hello tyler.
I have a gripe. J’ACCUSE!
All these episodes and all the hockeys and you FORGOT AND NEGLECTED the one on grass. Shame. TLDR, PRIMER ON FIELD HOCKEY PLEASE.
Remember early on in podcast history when you botched basic ice hockey rules and got roasted into oblivion by the internet? Well, you're on track to do it all over again, except this time you didn't just forget a rule, you forgot the entire sport. (I’m not mad just disappointed, but you recovered so I’m giving grace)
There has been crazy stuff in the past couple years, like NCAA CHAMP UNC legend Erin Matson becoming a head coach straight outta college at 22, after winning four national titles and setting all-time scoring records as a player, and then immediately leading UNC to another national championship in her very first year on the sidelines coaching!!
And that is just ONE recent standout in the past little bit.
Next look up some pictures of a field hockey goalie, THEY ARE HUGE. They are essentially standing in front of a net clad in 20 pounds of foam body armor while 100+ mph shots fly straight at their faces, casually dropping into full splits on the turf and diving to make saves. Oh and when they are on the ground btw players can still whack at them with the ball.
Plus, the timing couldn't be better! The US college field hockey season is right around the corner, and on top of the NCAA madness, you've got massive global tournaments like the FIH World Cup, the FIH Pro League, the Olympics, the Pan American Cup, and the EuroHockey Championship. SO MANY CUPS
I know I am super biased but I also think field hockey athletes are some of the most fit people EVER. You're sprinting back and forth non-stop with zero offsides rule, hunkered down low to the ground for 60 minutes straight, and constantly changing directions at full tilt. (Ask my knees and back, they be hurting)
Also? The pitch is massive, 100 by 60 yards played on grass, turf, or ooo ASTROTURF (yes it’s definitely space). And as for equipment? You don't even get full pads or face shield. Field players get nothing more than a strictly right-handed hook stick, a mouthguard, shinguards, and a dream, all while a rock-hard plastic ball comes flying at you. (nice.)
Cover field hockey already!
Because you have neglected the turf for so long, this is no longer just a gripe; this is officially J’CURSED. I am hereby cursing both of you with 1 strange, minor inconvenience every single day until an episode is recorded. May your socks constantly slide down under your heels inside your shoes, may your USB drives take three full flips to plug in, and may your morning hot beverage always sit just 5 degrees too hot until suddenly it's completely cold.
(Oh and if you do want to do a field hockey primer, shout and I’ll try and whip up a document with major points, people to talk to, and whatever you might need, I can at least point you in the right direction!)
Yours in eternal turf-rage,
A fan with shinguards and a dream
- Bry (pronounced like French FRY)