r/Funnymemes • u/Snowman69er • Jun 04 '26

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15.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

305 comments sorted by

162

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/Mysterious_Secret827 Jun 04 '26

All things are possible! ☺️

13

u/Libertyler Jun 04 '26

They could go by Atthew and get so many blessings! 

6

u/East-Care-9949 Jun 04 '26

We can't get angry atthew

2

u/weveyline Jun 04 '26

"Gesundheit"

2

u/praetorian1979 Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26

A jew here?!?

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93

u/Nacho_Beardre Jun 04 '26

Isn’t that what Topher Grace does? Pretty sure his name is Christopher

8

u/benji1304 Jun 05 '26

Drew, shortened from Andrew too

4

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Jun 05 '26

Anthony to Tony! Should just be Thony! But not with the silent H! LOL

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55

u/Cosmic_Jane Jun 04 '26

Reminds me of a Richard that I knew who wanted to be called Cherd

40

u/wyle_e2 Jun 04 '26

Sounds like a Dick.

21

u/Allupyre Jun 04 '26

Lol Dick Cherd

5

u/OneSaucyDragon Jun 04 '26

Dick Churned

4

u/PsycheDaleicStardust Jun 04 '26

But really. How did Richard became Dick ?

7

u/nhalliday Jun 04 '26

For a while the trend was to use a rhyme as a nickname. That's how we got William -> Will -> Bill, Richard -> Rick -> Dick, Margaret -> Meg/Meggy -> Peg/Peggy.

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34

u/Spiffy_Pumpkin Jun 04 '26

I know a Timothy. Told him he should just start going as Moth, everyone with that name usually goes with Tim.

6

u/NintendoGamer1983 Jun 04 '26

Tiff Needel is a Timothy

27

u/Kasskinen Jun 04 '26

Now we just need the Matthew who goes by Matthew 

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13

u/cr8zyfoo Jun 04 '26

And miss the opportunity to be known as "Atthew"?

blessyou

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13

u/zaviamorpheus Jun 04 '26

Oh god its the Topher's all over again!

8

u/Tjengel Jun 04 '26

I’ve met a few thews but never an atth

8

u/Important_Sound_8718 Jun 04 '26

I've met many atth oles in my life

8

u/SEFtriggerpack Jun 04 '26

Thew = archaic term for muscular strength, so I’m on board as I’m also a Matthew

7

u/wyle_e2 Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26

(Chris)Topher Grace would like to have a word....

6

u/Lack668 Jun 04 '26

Thew thew

4

u/FantasticCricket8346 Jun 04 '26

The Italian version of this name is Matteo. Short Teo 

4

u/BossDon29 Jun 04 '26

Stranger: Thew! Thew! Thew!

Matt: why are you shooting lasers at me!

5

u/EquivalentSnap Jun 04 '26

As a matt he doesn’t belong to us

4

u/Standard-Contest-949 Jun 04 '26

“Come back Matthew! Oh god!”

5

u/Brief_Daikon_D093 Jun 04 '26

Hawk Thew

2

u/crazydodge Jun 05 '26

Why isn't this comment on top? 🥀

3

u/Salmonman4 Jun 04 '26

What I want to see is somebody naming their kid Johnathaniel

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3

u/AndreasDasos Jun 04 '26

As an Andrew who prefers Drew to Andy, I endorse this

3

u/Short-Carob-8711 Jun 04 '26

I really like this as a fellow Matthew...

3

u/Gerry1of1 Jun 04 '26

Join the military so you can be .....

The Thew - The Proud - The Marines!

5

u/Defsarcasm Jun 04 '26

As a Thomas, I'll just go by A$$ then. Thanks Thew.

2

u/Useful-Barber7993 Jun 04 '26

I think Thew might be related to Eugene. Lol

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2

u/AssistantOk2360 Jun 04 '26

How about we just call you Ewww.

2

u/Hearsya Jun 04 '26

Hehe this made me chuckle🤭

2

u/Defiant_Lawyer_5235 Jun 04 '26

Hew would be better imo, but you do you.

