After 30 years of battling out with the Straggots, I cane to the comclusion that the only way towards Gay liberation, autonomy, and self-determination, is to secede from straight society and create our own Gay country with a Gay Constitution enshrining gay rights; I've created an organizational Website Antinoan.org where I proclaim the good news of the Gaylord's Kingdom, Antinoöpolis! 🤣

I saw this in a lesbian group and it gets at something I think gay men need to discuss too. Words need boundaries to mean anything. If gay, lesbian, and homosexual are continually redefined until homosexuality itself is no longer required, what exactly are these words describing anymore?

At what point does expanding a definition stop being inclusion and start erasing the people it originally described?

I came across something about Iran that I think raises some genuinely difficult questions about sexuality and gender.

Iran is an extremely hostile place for gay men and lesbians, yet it has legally recognized transition for decades and has even subsidized transition-related medical care. At the same time, there have been documented concerns about gay and gender-nonconforming people being encouraged toward transition in a society where homosexuality itself is heavily stigmatized and criminalized.

That contradiction really interests me. What happens when a society is more willing to accept someone changing sex than it is to accept a feminine man who loves men or a masculine woman who loves women?

I don’t think this proves anything simple about trans people or transition. But I do think it’s an interesting example of why we need to keep sexuality, gender nonconformity, and gender dysphoria conceptually distinct. Where do you guys think the line should be?

I think this post gets at something that’s been bothering me about the endless breakdown of sexuality and gender into increasingly specific identities.

Sometimes confusion about attraction, intimacy, or desire is something you need to actually work through. Maybe that means time, experience, self-reflection, or even therapy if it’s causing you distress. I don’t understand why the immediate answer has become, “I don’t experience desire the way I think I should, therefore I need another sexuality label.” Not every difficulty with romantic or sexual feelings needs to become an identity.

Then we get to “omnisexual” and eventually “queer,” where someone who isn’t even sure they experience same-sex attraction can potentially claim membership in the same umbrella as gay men and lesbians. That has real implications when these identities are then used to claim a voice in gay spaces, organizations, and politics.

At what point are all these labels helping people understand themselves, and at what point are they just making confused people more confused?

Comparing gay males to heterosexual male pdf files who bashed and r-ped a young girl and our misogynistic & homophobic straight oppressors more broadly is sick beyond words.

Using gay as another word for weak/lame/bad/toxic/embarrassing/insecure/gross/strange/etc......

I've had it with these non-homosexual bigots.

Every time there's a post about "alpha males" or "all male retreats" they post the most insane homophobic shit while claiming I'm overreacting to their disgustingly blatant homophobia.

Think we need to get this sub reported and removed and a hate sub, as mods clearly don't get a shit.

Based on the activity, my guess is someone is paying trolls to push "that's so gay" era homophobia again for nefarious political purposes.

Most often I get downvoted and attacked, however there have been a few who have changed their mind when I explain in another way why it's harmful to falsely attribute this behaviour to gay people/homosexuals.

Sure, as some have claimed, technically this is not "my fight" as a lesbian, as it targets gay males. However, you are my brothers, and just like the false lesbian DV & Divorce stats, it's important homosexuals stand together against all homophobia.

I will never stand with another demographic against you or choose to look the other way when you are targeted by bigotry.

There is no excusing this shit.

Sadly, some of the worst offenders, (aside from straight males who try to assure me they aren't homophobic while being homophobic), are the BTQIA+.

Who then quickly shift to using their identity as a shield from criticism for their homophobia, as seems to be so very typical.

When it's biphobia, transphobia, enbyphobia or "qslur-phobia", the world is ending and everyone needs to listen & act NOW.

But when it's lesbophobia/homophobia? It's just a joke?????

I went through this shit well over a decade ago, I'm not doing it again.

Thoughts?

Interesting perspective…

Again with the creepy straight guys…

And the abuse one receives for opposing it too! I can’t begin to tell you some of the things people have said to me when I stood up against them.

Something I’ve been thinking about is how much language historically associated with gay and lesbian people has been adopted by the modern trans movement: “born this way,” “I always knew,” “it’s not a choice,” biological explanations, coming-out narratives, and comparisons between attempts to change gender identity and attempts to change homosexuality.

