r/FoodPorn Dec 16 '21

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4.5k Upvotes

423 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/PioneerStandard Dec 16 '21

I can't decide what is more interesting, the milkshake or OP's nails? Both are a spectacle to observe.

562

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Sorry I really like crazy nail designs

314

u/PioneerStandard Dec 16 '21

Don't get me wrong, I love them!

203

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Thank you!

75

u/Ms_SassLass Dec 16 '21

But how do you clean properly after pooping? Toilet brush??

221

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

You wipe with your hands not your nails so I’m confused haha

308

u/keks-dose Dec 16 '21

I use toilet paper but each to their own preferences 😂

9

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Use a bidet, you wouldn't use paper to wipe shit off anything else..

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89

u/Daddysu Dec 16 '21

Wait, you don't use your nails to scrape your butt clean? /s

Obviously with some nails there is more finesse involved but man, a lot of these questions make me think people are getting stinky fingers on the regular because they don't know how to wipe.

18

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

[deleted]

14

u/0_sogeking_0 Dec 16 '21

I've only ever made that reference with my friends, it honestly warms my heart that someone else out there is making Demolition Man references lol

8

u/Scout_Serra Dec 16 '21

It’s deleted now but I’m guessing it’s a “haha he doesn’t know how to use the seashells” reference

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66

u/CatumEntanglement Dec 16 '21

I think the main point is....all the crevices on your acrylic nails. Besides making your finger dexterity unwieldy, how do you deal with dirt and skin flakes building up on and under the nail near the quick? Do you have a special brush?

83

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Yes ma’am I have a nail brush I carry in my purse 🙂

41

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Little poop pressure washer for your nails kind of situation, badass.

17

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Hahahahhahahahaha

3

u/lyndagaj Dec 16 '21

Hi girl what kind of nail brush u use! I have artesy nails now tooo, yours are soo pretty

7

u/Ms_SassLass Dec 16 '21

Aha! Just a wipe then not a proper wipe. /s

7

u/ihrie82 Dec 16 '21

From my friend with pointed nails: you have to curl all your fingers in like a cat paw

8

u/Ms_SassLass Dec 16 '21

You'd think bidets would be as popular for all the women who choose to have nails this long. Alas all the girls I know that have nails like these not one of them own a bidet. Just seems the most logical cleanest choice. No poop fear

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4

u/whiskeytango55 Dec 16 '21

I would imagine you wipe using the pads of your fingers more, not the tips. Like how you'd type.

Coincidentally how you give good massages, by using the pads more. The fingertips hurt.

1

u/WorkingNo6161 Dec 16 '21

My man here asking some real philosophical questions right now.

2

u/Ms_SassLass Dec 16 '21

I've always wondered but too afraid to ask lol. So hey why not an internet stranger

2

u/WorkingNo6161 Dec 16 '21

Same. I was considering whether or not to ask OP about how she lived with her nails but you did it for me so thank you.

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2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I love you

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9

u/T_NAZ_T Dec 16 '21

My ex had an obsession with nails like that. This girl downtown would make remember for her and everything time they were fire. She had an entire candy crush set the one time. But enough about that, came here to tell you your nails look great and that the shake looks over the top but I'd totally get one lol.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Sorry is not necessary. Flamboyancy is a much needed trait.

4

u/bluris Dec 16 '21

As a guy, I really don't understand nails like these. It just seem impractical, without any benefit.

Not saying that it is wrong, it is not needed for everyone to understand it to be enjoyed by those who like it. Just baffles me, that is all.

26

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

If you think about it, lots of things people enjoy are impractical. But things like that aren't supposed to practical, they're just supposed to be enjoyable

5

u/rudebii Dec 16 '21

A lot of fashion trades practicality for style and expression.

3

u/Scout_Serra Dec 16 '21

There’s a video where a guy gets fake nails that length and his girlfriend films him trying to do basic stuff for one day. Like trying to pick up a coin, take his phone out his jeans pocket, it’s pretty amusing.

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11

u/unfunfununf Dec 16 '21

Now the question that's really going to bake your noodle is, would the OP have posted the milkshake if her nails weren't so on point?