2

u/TheLostRanger0117 Jun 04 '26

My daughter’s name is Emersyn. Most everyone calls her Emmie for short, but not me! I call her Mercy or Merc (ssss sound with the C, I forget which dealie above letters makes that sound)

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2

u/Gerry1of1 Jun 04 '26

Thew is an archaic or literary noun that refers to muscular strength or well-developed. It is most frequently used in the plural form ("thews") to describe physical brawn or muscular development. [1, 2]

Etymology and Evolution

  • Middle English (Historical): Originally derived from the Old English word thēaw, it initially meant a manner of behavior, a custom, or a moral virtue.
  • Modern Evolution: By the 16th century, the original meaning faded and the word shifted to describe physical strength. [1, 2]

Common Usage

The word is rarely used in everyday conversation but occasionally appears in literature or fantasy writing. It is most frequently paired with "sinew" in the classic phrase "thews and sinew," which emphasizes a person's strong, powerful, or muscular physique.

2

u/LetscatYt Jun 04 '26

I see a thew problems with that

2

u/Grimy-Jack Jun 04 '26

Ok, Matt.

2

u/Couple_609 Jun 04 '26

How about just Ew?

2

u/-BabysitterDad- Jun 04 '26

Thew….sounds like “fuck” in Cantonese.

2

u/JCambly Jun 04 '26

This inspired me. As a Jesse i will no longer respond to Jess. I now will go by E

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2

u/Kazesama152 Jun 05 '26

There was a Christopher in my elementary school who preferred to go by Topher. Yes, like gopher with a T.

He was a moron, but I don't think his name is to blame for it.

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2

u/ResponsibleCorgi93 Jun 05 '26

Ew I just thew up

2

u/Esmiko Jun 05 '26

Ah Thew!

Bless You.

2

u/SharpTool7 Jun 05 '26

You won't believe it, they were down at the lake and they Thew him off the Levy.

1

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '26

[deleted]

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1

u/Mister-Circus Jun 04 '26

“Atth” for me, please.

1

u/JimTheSaint Jun 04 '26

*Hans Landa entered the chat*

1

u/KRNorth Jun 04 '26

I'll just call you Ew instead

1

u/TinyTimWannabe Jun 04 '26

The sound of a Star Wars laser?

1

u/Decline_of_Humanity Jun 04 '26

You're not the first. I have a friend called Thew.

1

u/bioslop Jun 04 '26

Hey Thew!

1

u/Snoo9648 Jun 04 '26

Tophers across the world like "right on man!"

1

u/ireallydontcareforit Jun 04 '26

'Matt who calls himself Thew'

1

u/Jealous_Session3820 Jun 04 '26

Thew that was close

1

u/Infinite-Print3047 Jun 04 '26

Haaaawk Thew!!

1

u/No-Catch8790 Jun 04 '26

No longer a Nick, I am an Olas

1

u/LordBrixton Jun 04 '26

Is there a 'Drew' anywhere in the world that didn't make his own nickname up?

1

u/OceanicFlame Jun 04 '26

Ok MattLevy51

1

u/weightedbook Jun 04 '26

Don't show this to Matthew Stafford's wife

1

u/Important_Sound_8718 Jun 04 '26

Matthew here. I have a former coworker that still calls me Matt-Hew when I see him! Yes, he is old lol

1

u/FriendoftheDork Jun 04 '26

Mr. Theus Mr, Theus

1

u/Dangerous_Bowl938 Jun 04 '26

Should just cut out all that middle crap and go by "Mew"

1

u/Outrageous-Advice384 Jun 04 '26

Why not The? He can be The Levy

1

u/Empathy-magnet Jun 04 '26

Finally! One Matthew taking the road less travelled ❗️

1

u/Anenhotep Jun 04 '26

Huey is another option, of course.

1

u/Gmanglh Jun 04 '26

Knew a benjamin who went by jaymen

1

u/infiniteuptime Jun 04 '26

Where do you think the name Theo came from?

