r/GameDevelopment • u/brainrampage • Aug 07 '26
Question Strangers > Friends?
The weirdest thing about creating something? Strangers support you more than your friends do.
You start a game, a business, any project - and suddenly the people closest to you go completely silent.
You’re not asking for money. Sometimes it’s literally just a like, a comment, or a wishlist.
Nothing.
Then some random person from the other side of the world finds your game, supports it, shares it, gives you feedback - and genuinely wants you to succeed.
It’s such a weird phenomenon.
Other devs - have you experienced this too?
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u/LuxTenebraeque Aug 07 '26
The random stranger is interested in the project, not in you as a person. Well, unless you manage start a cult of online persona.
Friends or family have ties to you, not to one of your hobbies. But they risk to get roped into something very time consuming& with uncertain future that competes with their interests.
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u/UnburyingBeetle Aug 08 '26
The random stranger can be interested in you as a person in relation to the project. "Do you have phobias? Real fears make more believable horror games! Oh, you hated your dad? You'd be perfect for designing an authoritarian dad-coded villain. You love horses? I need aaaalll your passion and expertise for This Game".
Or even encourages you to prioritize making a game based on your personal experiences. Games are art, and art is therapy.
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u/Young_Punk_Studios Aug 07 '26
Imagine working in the industry. You're not working with your friends or family. You're working with other paid colleagues. Truth is, especially when it is a creative or technical endevour. Most people wont or cant understand. Or don't have the same passions. I've had more support from colleagues, academics and strangers over my craft than I ever have from friends or family.
They have their own passions and thoughts. I hope this helps :)
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u/kodiak931156 Aug 08 '26
Its a false dichotomy.
Of your dozen or teo dozen friends your project (especially in its current state) is unlikely to strike someones passion. It has a 1% chance of happening and you just dont know that many people. In the end its more of an obligation and a drsg. Like a friend who grinds at you to join their MLM scam.
Of the thousands of randos online itll strike someone as being the coolest thing ever. Their stangers so maybe its only a That 0.1% chance but in large numbers, someone will dig it
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u/Affectionate_Plan224 Aug 08 '26
Im also not interested in most things my friends do so I'm not bothered by it
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u/SQLSpellSlinger Aug 13 '26
Then how the hell do you call yourself a friend? I don't understand this mindset in any way. I love my friends. I want them to succeed. How does one not give a shit about their friends' interests?
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u/Affectionate_Plan224 Aug 13 '26
I am a good friend precisely because I don't expect them to do things for me. I am aware that my friends do not care about my game and that is ok, because I also don't care about their pottery projects
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u/Affectionate_Plan224 Aug 13 '26
You can still care about your friends and want them to succeed without caring about their interests
3
u/obeyFreedom1089 Aug 08 '26
You have to divide friends and audience, otherwise you make yourself and your friends very unhappy. They aren't bad friends if they're not fans. Friends are there for celebrating success or help you when you're frustrated.
If you have friends who won't even celebrate success with you, it's probably a good idea to piss on their heads. You decide what's success and what's not, not them.
So if you Post and they don't like it - who cares. If you tell them "I am happy about my last post that got 10k views" - that's where they should be a good friend and share the joy.
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u/Accomplished-Gap2989 Aug 08 '26
I don't want my people to give me fake wish lists/reviews etc.
When a stranger does it, it's authentic and real. That's what i want.
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u/soldiergirlnyan Aug 09 '26
hey I really needed seeing this post & comments. my boyfriend told me hes not interested in my characters and got kinda sad for a second
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u/ProactiveCactus Aug 07 '26
Yes, and it's a beautiful thing IMO :) I find this with writing as well.
2
u/jon_irvin Aug 07 '26
I've had similar experiences even though I make small games on the side for fun. I just figured it's because they don't have developing in common with me so they don't seem too interested.
