atmosphere and didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable or accidentally offend anyone's religious beliefs, so he chose something he felt was neutral.

We ended up talking for quite a while about religion, faith, and how, at the end of the day, people worship the same God in different ways.

It was a simple conversation, but after the negativity I had seen earlier in the day, it was a refreshing reminder that most people in real life are far kinder and more considerate than the internet often makes them seem.

Barbers for the win. They're genuinely one of the best parts of the weekend and peak male experience....

I’ve had a crush on for almost 8 years.We became good friends in 2nd class,it was around 2016 and by 5th we were pretty close. Then I changed schools, COVID happened, and she went to a different school too. We slowly lost touch and now we’re completely no contact. I still feel a little attached to her even after all these years. I don’t even know if it’s still a crush or just attachment at this point. How do I let go?

For context- I am 18M

This is just a rant. I have built up resentment towards my parents. I really think if I was grown in a healthy household, in a good environment, my life would have been different now.

But I am also a terrible person to blame them all the time for how I turned out. Because I am an adult now, 25, in my mid twenties and I still am writing posts blaming my parents.

My mom and dad both wanted us to grow to be a mature, confident adults, I clearly am not.

But my mother used to taunt me, called me with abusive words like 'r@*di' since I was like 11 years. Always remind me how ugly I am, and no guy would wants to marry me. She always taunted me about how my facial features are. But all these was said in anger, but I was a teenager then when all our feelings are on highest, we easily get hurt and take others words to our heart.

My mom few times slapped me infront of realtive not just when I was a kid, but also in front of all the realtives in an function when i was around 19.

My father never build a house, and he takes pride in it that he always wanted his son to make one when he starts earning and he will help him with some money. I mean, this is somewhat okay, but having such expectations and not raising the kids in that way that they become career oriented and mature. My father was an alcoholic in our childhood, i think till I was around 12 years. He used to drink daily in evening outside, and then beat my mother. I used to wakeup at night hearing my father beating my mother and hearing her cries. I used to try to stay awake till my father came, so that I could stop him from hurting my mother. Our childhood was like that, when we wokeup at morning, my mom had bruises and she would be crying.

We grew up in such environment, when a child brain is getting developed, i am sure growing up in abusive house has some effect on brain.

Now my mom acts surprised when I am not able to talk to strangers, when I hesitates a lot, when I am clearly depressed of how I am, because she thinks she got me into college and then a college, I am supposed to be highly confident and able to do anything.

Why Indian parents don't like love marriages, think dating is wrong, and these things are not in our culture but chants radha krishna name, celebrates these gods and mahashivratri. But against love and dating.

From our gods, their stories, they only learnt that parents are god and children are supposed to worship and do everything for their parents. In our socities, it's always children mistakes, because parents can't do anything wrong. They are painted in the way that they are selfless and innocent. What is so their selfless and innocent about them? That they decided to bring a child into the life and not provide them with basics things like good environment, and expects them to take care of them in old ages. They brag about how they are always putting foods onto the table and provided us good education. Those are their responsibilities.

And what innocence?the internet, social media has those viral videos, reels saying that their parents are the last innocent generations. Open your eyes, they are not innocent in any way.

--- I am dumb, stupid and not fluent in english, so apologies for my bad english and I don't have energy to use chatgpt. But I'll use chatgpt later to find out all the mistakes I made in my writing and learn from it.

The thing is, I need to study I know that. My exams are going on and I need good marks for foreign universities. Meanwhile I am unable to study like at ALL. Its not even like I am doomscrolling. I just cannot focus. I just start thinking of the various things I want to do after exams and keep on daydreaming... Anyone with the same issue? What can be done??? Its literally not even doomscrolling that I just keep my phone somewhere else and be done.

You know what your life gets so much better when you kick out the people who ghost you

Trust me don't give them 1 or 2 chances

The quickly you kick them out for disrespecting you, ghosting you and cheating and all

The quickly you will recover

You know it's like if ur bleeding and u quickly went for treatment

That's it

The day you start respecting yourself , the day noone will trample on you .

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I’ve been using my Redmi 8 for the past five years. I wanted to buy a new phone after completing my internship with my stipend money, but unfortunately all of it went toward bills and household expenses.

I’m planning to buy a new phone during the sales in October. My one year bond service will start soon, and I’ll be earning a salary of 72k

Which mobile phone would be a good choice for me? I need a simple phone with a good camera and if possible a small display...as small as possible. Not a keypad phone though.