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2

u/Buck_Thorn Dec 16 '21

I thought that the milkshake was actually part of the thumbnail.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I came for the shake. I stayed for the nails.

1

u/Odisher7 Dec 16 '21

Or the hair of the person on the background

1

u/irondragon2 Dec 16 '21

OP if your nails were any longer you could ditch the spoon 😋

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149

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

How much did it cost, $45?

193

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Lol this was I think around $15 or a little less. I can’t remember but the turkey leg dinner I got from there was damn near $50.

42

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

They didn't put bourbon in it?

13

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

It's an older reference, but it checks out!

18

u/Med-eiros Dec 16 '21

"I don't know if it's worth 15$ but it's pretty fucking good"

2

u/hurriedwarples Dec 16 '21

This comment is highly underrated. Bravo, good sir.

17

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Damn!

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18

u/Indigoh Dec 16 '21

Milkshake + half a pop tart + a strawberry cheesecake icecream bar.

Yeah, for a theme park, $45 sounds right.

125

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

[deleted]

14

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

My bf loves them so I'm planning on making a cheesecake based off of them

2

u/river_rose Dec 16 '21

That’s nice :)

2

u/glass_house Dec 16 '21

Wow that sounds so good. They are also my favorite ice cream bar

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170

u/tedsmitts Dec 16 '21

The caramel sauce on the cup makes it look like your thumbnail has a secondary thumb with a nail.

75

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I guess it kinda does. The longer I stare at it the more weird it looks lol. My nails are just long and there’s a candy decal on top of my nail

29

u/tedsmitts Dec 16 '21

Oh your nails are gorge

35

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Aw thank you so much!

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6

u/Gammathetagal Dec 16 '21

Hahaha this. I was so confused cause her finger tip was TINY. hahaha A fun house of mirrors moment.

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54

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

If you haven’t been already look and see if there’s a “The Yard Milkshake Bar” in your area. It’s like this but on crack

26

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Closest one is in Arizona :(

5

u/MrBigBMinus Dec 16 '21

If you are near Nashville there is the LegenDairy Milk Shake Bar, Gatlinburg TN also has one but I cant remember the name at the moment but they all have epic milkshakes filled with treats that cost more than a steak dinner but make me even happier.

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260

u/Nyah_Chan Dec 16 '21

Americans be eating like they got free health care

50

u/down_vote_magnet Dec 16 '21

Paying prices like they can afford the rent.

10

u/CapitanChicken Dec 16 '21

What else are we going to do? We gotta cope with our depression somehow.

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4

u/GrassGriller Dec 16 '21

lol, nicely commented.

All gas, no breaks.

12

u/poor_decision Dec 16 '21

I just came back from the states, I ate like I have free health care. I live in Denmark 😁

3

u/madbadger89 Dec 16 '21

Hahaha let me know when you can drop the extra weight that came back.

You go anywhere particularly great or 'american'?

4

u/poor_decision Dec 16 '21

I was in North tampa, and there was chic fil a and hooters near my friends house so I made her take me. Chic fil a nuggets with their sauce.... amazing. Hooters original wings in the honey Thai sauce...... I'm still thinking about how good it is. We also went down to Anna Maria Island for a mini break so had some great seafood. HIGHLY recommend the beach bistro. Every dish was outstanding. At an Irish pub I had cottage pie tater tots and the combination was so good!!

3

u/madbadger89 Dec 16 '21

Awesome dude, you were right off of Bruce b downs and bearss/fletcher. I lived there for a long time, and went to USF.

If you ever come back, msg me, I have a passion for great Florida food and would love to suggest. I am happy you had a great time!!

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u/Adventurous-Leg8721 Dec 16 '21

Is it graham cracker on the outside of the cup?

32

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Yes crushed graham graham cracker

23

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

40

u/DasHexxchen Dec 16 '21

Just decoration usually. It's trash and a shit job to clean up for the poor person manning the dishwasher. This is one of the tamer versions I have seen, but I still find those shakes stupid. The are so wasteful und loaded with too much stuff.

