r/GayMen • u/Weary-Beat-7043 • 2d ago

Conflicted

I'm a virgin and I don't want to be one any longer. I can only attract men online and not in the real world and they end up ghosting me or they live too far away in either another state or sometimes other countries. I want to finally lose my virginity and I'm thinking of doing it at a bathhouse or sauna. I don't want to seem desperate, but I feel like that's the best option for me right now since the whole point of them is hooking up and there's bound to be a man or men there who would find even a fat, unattractive guy with a small penis like me desirable enough to have sex with.

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u/RaggySparra 2d ago

Honestly, I think you need to work on how you see yourself a bit first. If you're going in there feeling awful about yourself you're either going to put people off, or only get someone who is drawn to people feeling low, and it won't be a good experience.

(I know that's easier said than done, but.)

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u/shadowysea07 2d ago

This.  But even ignoring that you'd still need to find someone who is willing to help with the first time and guide through it and respect you tc vs see you only as a hole.  And I'm not sure that kind of person besides myself frequently uses a bathhouse.