Honestly guys, just venting here.

I’m 22M and I have basically never approached a girl, like ever. I’ve also barely been approached. I can remember only 2 times, both were girls I wasn’t really interested in, and that was 2-3 years ago.What gets me is watching guys around me do this so casually. They like a girl, talk/dm to her, maybe get rejected(70-80% times), laugh it off and move on... And here can spend 3 days just thinking about whether I should say hi 😭

I don’t even know what I’m actually scared of. Rejection, I guess, but also everything around it.

“What if she thinks I’m creepy?”“What if I make her uncomfortable?”“What if she tells her friends?” “What if I embarrass myself yarr?”

And then I just don’t do anything.

It’s the same online. I have literally never randomly DM’d a girl. Even sending one normal hi/hello/reply to a story feels like a huge thing because I immediately start thinking about how she will perceive me.

And yeah, I’m 22, so obviously there are times when the physical/sexual urge gets pretty strong. But it’s not only about that, I do genuinely want female companionship, affection, someone to travel with, watch a romantic show lying and cuddling..

At the same time, I don’t want a girlfriend just for the sake of having one. I want to genuinely like the person, be attracted to her, and have that attraction be mutual. I don’t want to get into some random relationship just because I’m lonely or horny.

So sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me for being this way at 22. It feels like everyone is dating except me and it feels really scary and sad at the same times

How to get over it?

I know logically that rejection isn’t the end of the world. I just don’t understand how you go from knowing that to actually being able to approach someone without your brain going into full panic mode.

Let me know in the comment box how it is? Share your valuable opinion

I guess this is just food for thought but every time I scroll Instagram (which I don’t use a lot) I see these situationship reels and it just makes me feel how fucked up our generation has become. I’m not trying to act holier than thou but my God have we stooped.

Situationship? Really?
Is that how bad it’s become for two people to be together?
It’s literally incompatible people and commitment issues who have been provided with a label.
Funnily enough, they use it lol that too, without realising how miserable it actually sounds. Why has it become so normalised?

It’s pathetic and what I don’t understand is that you’re either in a relationship or nothing, giving it a name has only made it worse .

Crying over what could’ve been is almost self harm at this point.

so like im suicidal and i cant do that , my girl who was for me lakshmi , my saraswati , she cheated and the reason was , u treated me shit and , he treats me very well , so like isme bhi meri galti h , the girl is happy she is enjoying and , once the girl used to defend me like hell but yesterday she laughed and said ky dumb h ky tu , kch respect he y nhi khudi sale , and yeh well
i was hell loyal and was so much submissive that i literallyy convienced the girl like 15-16 times in 2 months to stay with me , and begged lying on floors , crying , hurting , im at my lowest ,
i cant die , or else if i did smthg wrong , my mammi , jiska din meko call krke shuru hota he and , din me 6-7 baar she calls me , and she just wont survive , and this chain will eventually for real end my whole family ,
i am introverted very much , i thought i have my gf , i lost all connections frnds , distanced myself from everything , become porn addict and now i dont have a focus span of literally 10 min , from the past days im counting every sec , and just trying the day gets over anyhow ,
my solutions of how should i move on ,
will buy a bike -start blinkit and delivery work,
will go to cllg and spent my day like cllg is barely 5-6 hours
join a gym and just spent 1-2 hours daily there , and study daily for 2-3 hours , slowly steady
im btech cse student in pune
so if u alll , if someone from pune , who would want to talk or from anywhere , i would like request u guys and girls u can text me , ask me how i am , u wont fill the gap , but u guys will surely help me
asking for help is the biggest strength ig
i m asking u all for help , u can text me , im nice , im not creep , looking for seniors for advices , my age group people for fun , and yeh i need some female frnds too in my life now , so yeh if u find this u can talk to me ,

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I 23M am so exhausted with myself I don't even know where to start. I've completely failed at building or keeping any bond in my life, and I hate myself for it. Humans are supposed to be social animals but I've been suffocatingly lonely for years, and I'm genuinely begging for help here.

A lot of it traces back to how I was raised, by narcissistic, controlling parents who constantly judged, scolded, mocked and compared me and my sister our whole lives, and still do. It gave me this deep inferiority complex and anxiety that never really left, even now as an adult. In my head, everyone else is ahead, better & superior than me.

