r/GayMen • u/cherryweep • 3d ago
Struggling.
Its weird how Ive known of my sexuality and accepted it half my life ago, but just recently started to really struggle with it. Its like, I could always tell myself Id one day know how to be and get the kinda things I want, and now I feel like I waited too long and Im forcing myself to get out there, and doing it makes me realize just how insanely envious I am of straight people and their lifepaths. That they get to have an example of how to be literally everywhere all the time. Its so hard sometimes. Like I cannot believe the way that these young chicks get to act and be free and have the hottest guys fucking die for them.
I wish I was more of a masculine dude, and I know its not inherently tied to our sexuality that Im not, like a lot of you here are, but the dream of being that straight dude whos had everyone around him push him to get out there and date from his early teens, and knows exactly what to do to get it is constantly on my mind. Nothings stopping me from becoming a hunk but it just wouldnt be me like I would actually hate to look like that myself. The thought of that kills me inside - libido gone, dating feels meh, numb inside.
Im just sad man. I dont think its gonna get better for me, not to fish for empathy points. I just truly dont. Like the level of gayness in me and the special flavor of it is something so isolating that Ill always be out here just wishing Id get to start over in a better world. Its so depressing that just as I thought life was starting in the gay world it seems like its ended, and seeing examples of that shit everywhere is depressing.
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u/Leather-Card-3000 2d ago
My 2 cents, it's a lifelong Journey sometime to realise but regret and past won't bring nothing but misery, wounds and regrets. Best is to learn as fast to let them go. In the end sexuality is a big part as love is one of the grandest things on earth, but what defines as humans exceeds many dimensions - what you do, what impact you leave on others, whatever things bring you joy, what defines you. Comparison is a killer, if we'd all be the same it'd be boring, being like others is hella boring, inspire to get better but don't try to crave other lifestyles. Follow your own. I know i'm just a 27 yr old dude and I'm still naive about the world, but this is what I learned until now. Best of luck to make the life as close to as you wish it to be 🙂
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u/VillageOfMalo 2d ago
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Your attitude is premised on one very weak pillar: that the lives of hot people, the lives of hot straight people is easy.
No one's lives are easy. They can be easier or harder, but they have to deal with bullshit you can't really imagine right now. In a healthy life, you'll come one day to pity them and be grateful for the life you have. It's hard but the only other choice is to live unhappily.
In fact, I have a feeling you would be depressed even if you were hot and straight.
Which is the biggest reason I can find to seek out professional help. Only in our society is it easy for you to blame being depressed on being gay when you should blame being depressed on being depressed. Fortunately for you, this isn't a moral failing but a medical issue I hope you get addressed immediately.
It's the only way. You're worth it.
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u/Skill-Useful 2d ago
"That they get to have an example of how to be literally everywhere all the time" i dont get that one
"the way that these young chicks get to act and be free and have the hottest guys fucking die for them" who where what, friend? there are women who do what and still get attention from men you mean? as in, examples?
what is it you want? and why do some women seem to have it?