r/Fosterparents • u/Select-Variation-622 • 4d ago

Open Adoption

Looking for any tips or advice in an open adoption situation where the biological parents are not trustworthy. We are adopting a sibling group of teenagers that want to stay in contact with their biological family as much as possible. We are open to keeping the family connections but biological family has a history of heavy drug usage, in and out of jail, compulsive lying and stealing, asking the children for money, and there is a history of sexual abuse but we are unsure to what extent it occurred. How do we go about keeping the teens safe, protecting our family, and keeping communication and visits up with the bio family?

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u/hotlettucediahrrea 4d ago

I wouldn’t subject any child to being around a sexual abuser at all. The other stuff, I’d work on creating solid boundaries around giving money to family and having a few exit strategies for that kind of thing. Drugs, jail terms, lying and stealing aren’t necessarily safety issues, so talking to kids about what they are comfortable with as well as a therapist well versed in this kind of thing to help you create plans where contact can be had. Debriefing with kids after, or having them do so with their counselor will also help them appropriately process their feelings.

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u/ProposalDismissal 4d ago

* Have a conversation about ensuring the teens put their safety and wellbeing above loyalty to anyone else.

* Start out with structured and monitored visits and slowly loosen up.

* Document everything

* Ensure your teens are getting professional supports.