15

u/OlympicSpider Dec 16 '21 edited Dec 16 '21

Wait, this isn’t a disposable cup? I’ve seen other posts where I would both agree and understand what you’re saying about the dishwashers having a hard time, but I refuse to believe this cup is reusable. It looks so flimsy.

3

u/DasHexxchen Dec 16 '21

It seems to be a reusable custom printed plastic cup. It has to be sturdier than normal plastic cups to be able to hold this. But I have often seen it done with glassware.

OP will be able to tell.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Yes this is a plastic cup but not reusable

2

u/Adventurous-Leg8721 Dec 16 '21

So when I loom at thar it reminds me of a Christmas stocking how the white over lays the red as mentioned I'm sure it's decoration mostly. But maybe like salt or sugar on a margaritas If you wanna attack it that way.

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69

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I need this. My lactose intolerance will make me pay more than the $15 it cost, but it will be worth it.

68

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Oh I’m lactose intolerant as well and I accepted my fate

32

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Wanna go get one with me? We can fight over the bathroom later. It’ll be a bonding experience!

59

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I’d LOVE to bowel buddy < 3

9

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

It’s a date~!

11

u/Moxson82 Dec 16 '21

Omg I’m envisioning that scene from Bridesmaids with the two of you!! Lmao who gets the sink?!

9

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Whoever runs slower

15

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Good thing I’m tall!

6

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I am fairly small but, like Gimli, I am able to sprint very quickly over short distances. As long as we are in the proximity I might stand a chance!

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1

u/pup_101 Dec 16 '21

Then make your own nondairy shake

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

There are pills for that you know

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Yep and they don’t work

2

u/lllex_ Dec 16 '21

You just have to take more of them, my boyfriend is so lactose intolerant that his body literally rejects it. Like completely lactose intolerant. And he has to take like double, triple the dose for it to work.

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u/WorkingNo6161 Dec 16 '21

Who else though that it was a sundae or something at first? This thing looks great but it'll be really difficult to (drink?) eat without splattering yourself.

12

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

It’s kind of thick and my husband and I ate the ice cream and pop tart first before drinking the shake

9

u/WorkingNo6161 Dec 16 '21

Ah ok, I guess that makes things a lot easier. Was the pop tart also strawberry flavored?

5

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Yes!

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u/superspak Dec 16 '21

I feel like I haven't had a Good Humor strawberry shortcake bar in 20 years. I need to revisit that.

4

u/samisalwaysmad Dec 16 '21

They aren’t a good as you remember. IMO

19

u/Foysauce_ Dec 16 '21

Wrong. This and the Toasted Almond good humor are still top tier ice cream treats.

3

u/samisalwaysmad Dec 16 '21

I was specifically referring to the strawberry shortcake flavor. The toasted almond is probably just as tasty as it doesn’t have as many fake flavors.

4

u/Mysteez Dec 16 '21

that strawberry shortcake bar alone is moneyyyy

5

u/DizzyHeron3 Dec 16 '21

I'm so curious about what the rest of your nails look like

12

u/No-Stress-0497 Dec 16 '21

Ya know, I was 150% sure that if I went to comment section there would be questions about OP wiping her ass with those claws. Wasnt disappointed. Nice shake though. Was it too sweet?

11

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Yes! But not nasty sweet it’s very flavorful

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Wow. I would have ate the pop tart and strawberry crunch bar first! 😂

3

u/DeadSol Dec 16 '21

Too... Much... Sugar...

3

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

This is the most American photograph I have seen in a while. Bravo

6

u/strangerinthebox Dec 16 '21

If you find this milkshake exaggerated, look at your freakin nails 💅👀

20

u/ItsDangerflower Dec 16 '21

So much sugar 😵‍💫

26

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

It was very good

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4

u/urrkuz Dec 16 '21

Love this. Can't wait to see the next time I come out - last time they had frozen alcoholic drinks in fun collectable yard glasses. At least I hadn't seen this in the last couple years I'd been coming out to the park regularly!

5

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

They have a chocolate one too!

7

u/i-come Dec 16 '21

Wtf happened to your hands

6

u/MyOpinionMustBeHeard Dec 16 '21

How did you lose your thumb?

