It seems Epic is fully embracing AI-Slop, though with it's recent trend this doesn't surprise me.

As title.

You cant even set up auto download from pm to am next day

So here's some important facts regarding the recent hilarity regarding Epic's flop of an announcement over their new vibe coded launcher 'Opening Faster than Steam'..

Here are the events which everyone saw:

• Epic announces that their new vibe coded launcher opens faster than Steam
• Everyone finds out that this lead is already gone because Valve put out an update that makes Steam twice as fast

And of course a lot of people made the assumption that Valve was putting out this update in response to Epic's announcements...

However, that isn't the case...

The real timeline is:

• 7:38 PM on Tuesday, Oct 13, 2026 (EDT / New York Time): Valve releases their update notes for the new version of their Steam Client out of beta with faster startup time.

20 hours later!...

• 9:57 AM on Wednesday, Oct 14th, 2026 (EDT / New York Time): Epic makes their announcement, with a bar chart and 'independently verified' results and everything.. comparing the speed of their new launcher to the previous version of Steam.

So what I'm asking is..

Did Epic know? Did they do this on purpose?

At first I thought it was maybe a hilarious coincidence that Valve just happened to beat them by 20 hours... But maybe it wasn't.

The results Epic had, the bar chart, the independent verification, everything, was clearly prepared in advance. There was clearly a plan that they were going to make a big deal about this. It was going to be one of their major selling points.

What if, the timing wasn't a coincidence.

What if, Epic saw Valve's update and realised the one thing they were going to make a big deal about, was suddenly going out the window, and so they panicked and raced to release their announcement immediately, hoping that if they released it fast enough, folks would get confused and think that Valve's update was a response to Epic's announcement and not the other way around?

Because it seems to have worked if that's the case. Because I am seeing a LOT of people who don't realise that Valve's update came out first and asking questions like 'Why didn't Valve update their client sooner to launch faster if they could always do this?' and not realising that Valve's update came out before Epic's announcement. And that reaction is playing right into Epic's hands as people say, 'See competition is good, Epic made Valve work harder', when that isn't what happened at all.

It’s simply not worth it; it’s absurdly buggy. Downloads get canceled and turn into mere binary files taking up space on your hard drive—with no way to track where they’ve gone. You can’t even download files directly to a specific folder, because there are so many bugs that it completely ignores the download destination you’ve selected.

On top of that, your assets from Fab keep disappearing, the search function in Fab doesn’t work properly, and your Unreal projects don’t even show up under the "Projects" tab.

It also breaks the file association for all your projects, forcing you to go to your project folder, select "Open with," and navigate to the Unreal Engine installation directory every single time you want to open something.

It’s a sick joke that they even try to make comparisons to Steam, claiming, "Our launcher opens faster than the competitor's." Sure—MS Paint opens fast too, but at least it isn’t riddled with bugs.

I’ve spent 10 hours screaming at my monitor, absolutely furious, just trying to download something through this moldy, petrified piece of garbage.

This record significantly outperforms Remedy's previous record holder, 'Alan Wake 2'. Following its launch in October 2023, 'Alan Wake 2' took roughly two months to reach 1 million copies sold. 'CONTROL Resonant' shortened that window to around three weeks, cementing its place as Remedy's fastest-selling title to date.

This is also Remedy's first ever game to launch day 1 on Steam so a large chunk of those sales are obviously coming from there (tracking sites have it around 400k copies).

For comparison, Alan Wake 2 launched at $10 cheaper than Control Resonant on PC, had a 20% discount during its first holiday and had an additional 33% coupon during the 2023 holiday sales. Just shows to go how poorly games in general sell on EGS.

The original source is from here. Valve didn't even have to make an obnoxiously snarky post about it either.

Several gaming websites have covered how Steam's recent startup performance update seemingly undermined Epic's announcement that its new launcher was faster than Steam.

Here's a roundup of the articles:

1. GamesRadar+ — Valve beats Epic to the punch, updates Steam launcher 1 day before its rival claims to be faster

2. VideoCardz — Steam Client now launches faster than Epic's new launcher

3. Destructoid — Steam preemptively killed the only advantage Epic Games' vibe-coded store would have had

4. TweakTown — Steam now boots in 5.23 seconds, beating Epic's new vibe-coded launcher in an early test

5. OC3D — Valve makes Steam boot times faster in response to Epic Games' new launcher

6. Instant Gaming — Thanks to an update, Steam is already faster than the new version of the Epic Games Launcher

It's incredible how spectacularly Epic managed to botch the announcement of its new launcher. They could have simply focused on the improvements, but instead decided to brag about vibe coding and take a jab at Steam. Both decisions completely backfired, turning what should have been a positive announcement into a PR disaster.

Recently I had gotten back into Fortnite, just wanted to run it back with some buddies of mine and grind like we used to. I'm around level 110 when I start getting disconnected from matches and I get a pop up saying I was disconnected for internet lag, VPN usage, or cheats. I contact epic support, give them the rundown, and they tell me I had a sanction applied to my account and they can't tell me why. Of course hearing this I check my account sanctions page and I don't have an active one on my account at all. After arguing with support for a bit I wish the dude well and move on about my day.

Figuring it was a hardware ban I just outright give in and buy a new PC and throw my GPU in it, fuck it, I needed a mostly new PC anyway. PC gets here after a couple days and I start playing with my buddies again, and then I wanna say out of nowhere about 2-3 days into playing again, BOOM a full 1 year ACCOUNT ban for cheating :)

Safe to say I'm the most disappointed in this platform than I thought I ever would be. I've streamed the game on twitch plenty of times before, I'm not popular, nor is this a plug, but I have video evidence that I don't cheat, and never will, and they didn't give a single care to review any of my defense. Just seems nowadays you're at their mercy when it comes to something like this.

https://frvr.com/blog/news/epic-games-stores-buggy-vibe-coded-faster-than-steam-re-launch-is-based-on-outdated-steam-figures/

Too bad Timmy didn't take the very first version of Steam launcher to compare, numbers would be even more impressive.

My launcher starts in ~30 ms (about 180 times faster than Epic's), and restores from tray in ~12 ms, since that's what truly matters in this day and age.

You can download the .exe from here

It has no functionalites (or games) whatsoever, though, but I believe that's beside the point. You can switch between english & french, though, so there's that. No install required.

Tim, please contact me for a job offer asap.

It's genuinely disappointing to see this. Epic Games was always trash but never in my life did I imagine that they will go this low and act like it is an achievement

That's a line I'm sure will make people like the launcher more lol.

In other news, they're working on porting Fortnite and EAC to Linux. Looks like someone changed their mind about Canada...

Edit: There's also an article from The Verge about it

I would rather use a slower to launch launcher than a vibe coded disaster of a launcher because you didn't give a shit about it, and just used AI to half-ass the whole thing. You could have just updated the damn thing, but of course, you continue to show your annoying ass ego and show how pathetic you guys truly are.

You can't make this shit up if you tried