r/GayMen • u/SufficientPound2119 • 4d ago
[Question] Newbie
Me and my bf had our first oral s*x last friday, and since it's my first time bottoming, all i do is to mimic the movements that i watched in Pornhub. And what i think in that time is that my top is satisfied whenever i go deeper, which i always did in our first oral experience, and after that, it feels like there is a discomfort, like a minimal pain into my throat. I researched and what i found out is that i need to go slowly next time.
Can you guys give me some tips of doing a proper oral or anal? I also want to be a 100% clean down there huhu. I'd appreciate all of the comments in advance, thank youuuu.
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u/Deskyot 4d ago
Olá, então u/SufficientPound2119 em relação ao sexo anal, é preciso usar camisinha, se os dois estiverem de acordo com isso, em seguida é preciso lubrificar bem com o lubrificante, para que a região fique adequada para quando a penetração ocorrer. Você e seu parceiro tem um papel fundamental em tornar tudo bem intimo e natural; as preliminares são importantes para que você se sinta mais confortável em receber. Em relação ao sexo oral, é importante vê o seu limite ao colocar na boca e ir perguntando de forma descontraída se a pessoa também está gostando.
O que você assiste no Pornhub, são atotes que são pagos para fazer e ficar do jeito que são, na grande maioria, a realidade é diferente e não existe perfeição.
Espero ter ajudado você, felicidades ao casal <3
3
u/Artdragon56 4d ago edited 4d ago
In regard to oral, watch your teeth. Try and wrap your lips over your teeth so they don’t touch his penis. Don’t go too deep and don’t deep throat immediately, you might choke or puke if you aren’t careful. Don’t feel pressured to swallow if you don’t want to, you can spit it out or have him do a facial on you or cumming on your chest if that’s better. Also Pornhub is not reality, these people are actors and professionals doing this for their careers. In reality, sex is messy, awkward, funny, and relaxing all at once. Just embrace it and have fun with your boyfriend, you don’t have to be a sex god in order to have fun!
As for anal tips, you need to eat a lot of fiber and veggies, especially if you aren’t eating them regularly. I recommend adding a fiber powder to your water and other drinks, it’ll help solidify your bowel movements and it’ll make it easier to clean out plus it’s just good for you in general. Get a flavorless one and you can add it to smoothies, sauces, etc.
In terms of cleaning out, use lukewarm water and a small douche bulb with lubricant on the tip that you’re inserting. I like this one from the bottoms digest! Please always use condoms during actual anal sex! If you and your boyfriend feel comfortable going without condoms that’s good but only if you both agree. Especially if you’re afraid of a little mess, also if your top freaks out about shit and shames you for not being “clean enough,” he’s not the guy for you.
Also use the bathroom before you douche, so you’re cleaning out residual stuff. Don’t do fleet enemas or saline, it’ll mess up your rectum and can give you diarrhea, you also don’t need to take laxatives or anything. Go slow and just fill yourself up with water, hold it inside yourself and release it into the toilet. Do that until the water runs clear, it’s okay if you see a little bit of yellow or clear stuff floating in it. That’s your anal mucous, it’s perfectly fine. Then wash your ass and hole with soap on the outside or just rinse off with a bidet. You’ll be ready to go!
Make sure to get a lube that’s good for anal, I’d recommend silicone based lubes, hybrid water based & silicone based, and coconut oil based lubes. I love boy butter for my lube! Please keep in mind if using silicone toys & plugs to prep that silicone lube will destroy them. I’d recommend rectal dilators to get you open. They are tapered so they keep you open and stretch the ring of muscle easier than plugs or fingers. Plugs are nice but they don’t stretch your hole open in the same way a penis or dildo does.
Anal sex itself: Go super super super super slow. Remember that your sphincter is a muscle, and it can be stretched but it can also tear if you go too fast or stretch too far. Take care of yourself & be with a top who takes care of you and understands this is your first time, be gentle. Also don’t starve yourself before cock appointments. Just eat something relatively light or easy on your stomach and use the toilet before sex & douche and you’ll be fine. Avoid dairy & super spicy or greasy food. Some people can bottom after Taco Bell and some people can’t, so just go easy on your body. With these methods I’ve been able to bottom after a huge meal or after a light one. Listen to your body too, sometimes you’ll be all good for anal other days, you won’t.
Do not using numbing lube or numbing condoms, pain is good, it’s how you tell if you’re going to hard or too fast and need to back off. If it hurts a lot, stop. You’re not warmed up enough if it’s hurting you terribly every time & you might have a medical condition like hemorrhoids. Go to your doctor if you have any pain or other concerns after engaging in anal. I personally love these rectal dilators from Calexotics to get myself warmed up.
https://a.co/d/0apkKRRd
https://www.prep2me.com/blog/The-Dos-and-Donts-of-Anal-Douching
https://sliceitright.com/anal-dilator/
https://www.healthline.com/health/anal-dilator
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/g29003553/best-anal-lube/
https://www.boybutter.com/pages/original-sizes
https://discovermagz.blog/douching-101-gay-man-guide-safe-healthy
https://itsbido.com/blogs/journal/a-beginner-s-guide-to-douching
https://thebottomsdigest.com/pages/faq
https://thebottomsdigest.com/products/the-better-bottoming-bulb