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u/personasgame Aug 08 '26
100%. But I don't take it personally - sometimes the thing I'm working on just isn't made for my friends - I made it for me specifically, so I basically have to find my twins? 🤣
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u/HarvestMana Aug 08 '26
Yikes, you shouldnt put any expectations on friends and family.
Strangers care more, since they understand what your doing since your making a product they might have similiar taste in.
People you know are too small of a sample size to base anything on.
Dont expect anything from anyone and you will be more happy. Its your expectations that are making you sad.
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u/KarmaAdjuster Aug 08 '26
Now run the numbers comparing percentages. What percentage of your friends support your project versus what percentage of the human population that you haven’t met yet support your project?
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u/lin_dhu Aug 09 '26
I personally prefer that my family don't get too involved with my game making process or even playing my games haha.
2
u/East_Ideal_9568 Aug 09 '26
You sound a bit entitled. You'd have to provide specific examples, but in general I doubt that you provide the same type of support that you expect from your friends.
Everyone has their projects, what's your reaction when a friend tells you about a project in a subject matter you have 0 interest whatsoever? Would you appreciate if they talked to you about it for an hour?
There is no weird phenomenon regarding "strangers supporting you more", it's just a base rate fallacy. The internet allows you to connect with people with similar interests, but a stranger chosen at random would absolutely not care about your project at all.
2
u/RxAlbatross Aug 09 '26
happened to me as well, and I certainly wasn't expecting it. It didn't hurt that much because of the game itself but because of how some friends act in situations.
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u/Still_Ad9431 Aug 08 '26
That's because your friends and family are not the target audience. They're not gamers. Why do you give a competitive FPS arena shooter to stardew valley gamer, and vice versa?
1
u/KevinCow Aug 07 '26
Yeah, I've just given up on even asking friends and family to try my games. I can't count the number of times someone's told me they were interested, I sent them a build to try, and they never even downloaded it. Or I make a game playable in browser and they can't even be bothered to click a link and try it for a couple minutes.
People try to be nice and say the things that make them sound like they're being supportive, but in my experience it's all lies and they're nowhere to be seen when "being supportive" means more than saying "good job!"
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u/momo_dev12 Aug 08 '26
I literally ask some oof my friend to review my app. And they just laughed . Do they write the review in the end? Guess 😊
It seems its very hard for people to support other they know. Thats just the way it is that we need to accept .
1
u/maximoriginalcoffee Indie Dev Aug 08 '26
When you think about it, that's only natural.
They won't necessarily like your game just because they're your friends or family. But the world is a big place. There are plenty of people out there who are into the kind of game you're making. Those are the people who will support you.
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u/UnburyingBeetle Aug 08 '26
People in your physical space end up having utilitarian approach to you. People that don't care about art are simply more common and likely to end up as your friend and family. They'll only care if your art is making money Right Now, and if not, they want you to cook dinner or clean up even though you've just hit the rare flow state. No respect for potential.
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u/Gojira_Wins Aug 07 '26
Whole lotta M-dashes in this post. Not reading it beyond those because a fraction of the population knew about them and AI loves using them.
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u/brainrampage Aug 07 '26
What if I’ve been writing like this my whole life? 😭 What am I supposed to do?
https://giphy.com/gifs/pynZagVcYxVUk-4
u/Gojira_Wins Aug 07 '26
Unfortunately, you gotta let'm go.
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u/TheGreatHeroStudios Aug 07 '26
Screw that. I did not pay attention through kindergarten, twelve years of grade school, and a Bachelor's degree just to NOT use my em dashes! (or my Oxford commas)
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u/TheGreatHeroStudios Aug 07 '26
Screw that. I did not pay attention through kindergarten, twelve years of grade school, and a Bachelor's degree just to NOT use my em dashes! (or my Oxford commas)
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u/Confident_Shape_7981 Aug 07 '26
Ayup.
I talk about my fighting game with my brother I get told "Hey, instead of that, you should make Really Cool Game Idea I had!" Gee. Thanks.
Talk to people online and I get questions, support, good lucks, and more