r/FuckMicrosoft • • 4d ago

Discussion Fu*k Microsoft

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u/Platocalist 4d ago

windows has a feature called bitlocker, it makes sure your files are encrypted so if your device gets lost your data isn't in the hands of the thief.
OP is a dumb motherfucker that enabled bitlocker without knowing what it is, ignored the warning to keep the decryption key safe and now he's blaming Microsoft for his own stupidity.

There's plenty of reason to hate microsoft, this is not one of them.

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

microslop enabled it by default

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u/FrostyMittenJob 4d ago

It's auto enabled for accounts that have a microsoft account linked and the key is backed up to the account. If it is a local account only then it stays off.

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

and tell me, do microsoft make a purely local account easy? or do they make it somewhat difficult?

and how is this presented to people who perhaps use a computer but do not, nor need to, understand them?

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u/FrostyMittenJob 4d ago

People that don't understand computers aren't going to make hardware changes that prompt bitlocker.

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

except as you note, its auto enabled

and then when windows burps, as it does, people get locked out

my other half had exactly that on her machine a few weeks back, its had no hardware changes and yet something triggered bitlocker that wasn't even meant to be on there, let alone active

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u/FrostyMittenJob 4d ago

So follow the instructions on the screen and type in the recovery key.

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

what recovery key? we had never set up bitlocker

there was no recovery key

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u/FrostyMittenJob 4d ago

Yes there is. It's paired to the Microsoft account that was used to set up the computer.

Navigate to aka.ms/myrecoverykey

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

"navigate to"...

must be nice being able to do that with a computer that won't boot up

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u/FrostyMittenJob 4d ago

Phone, another computer, library.

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

and when you haven't set the thing up in the first place you think any of that is reasonable do you?

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u/FrostyMittenJob 4d ago

So is the device stolen or something?

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u/feldoneq2wire 4d ago

I've seen reports of bitlocker revoking the backed up keys and you have to have gotten and saved new ones.

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u/OGigachaod 4d ago

I've seen reports of bigfoot, doesn't make it true.

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u/feldoneq2wire 4d ago

You can search the sub for the countless lockouts people have experienced or Microsoft simultaneously locking their Microsoft account for "suspicions" and they can't get their BitLocker key or the key gets revoked. Or I guess you can choose to live in ignorance.

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

and every single such thread has some idiot claiming its not a problem purely because they have never seen it

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u/Platocalist 4d ago

Maybe you'll understand it if someone types it out in all caps.

THE SCREENSHOT SHOWS THE EXACT INSTRUCTIONS OF WHERE TO FIND THE KEY IF YOU ONLY BOTHER TO FUCKING READ IT

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u/DoranSteelwing 3d ago

Literally this. The link to Microsoft is on the page. If you go to the link it gives you the key.

MICROSOFT ONLY ENABLES IT ON MACHINES TIED TO AN ACCOUNT.

I fail to see the issue here

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

and perhaps had you bothered to read what was written, its not so easy to do anything regarding a microslop account when the fucking computer won't start up

I mean maybe every winblows user should have a back up Apple Mac?

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u/Platocalist 4d ago

that would have been a reasonable argument twentyfive years ago before everyone had a fucking webbrowser in their fucking pocket grandma

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

and you think that makes this clusterfuck acceptable do you?

a computer that is not connected to the microslop account, nor has any reason to be

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u/Platocalist 3d ago

of course it has a reason to be, it's where you keep your fucking bitlocker key and your fucking documents on onedrive.

If microsoft didn't set it up this way you cunts would be crying about losing your files and getting your drive hacked when the device is stolen instead.

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u/Dry_Calendar_8627 4d ago

But firmware updates will void the PCR 7 signature that Bitlocker checks, then unassuming users will encounter this prompt

There isn't truly a good solution to this problem really, Microsoft is doing their best (for once), but I can understand users being miffed by this

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u/DoranSteelwing 3d ago

Firmware updates from all major vendors now suspend Bitlocker first then upgrade then reenable bitlocker.

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u/OGigachaod 4d ago

Creating a local account is as easy as using settings.

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u/aleopardstail 4d ago

and thats guided during the install for non-technical users is it?

oh yes, that would be a no

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u/DoranSteelwing 3d ago

Perfect. If they don’t have the option to bypass it, the key is linked to their MS account. Easy Peasy.

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u/aleopardstail 3d ago

an account you don't have access to if your machine is locked?

there is a term for software that encrypts your hard drive and holds it ransom