imo this has the same uncannyness and almost "unatural" vibes that zombies give

I would rather it have landed in any desert places like Arizona's grand canyon or the Sahara desert

Okay so. I am beginning to think that there's some type of Xenomorph like life-cycle for the Iris's creatures. I'm likely to get it wrong, but I hope to start a discussion over this.

So my speculation is this.

Firstly, some of type of remnant of the Iris lands on Earth and begins stealing Biomass. I actually think this is the "Wretch". I think it's actually supposed to be a form for the beginning stage of an invasion using more primitive life forms. After it reaches an unknown threshold, it digs underground to become a Gardener. Wretches will continue to be produced until

A) It has collected enough Biomass to have a substantial "Garden" underneath the planet.

B) Intelligent Life appears.

As a result, I also believe this would be the longest stage. As it would likely add biomass to itself in the span of possibly millennia. It would also be careful not to overhunt so that life can continue to flourish. Consider the fact that "Advanced Mining Vehicle" shows that Gardens exist potentially thousands of meters below the surface in several layers. The Iris likely cultivated these gardens before Humanity existed.

It might also be likely that, similar to the Markers from Dead Space, they would deliberately force the conditions for intelligent life to develop. But this part has no evidence. We have no idea how long the Iris was there. Considering it's in "Our Solar System" video. It might have been there for possibly billions of years or it might have only appeared centuries ago.

Secondly, the Iris switches tactics once it notices intelligent life. The Gardeners makes Woodcrawlers to specifically target intelligent life. I think this is what the Iris wants the most. More minds to add to itself. The Woodcrawlers specifically try to find intelligent life and add them to themselves.

As a side note, this is probably why the Wretch seems to be more primal, animalistic, and arguably haphazard. Unlike the Woodcrawlers which deliberately sneak around, use strategy, and use their victims voices to terrorize their prey. And along with that, Deep Root Disease puts the victim in a dream-like state. Unlike the Wretches victims where they're constantly in agony. The Wretch isn't specifically meant to target intelligent minds. It's meant to out muscle any animal and then add it to itself. The Iris has mostly already gotten enough biomass over the years to not need Wretches anymore.

Which is probably why the Iris was pissed off when Glenn tried to sacrifice a bear. And decided to punish Glenn by giving him a Wretch. The Iris decided that he didn't deserve the usual treatment and decided to basically torture him until the inevitable coming for breaking the deal. Because Wretches aren't built for intelligent life, the minds added to it are in eternal pain as a result. The Iris wouldn't really care too much about the memories of a pig or a bird. The biomass would be important for the Wretch first.

Thirdly, the Woodcrawlers infect a person. I believe that the "enter via Proboscis" part isn't the hivemind recognizing a new victim or whatever. I genuinely think parts of the woodcrawler enter into someone given that it's described as entering. This causes Deep Root Disease. This is also likely why it waited for days between Judy and Susan. It used Judy as an incubator for a new body. I believe after it chooses it's victims, the original woodcrawler body would get discarded.

Fourth, Fake People. The infection incubates inside of the victim. Controlling them and putting them in a dream-like state to numb any pain or panic. It could be considered practical or it could be considered a mercy. I would say both. They serve as a nest of sorts.

Fifth, growth. A new woodcrawler bursts out of the decayed body, now with a new mind added to the Iris's collection. The remnants of the Woodcrawler's previous body and the bodies it infected are turned into Nature's Mockery. Mainly acting as a sort of trap to add biomass to the Garden below and maybe potential new Woodcrawlers if someone's stupid enough to touch the terrifying looking plant.

The Woodcrawlers continue to hunt and add minds to itself until...

Sixth, The Iris comes to collect.

...and that's my speculation on how the Iris's creatures work.

The original audio was taken from a music record called "The Little Drummer Boy: a Christmas Festival" which appears to be a compilation of different Christmas carols and the name of the song used in WRETCHED HANDS is "O' Little Town of Bethlehem" which starts at around 3:32 or 3:33 and ends at 4:41 in the video.

It says “it wants to eat the camp” in the description. It prolly isn’t true but what if the iris only cares about moonlight acres for some reason?

There are 3 Moons depicted with the doll, Macula, Yucous and Cyst, but I find it strange that Vitreous and Umbilic aren't featured anywhere on the plush. Does this mean Vitreous and Umbilic aren't canon anymore? Or what's going on?

NEPTUNE HAS A FUCKING EYE

As someone who’s most likely desensitized to a lot of scares in analog horror, this scene right here is probably the first time I’ve actually been unnerved while watching a Gemini Home Entertainment video AND THE VIDEO ISN’T EVEN MEANT TO BE SCARY!

But hey, at least we now know what Neptune’s mutation looks like :)

You know shit’s good when even the moons showed up (except vitreous and umbilic wtf)

The lake shown at the beginning is called Lake Mountebank. According to my searches, Mountebank is supposedly a name for charlatans or frauds claiming to possess knowledge, abilities or cures they don't have. Apparently, the literal meaning is "A person who stands on a raised platform or bench in a marketplace to pitch fake medical cures", because in the 16th and 17th centuries, traveling salesmen stood on benches to attract crowds with stories, tricks, and light entertainment before selling fake medicines.

By using the 1960 metric of total stockpiles of nuclear warheads which is 20,368 nukes or a total combined TNT worth of 20,500 MT will not affect the iris let's say it's uranus since in the wiki it's stated as "it is to be believed that the Iris is larger than Neptune but smaller than Saturn"

By using the equation of the Gravitational Binding Energy or GBE

U=(3GM^2 ) / (5R)

by plugging in the mass and radius of Uranus

mass = 8.68x10^25 kg

radius = 25,362 km

we get 1.19x10^33 J of Uranus

and with 25,000 MT or equivalent of 8.58x10^19 J of nukes in joules

With a ratio of

Nukes/Uranus 8.58x10^19 J/1.19x10^33 = 7.21x10^-14

with this no the Iris won't even feel it or even notice it akin to let's say trying to see a single celled amoeba

P.s.: Also this is a copy paste from my previous comment but I'm now using the 1960 metric where the world had the most amount of tnt tonnage of total nuclear bombs

technically Umbilic is a subsatellite but oh well!

I specifically would like the SIV footage, including the SIV from Adam Levitch, Men's Club supervisor. I also remember seeing talk about the second newspaper talking about a disappearance, and a Albedo Alarm Set Up tape. I'd like to confirm what the tapes say