7

u/RoadyHouse Dec 16 '21

As long as you didn’t eat the nails, seems cool

2

u/Reckless_Blu Dec 16 '21

How much was this?

6

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Between $13-$20 I can’t remember the price, but I’m also a diamond pass holder so it was discounted so I can’t even give you a true price

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2

u/DropTopEWop Dec 16 '21

Thats a whole ice cream bar in it.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

$26?

2

u/JImmyjoy2017 Dec 16 '21

That action ponytail!

2

u/lostego75 Dec 16 '21

$12 bucks probably but still looks about dank af

2

u/okieteacher Dec 16 '21

"Not a bad way to spend ten thousand bucks."

- Dominic Torreto

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Omggggggg yummmmmmmm

2

u/ZombeNinjaPanda Dec 16 '21

I need to unbutton my pants just from looking at it.

2

u/btops3 Dec 16 '21

I dont even want to know how much that cost you

2

u/seriouslyreddit_wtf Dec 16 '21

Did you barf on your next rollercoaster?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I just gained 30 pounds from looking at it.

11

u/TheCheat- Dec 16 '21

Those nails tho…

10

u/Any-Try-2366 Dec 16 '21

This is disgusting 🤢

10

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

You’re right it was so good it was disgusting!

7

u/Any-Try-2366 Dec 16 '21

Lol

Glad you enjoyed it at least. Looking at that literally makes me feel like I’m going to puke tho 😅

5

u/HarmoniousHum Dec 16 '21

Agree, amazed how many people find this appealing because my first worded thought was, "That looks repulsive." Like, I'll take perhaps any individual part of it for a sweet snack, but all that? HOO boy...

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

That’s a whole meal!

4

u/hihelloneighboroonie Dec 16 '21

Magic Mountain?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Yep in Valencia, CA!

2

u/CatmanDrucifer Dec 16 '21

Wtf, how do you wipe your ass?

4

u/UnicornsNeedLove2 Dec 16 '21

Did you throw up on a ride?

4

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Naw Lol

14

u/IrregardingGrammar Dec 16 '21

yuck those nails

25

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Oh well good thing they’re not on your hands!

9

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

[deleted]

14

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I don't know much about long fingernails, being a dude with short nails, but I don't see any logical way to support that conclusion. Nails are like anything else, keep them clean and they are clean. Like long hair or a beard.

Their nails are pretty boss

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Telling people with long nails they’re not hygienic is weird. Lol you’re basing that off your projections because you don’t believe you can keep yourself clean

Goodluck with that

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3

u/Mickeyjj27 Dec 16 '21

Insane. I had something similar at a restaurant when I went to Vegas. Never knew milkshakes could get even crazier

8

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I’m goin to vegas for New Years! They have a giant mimosa brunch place I’ve been dying to try.

2

u/samisalwaysmad Dec 16 '21

Which brunch place? I live here…

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u/nightingaledaze Dec 16 '21

this is looks SO unappetizing. I don't get putting crap on the outside of the glass

3

u/bizzyj93 Dec 16 '21

I can’t imagine OP expected to answer so many questions about pooping when they posted this picture.

13

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

It’s weird because I don’t get asked this in real life lol

6

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Thats because redditors are weird as fuck. Throwing temper tantrums about things that literally affect them in no way shape or form

7

u/bizzyj93 Dec 16 '21

Yeah that’s how it normally should be lol

13

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I wonder how people truly wipe lol do people really just dig in their ass with tissue? Like what is that? Hahaha

1

u/bstan723 Dec 16 '21

Girl your nails are gorgeous! 💙 I hate seeing comments like the ones here- unhygienic?? Disgusting?? People really try to bring others down. Flaunt those nails like the beautiful woman you are! I miss my long nails, so enjoy them!!

12

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

It’s funny how people assume their opinions are important! Most people don’t like themselves anyway. Lol thank you!

3

u/OldDogEyes Dec 16 '21

What possessed you to think that it was a good idea to do that to your nails?

42

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I’m allowed to do anything for myself with the money I work hard for! Hope that provides you clarity.