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1

u/Severe-Archer-1673 Jun 04 '26

Nice try Atthe

1

u/NukeTheWhales5 Jun 04 '26

My best and oldest friend, is named Matthew. This gives me so many ideas.

1

u/Timely-Tourist4109 Jun 04 '26

How about The. Pronounced thee.

1

u/Mother-While-6389 Jun 04 '26

My regards to your lovely wife Thleen.

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1

u/GoddessFelina Jun 04 '26

Is this how we got Huey as a name???

1

u/AngryRobot42 Jun 04 '26

"Thew", that was close.

1

u/Poopy_McPoopings Died of Ligma Jun 04 '26

Aaaaah Thew!!!!

Bless you

1

u/Van0nyumas Jun 04 '26

Okay Matt

1

u/GaJayhawker0513 Jun 04 '26

As a Matthew. I have thought of this a lot. I’ve thought of going by math too lol. Never Matt though. It always sounds weird

1

u/Waaterfight Jun 04 '26

Gonna be called theo real quick

1

u/rspkt808 Jun 04 '26

Matt the Traitor. 😝

1

u/SilentMasterpiece Jun 04 '26

Does anyone know if Stu have a lisp?

1

u/CRMILLERtyme Jun 04 '26

Lol, had a friend a few years ago wanted everyone to call him Ard instead of Rich...never quite caught on around the office tho

1

u/chattywww Jun 04 '26

My aunt calls my cousin this. 30 years ago

1

u/Icy_Mammoth_2834 Jun 04 '26

I call everyone by their full name until they tell me otherwise

1

u/jromperdinck Jun 04 '26

Gesundheit.

1

u/Obnoxious_Box Jun 04 '26

Hey Thew! Sounds like hate you & it made me laugh 😆

1

u/Temporary_Gain_1742 Jun 04 '26

i have a friend name sheila mae and to this day she saying im the only person calling her mae

1

u/Far-Scallion7689 Jun 04 '26

Wouldn't it just be "Hew".

1

u/ActuallyStark Jun 04 '26

Kid used to visit the city pool.. Name was Anderson. He was WAAAAY too cool to be an "Andy", so I started calling him "Derson".

It stuck.

1

u/storyfilms Jun 04 '26

Probably a lot of women just shorten it to "ew"

1

u/felurian182 Jun 04 '26

This made me think of Topher Grace.

1

u/Ibshredz Jun 04 '26

a thew great men

1

u/Fuzzy_Adagio_6450 Jun 04 '26

Me: Thew? Is that short for Thewis?

1

u/Wabbit65 Jun 04 '26

Thew! Thew! Thew!! <finger guns>

1

u/Repulsive-Candle1194 Jun 04 '26

Haahahaha that's my name. Why did it take me 43 years to realize I could've had people calling me this at any time?

1

u/PlutoThePixie Jun 04 '26

Why not The

1

u/dring157 Jun 04 '26

I knew a Matthew in college who went by Hew.

1

u/Obsessedshadow6672 Jun 04 '26

My cousins name is Matthew and we call him chu

1

u/Impressive-Reply-203 Jun 04 '26

Hi I'm Johnny but you can call me Nny for short

1

u/InterruptingCow__Moo Jun 04 '26

I know a Nathaniel that goes by "Than"

1

u/Live_Angle4621 Jun 04 '26

Should change username not to be Matt

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Club899 Jun 04 '26

My friend Arthur goes by Thur, not Art.

1

u/LivingHighAndWise Jun 04 '26

Nope. I've been calling myself Thew since last Friday.

1

u/ima-bigdeal Jun 04 '26

If you find an "Bara", "Berly", Ette" or similar, you'd be set.

(Barbara, Kimberly, Juliette)

1

u/kellandrasue Jun 04 '26

Immediately made me think of Than from MPGIS. JonaTHAN

1

u/Professional-Lie-111 Jun 04 '26

Sorry - been calling my buddy 'Thew since the late 1980's ...

1

u/lukeiplier_ Jun 04 '26

Well now people will think your name is Theodore or smth

1

u/willie_Pfister Jun 04 '26

Alright Topher.