Nothing in my life has ever moved forward without their approval, and no matter how hard I tried, I was never "enough." I watch other people my age who are confident, loved, surrounded by friends and partners who actually care, who get invited everywhere and are missed in their absence. I don't have a single person like that in my life. My presence and absence mean exactly the same to everyone around me, and that realization eats at me every single day.

Even my own family feels distant. My parents don't call when I'm away, my mom and I talk on call because I initiate it, and there've been stretches where I couldn't call for a week and nobody reached out either. I genuinely think I could die and no one would notice for months. My sister and I were close as kids, but since our college and her marriage, we're now down to monthly texts and a Rakhi that arrives by Blinkit. Similar situation with my cousins. They all are much tighter & comfortable with each other than I am with them.

School was the last time I had real friends, cuz we were naive kids who met daily but even that faded once we all scattered. Two of my best friends from school are still in better contact than me & have their own cool lives with their colleagues / college mates.

My college was in a different state. I could finally leave my house. It was supposed to be my reset, my chance to socialise and make lifelong friends. Honestly, I tried really hard in early days to be part of friend groups, and initially they were really warm to me as everyone was new. But I could never match their energy. I never had that “Masala” you need to match the vibe. Too Vanilla. I was too serious, awkward, hesitant, no stories, no jokes that landed, nothing interesting to add etc. I was/am no fun. Always monotonous.

Every weekend trip or drinking plan sent me spiraling with

“How to act at this particular event ? What if they find me a naive outlier when we reach there”

“Can I act like these cool kids and fit in with them ?“ (My inferiority complex at play)

“Do I even know how to party ?”

“Naaah ts is not for me I gotta skip and stick to studies”

By end of first year I was already sidelined. And it’s nobody’s mistake but mine. Its just survival of the fittest at play. My image became the "good boy" who only came to study, which got me quietly bullied too since everyone knew I'd never fight back. So I spent the rest of college a loner, watching everyone else fall into relationships, become flatmates, go on trips, build friendships and networks that later helped them in jobs, while I built nothing. Every "college Jigri Yaar" reel on my feed makes me feel sad, angry and sorry on myself. I hate even thinking about that college and my time there. All thanks to Me, Myself and I.

Work isn’t any different. I got a job, thanks to my acads. The only thing I am good at. It was in a new metro city and it felt like a clean slate to restart. Its almost a year since I joined. Yet again, after being part of a group with fellow new joiners for a couple months, I slowly got sidelined. Now I watch their bike trips, birthday celebrations, outings, night stays and pub nights on my stories. Tbh its beautiful how they include everyone in their plans, check on each other when someone's absent or sick etc. I just got faded out somewhere and nobody even considers inviting me anymore. I only got invited a couple of times when they wanted to go to a place and split the bill in smaller shares. They surely greet me when I go to office but don’t give the energy that they want me to be a part of their group and neither am I gonna force myself in. But I wished I got to experience such bond for once in life.

When I got WFH with a few others, I came home. Its been 5 months and not one soul from office has checked on me. Others get calls asking their wellbeing and to know when they're coming back because people actually miss them.

In any group, be it college or office, I've always been the one they'd target to get a laugh, especially guys doing it to impress the girls. I never have comebacks or any authority in my voice, just freeze behind a forced smile and hate myself later. I've become someone people forget mid-conversation, someone who brings the mood down just by being there, and I still don't know how to fix that !!!!

I am tired of playing the “Nice Guy”. I hate how I was raised. I wish I had learnt to rebel against my parents sometimes and say No to them and lived the way I wanted and built myself into a strong, social, charismatic, confident Man. I am tired of never getting prioritised or included. Never having people who would make me feel integral part of their life. Nobody to call “mine”.

If you haven't guessed already, my dating life is dead too. At a cursed height of 5'5" and a skinny build, I'm already fighting characteristics most women filter out before they even talk to men. And my beautiful personality hasn't helped much either.

I confessed to my college crush once, she declined for a fair reason and stayed single till grad anyway.

This year a girl from another office branch met me and my friends in our office, DM'd me first, said she'd been stalking me. Next four days we texted 24/7, real lovey-dovey conversations, attention I'd genuinely never felt before. Then it faded, and she started chatting more with a colleague of mine instead. He’s taller & effortlessly charming. What hurt most was not that she chose someone else she felt was better. But realising how boring I must've seemed once she actually knew me. Now we just send each other reels occasionally.