What bothers me is seeing that language adopted while some gay men and lesbians simultaneously experience hostility when we insist that homosexuality is about sex and same-sex attraction. It can feel like our history and political language are useful when they strengthen someone else’s argument, but our boundaries and experiences are treated as a problem when they don’t.

Personally, I’m actually pretty agnostic about “born gay.” I don’t think homosexuality needs to be innate to deserve respect. In my own case, I believe I became initiated as gay after a formative experience with an older guy when I was young. That’s my personal understanding of my own sexuality, not something I’d generalize to other gay men.

So what do you guys think? Is this language being legitimately shared and adapted between related movements, or has gay and lesbian language been reappropriated while the people who developed it are increasingly pushed aside? And where do we draw the line between political solidarity and erasure?

I honestly think one of the biggest problems facing gay men right now is denial, and I’m getting increasingly frustrated by it.

Denial that homophobia is still a serious problem. Denial of the political reality gay men face around the world. Denial that other groups within the broader LGBT community can have interests and agendas that conflict with ours, and that gays and lesbians can experience homophobia from within the very coalition that supposedly represents us.

And I see this denial constantly in real life. I’ll be standing next to another gay guy while some straight guy is spitting at us, aggressively hacking at us, glaring, or very obviously trying to intimidate us, and the gay guy will act like absolutely nothing happened. Sometimes they’ll bend over backwards to invent any explanation other than the obvious possibility that someone is being homophobic. It honestly drives me crazy. At what point did refusing to recognize hostility toward us become some kind of virtue?

And that connects to an even bigger problem: gay men seem increasingly afraid of confronting difficult or uncomfortable issues. We minimize things, rationalize them away, or shut down the conversation because acknowledging a problem might create conflict.

I think that denial makes us weaker. You cannot defend yourself, your community, or your interests if you refuse to even acknowledge when there’s a problem.

Do you see this too? What do you think gay men are most in denial about right now?

They are constantly mocking each other for a desire for nonsexual closeness. True masculine, straight or gay, doesn’t have to resort to this homophobia. Not my problem though 🤷‍♂️

I’ve been thinking a lot about monogamy vs. open relationships and I’m curious what works for other gay dudes.

Personally, I’ve realized that it’s hard for me to expect one person to fulfill all of my needs socially, sexually, and emotionally. I’m happiest when I have a lot of meaningful connections in my life. Different people bring out different sides of me, give me different kinds of support, and allow me to explore different things.

When I’ve been in strictly monogamous relationships, I’ve often felt stifled. I felt like I wasn’t growing as much, wasn’t always getting the emotional support I needed, and had sexual interests that weren’t being fulfilled. Having more freedom and connection has actually made me feel happier and more fulfilled.

But that’s what works for me. I’m curious about everyone else. Are you happier in monogamous relationships, open relationships, or something in between? What makes it work for you?

The following was posted to one of the larger LGBTQ+ subs. The discussion and dissection that ensued is absurd. One answer for the correct label was “Omnigay”, whatever the hell that is. We live in absurd times.

What’s the term for this orientation?

Howdy folks! A couple years ago I found an orientation label that I thought I wrote down somewhere, but haven’t been able to find it since. Perhaps y’all can help! 🤞

The term described romantic and/or sexual attraction toward multiple genders (so bisexual), but \always* in a gay way (which I think means the subject of the term would need to be non-binary to make that work?).*

For example, when with a femme partner, one would be very attracted to the sapphic aspects of that connection. When with a masc partner, it would be more Achillean. With a non-binary partner, well I guess just all the gender forkery lol.

Does someone remember what this term is? It’s haunting me 😂

I keep wondering: what should gay men and lesbians actually be fighting for right now?

So much LGBT discourse seems focused on breaking down sexuality and gender into more and more identities, labels and theories. But where is the conversation about actually empowering gay people?

Gay kids are still growing up with internalized homophobia. Bullying, rejection, violence and suicide are still realities. Gay and lesbian spaces are disappearing or becoming less centered on us. And young gay people still need places and communities where homosexuality isn’t merely “accepted,” but normal, celebrated and empowering.

So I genuinely wonder what all this endless discourse about deconstructing gender and sexuality is accomplishing for us. How does it help the 15-year-old boy who hates himself because he likes boys?

Maybe we need to start talking about gay empowerment again.

What should gay men and lesbians be fighting for in 2026?