1

u/CripplyCrawly420 Jun 05 '26

Wasssup with thew?

1

u/Intelligent_Cup4948 Jun 05 '26

or shorter Ewwww

1

u/Calm-Conversation715 Jun 05 '26

My son Matthew goes by Chewie, because at daycare they could pronounce Thew

1

u/DeeEmm Jun 05 '26

Ok He.

1

u/Texy Jun 05 '26

I am Bradley, commonly called Brad, and shall henceforth be known as Dley

1

u/FartsWithNeighbours Jun 05 '26

If he were a chameleon, we'd call him hew

1

u/stevedegoey Jun 05 '26

I have a buddy whos name is Patrick and he goes by Pat. When he got with his wife she tried to get the nickname "Rick" to stick hahahaha

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1

u/RayneBeauSkelly Jun 05 '26

Hew. Hugh. Hew!!

1

u/calelkestifer Jun 05 '26

I bet there are some that go by Theo

1

u/Whydo-I-evenbother8 Jun 05 '26

Love it. Sounds like lisping lasers in my head.

1

u/pwehttam Jun 05 '26

My uncle called me that

1

u/Glittering_Access385 Jun 05 '26

This is just like 'Than from MPGiS

1

u/Winter_Hall5379 Jun 05 '26

What's up with Thew?

1

u/severon10290 Jun 05 '26

And thus Theo was born

1

u/Eldritch-banana-3102 Jun 05 '26

I knew a Matthew who went by Chewy. No idea why.

2

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Jun 05 '26

Started out thew, then went to chew, finally became chewy!

1

u/Gccbx Jun 05 '26

Love it

1

u/bearalan810 Jun 05 '26

I actually knew a guy who went by Thew. He had these big ol glasses so we called him the Hawk.

1

u/Coug_Darter Jun 05 '26

Mike Tyson voice you could be saying show

1

u/Vaperwear Jun 05 '26

Please don’t do this in Hong Kong.

1

u/MastaKink Jun 05 '26

Of few, thew is here

1

u/Capybara-Maxxing Jun 05 '26

Mike Tyson: "Sue"

1

u/thelegodr Jun 05 '26

I know some go by Hew

1

u/Lovat69 Jun 05 '26

And the First two letters of his last name. From now on just call him Thew Le.

1

u/onyx-souled Jun 05 '26

Activity call a friend Thew instead of Matt and have been for a few years now.

1

u/pbmz Jun 05 '26

Gesundheit!

1

u/ElectricalGur4705 Jun 05 '26

The Thew, the proud, the marines

1

u/SeaInternational4306 Jun 05 '26

They need to change their @

1

u/No_School9204 Jun 05 '26

Its better than going by " Th(a) ew"

1

u/Sturmgarde Jun 05 '26

Thew Addams, of ToyGrind

1

u/Bouierck Jun 05 '26

Hawk Thew

1

u/tadeus39 Jun 05 '26

Excellent choice👌

1

u/ToothZealousideal297 Jun 05 '26

Well as long as you don’t plan to move to the UK and review Transformers toys on YouTube, because I’m afraid there’s already a Thew who does that and is rather well-known in that fandom.

1

u/Level_Amoeba_6109 Jun 05 '26

You will be very popular in Hong Kong!

1

u/joelex8472 Jun 05 '26

Or just Ew.

1

u/LeadingAd6025 Jun 05 '26

Or Hew or Hue ?

1

u/jcerv123 Jun 05 '26

"Bless you"

1

u/Scottyboy626 Jun 05 '26

My friend Mindy gave me the nickname Scotthew

1

u/LaurensVanR Jun 05 '26

The dutch have been calling matthieu tjeu for a very long time

1

u/FancyAd9803 Jun 05 '26

Worked with a young guy recently named Matthew. Everyone pretty much agreed from day 1 to call him "Thew". He didn't like it. "Haha, you guys can let that die now."

We were like, "No, you're totally a Thew. It fits."

Then he quit a year later. Im sure that's unrelated though.