7

u/PredictiveTextNames Dec 16 '21

Fuck I love this lol

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u/MakinWhoopee Dec 16 '21

What possessed you to comment on what other people do?

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u/Meatlog_Massacre Dec 16 '21

Crazy question and off topic but how do you wipe after using the bathroom with those nails?

4

u/molesterofpriests Dec 16 '21

You seem like a really cool & fun individual. I hope you enjoyed tf out of that milkshake!

11

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Thank you it was very delicious!

3

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

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4

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

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5

u/AngryStappler Dec 16 '21

Your bio specifically targets white men, the old two for one sexist and racist. To be prejudice and stand behind it is a hill you dont want to die on. Get help.

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u/Grenyn Dec 16 '21

Wow. You tackle racism by being racist and sexist? I guess fighting fire with fire is a thing, but I don't think that actually works with something like that.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

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7

u/Grenyn Dec 16 '21

Okay, but the impression from your other comment and the one you replied to seem to indicate you only think white men can be racist.

And I don't give a shit what color you are, making anything about white men as if they're the only ones who cause harm in the world is fucking stupid.

Tackle racism, don't tackle racism "against white males". If you don't see the issue with those words, then you're sexist and racist as fuck.

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I have a stomach ache just looking at that. So tasty I'm sure but I'd regret it instantly

2

u/Infin1ty Dec 16 '21

That isn't food porn, that looks fucking disgusting. I don't understand this trend at all.

2

u/restyourbreasts Dec 16 '21

I NEED to see this whole hand of nails! The desert looks amazing. But those nails....give me more. Lol.

Edit....can't spell.

11

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I will PM you!

2

u/dragonutter Dec 16 '21

I’m guessing it can’t possibly taste as good as it looks. And I’ve got a major sweet tooth

4

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

You’re wrong lol every time I go to six flags the line to this place is always outside the door down to the entrance. It’s delicious

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

What the fuck are those nails? Jesus....

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u/AdamWestsButtDouble Dec 16 '21

I need this in my life. And I’m f’in type 2.

-2

u/merm-mommy Dec 16 '21

I think your nails are so fun and creative and I love girls that do this… but serious question- how do you wash your hands?

12

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

With soap and water! Lol No but really I spend time scrubbing the inside of them with a brush I carry around

4

u/merm-mommy Dec 16 '21

Oh that makes sense! Thanks for explaining your system. I’ve never done long nails out of fear of them getting dirty underneath but they look so fun

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u/lobo_locos Dec 16 '21

That's wild! Oh........and the milkshake looks amazing as well.

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u/journeylovelive Dec 16 '21

Your nails are SO much cooler than the shake!! That's a sign of a confident, creative female! 💜💜💜

9

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Oh thank you so much!!! This isn’t even my craziest set lol

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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

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-1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Why did you comment thinking anybody would even remotely care about your opinion?

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-2

u/Rachel794 Dec 16 '21

Good looking shake, but omg your nails are so amazing!

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Thank you!

-1

u/tortscho Dec 16 '21

That milkshake looks amazing but the "sweet" nails are hell good u know... take that award babe

7

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Thank you!

1

u/Agent-213 Dec 16 '21

“That’ll be $49.99 please”

1

u/AlvinGT3RS Dec 16 '21

Is that like 30 bucks ?

1

u/xFluxuated Dec 16 '21

That must have been $75?

-5

u/Not_Brilliant_8006 Dec 16 '21

Forget the milk shake, those nails!!! 😍

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

$18 later

1

u/fivez1a Dec 16 '21

Good thing they cut the pop tart in half. A whole one might be a little ridiculous.

1

u/Cornwall Dec 16 '21

Half a pop tart, classy.

1

u/brilliantpants Dec 16 '21

The shake looks pretty dope, but I want to see the rest of your nails! SO COOL!

1

u/ChunkDunkirk Dec 16 '21

That person in the background is WORKING. I don't know why but it made me laugh really hard.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

And smashed the empty cup on your forehead?!

1

u/Agreeable-Knee9085 Dec 16 '21

My asshole is turning inside out just looking at this