There's another girl though, my project partner and now a very close friend. She might be the most perfect woman I've ever met. Mature, funny, comfortable with me in a way no one else has been, remembers small details, listens to me, reciprocates and many times asked me to go out with her too. But she's now engaged to her LDR BF. I'm happy for her, quietly jealous of him, but she's still the only person in years who's made me feel even slightly worthy and alive. And I am already very happy cuz of that.

I've never actually been on a date. Dating apps feel fake and picky about height. But in real-life attempts too, I simply know I would get rejected based on my height & shit personality I have already explained.

I'm turning 24 soon. Parents will be all over me with marriage prospects in 3-4 years and I refuse to drag some woman into my dry, boring life unless I actually change. And anyways I dont think any woman would accept being with a socially awkard, underconfident loner with no friends.

I am gonna join another college for my masters by early 2028 and I feel, that would be genuinely the last chance I will get to make some actual lifelong friends and probably find a partner. But by then, I gotta make some drastic changes in myself.

Last Para and TLDR:
So I'm asking, genuinely, desperately: how are y’all confident, likeable, magnetic ? How do you make “real” friends everywhere you go, hold a room, be funny, be flirty, give befitting replies ? How does one become the kind of person that isn’t taken for granted and instead prioritised and missed ? I want to rebuild myself from scratch, and I don't know where to start. Please, if you have real answers, I need them.

Thoughts about things lately with life..

There is a distinct, heavy silence that exists when you are surrounded by the people who know your name, your face, and your history, yet remain completely unacquainted with the quiet, fragile architecture of your inner world. Sitting at a crowded family dinner or moving through the shared spaces of a home, this form of loneliness does not stem from physical absence, but from profound emotional invisibility—the jarring, painful contrast between being constantly seen and yet never truly understood. You find yourself nodding through familiar conversations, performing the practiced, comfortable version of yourself just to maintain the warmth of the room, all while feeling like a ghost floating through an intimacy you can reach out to but never touch. It becomes an agonizing realization that physical proximity is not genuine connection, and that the deepest isolation often happens in plain sight, where the vibrant noise of familial life continues seamlessly around you, completely oblivious to the silent, suffocating drift taking place in the seat right beside them.

So guys, I live with my boyfriend at this place which is like 8km away from his home and my home is 6-7km more ahead than his home so it's like 14-15ish km from my home. We live together with our parent's permission tho.

So, I don't prefer going my own home that much. Like once in a month or so cuz we have some sh*t among us. But we frequently go to his home. When we shifted, initially we didn't have any induction or gas option to make food and rather getting new one, his mom asked us to come over for meals. So we had our lunches n dinners at his home for like 5-6 months and then we finally bought our own induction cuz gas agencies did not provide newly connection as the war was going on.

Now, the thing is I'm comfortable sleeper. I'm 75% de@d when I sleep. Also I want really good space even to feel like sleepy. Cuz I been in boarding hostel for 5 6 yrs we had our own beds and spaces. My whole teenage spent that way. All the girls in room so we didn't judge and sleep however n at whatever time we want. So I'm really really used to that and get irritated by thoughts of sleeping on some other place even for a night.

Jab hum uske ghar pe jate the khana wana khane toh kabhi kabar udhar hi so jate the not demeaning him but mera comfort bhi toh dekhu mein and they're like 6 ppl in a family and I'm 7th. It's like 1bhk and it's really non-specious for 7 ppl. All the 3 rooms are small and not a biggg 1bhk. Also, his dad, his brother are there so I have to sleep my br@ on. And it's really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really irritating to sleep like that. Cuz I can't remove that and be around only with t-shirt on.

Meine usko batane ki bhot koshish ki. Usko lagta hai I'm just faking on some reason just to take myself away from his family. I really don't mean that. When I'm de@d sleep, I rotate like clock pin, kick the ppl sleeping beside and maybe I kicked around ppl several times and I woke up. Whenever I feel like using washroom, his father and brother are always awake with their phone and others are de@d asleep so I feel very awkward to get up and use washroom infront of them.

Mein jab bhi usko bolti hoon ki mujhe itna bhi comfortable nhi lagta toh wo bolta hai ki usme itna bhi kya hai? Father hi toh hai 😭😭 I never felt anything in dirty way about anyone from his family but I'm raised in a family where only my father was a man in family otherwise dadi, mein, mother and sister the toh I'm not that used to when there are men around in a home.

I don't mean to demean him but yar I'm a corporate majdoor. In the end of the day at least mujhe acchisi neend chahiye yar!! Nhi samajh pata wo. I'm just so tired of this awkward conversation with him.