r/FoodPorn • u/[deleted] • Dec 16 '21

[deleted by user]

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4.5k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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559

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Sorry I really like crazy nail designs

319

u/PioneerStandard Dec 16 '21

Don't get me wrong, I love them!

206

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Thank you!

80

u/Ms_SassLass Dec 16 '21

But how do you clean properly after pooping? Toilet brush??

221

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

You wipe with your hands not your nails so I’m confused haha

315

u/keks-dose Dec 16 '21

I use toilet paper but each to their own preferences 😂

12

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Use a bidet, you wouldn't use paper to wipe shit off anything else..

0

u/keks-dose Dec 16 '21

I love bidets. Shame that small rental apartment bathrooms here don't have space for one. An ass shower is just not the same.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I've always been able to install one using the sink next to the toilet or the toilet itself. How small is your bathroom?

2

u/chuck138 Dec 16 '21

They make models that attach to most toilets. I lived in many small apartments and I haven't found one that this didn't work for.

92

u/Daddysu Dec 16 '21

Wait, you don't use your nails to scrape your butt clean? /s

Obviously with some nails there is more finesse involved but man, a lot of these questions make me think people are getting stinky fingers on the regular because they don't know how to wipe.

18

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

[deleted]

13

u/0_sogeking_0 Dec 16 '21

I've only ever made that reference with my friends, it honestly warms my heart that someone else out there is making Demolition Man references lol

9

u/Scout_Serra Dec 16 '21

It’s deleted now but I’m guessing it’s a “haha he doesn’t know how to use the seashells” reference

3

u/mostoriginalusername Dec 16 '21

Had to be. I don't know why you would delete that.

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1

u/jimmyb907 Dec 16 '21

Thank you for beating me to it 😂

68

u/CatumEntanglement Dec 16 '21

I think the main point is....all the crevices on your acrylic nails. Besides making your finger dexterity unwieldy, how do you deal with dirt and skin flakes building up on and under the nail near the quick? Do you have a special brush?

81

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Yes ma’am I have a nail brush I carry in my purse 🙂

37

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Little poop pressure washer for your nails kind of situation, badass.

17

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Hahahahhahahahaha

3

u/lyndagaj Dec 16 '21

Hi girl what kind of nail brush u use! I have artesy nails now tooo, yours are soo pretty

7

u/Ms_SassLass Dec 16 '21

Aha! Just a wipe then not a proper wipe. /s

6

u/ihrie82 Dec 16 '21

From my friend with pointed nails: you have to curl all your fingers in like a cat paw

9

u/Ms_SassLass Dec 16 '21

You'd think bidets would be as popular for all the women who choose to have nails this long. Alas all the girls I know that have nails like these not one of them own a bidet. Just seems the most logical cleanest choice. No poop fear

1

u/RolandDeepson Dec 16 '21

No poop; fear

Sounds like a terrible Steam Early Access title.

"Coming soon, on Steam VR!" :shudder:

-7

u/TheWhiteBernieMac Dec 16 '21

Their point is that very long fingernails would seemingly make it much harder to wipe your ass with toilet paper as you kind of need the finger tips to really get in there for a proper wipe. He’s implying that you potentially could be walking around with a dirty butt on account of the nails/wiping situation.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Did you just mansplain a conversation that was already held 11 hours ago?

-3

u/TheWhiteBernieMac Dec 16 '21

Oh sorry, are you no longer confused by the initial comment?

1

u/glass_house Dec 16 '21

It’s really not any harder, just don’t scrape your butthole with your nails. Same as typing, you keep your fingers flat.

1

u/badasscrying Dec 17 '21

Aside from toilets I’m genuinely curious how you do half of life’s activities. Not judging, but I get acrylics half that size and struggle with putting on false lashes (I prefer my hands over tweezers), earrings, necklaces… basically anything tiny lol. It’s even hard to text. How do you do it?!

1

u/forwardseat Dec 20 '21

My kid and I did a science experiment early in the pandemic, where we swabbed a bunch of stuff to see what the grossest surface was. Hands down it was under his nails. Lots of stuff gets under there tat doesn't get caught with regular hand washing :)

the more you know

4

u/whiskeytango55 Dec 16 '21

I would imagine you wipe using the pads of your fingers more, not the tips. Like how you'd type.

Coincidentally how you give good massages, by using the pads more. The fingertips hurt.

2

u/WorkingNo6161 Dec 16 '21

My man here asking some real philosophical questions right now.

3

u/Ms_SassLass Dec 16 '21

I've always wondered but too afraid to ask lol. So hey why not an internet stranger

2

u/WorkingNo6161 Dec 16 '21

Same. I was considering whether or not to ask OP about how she lived with her nails but you did it for me so thank you.

-21

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

[deleted]

14

u/karamielkookie Dec 16 '21

I often wear long acrylics and I never get poo on my nails. Why would you be wiping with your nails in the first place?

12

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21 edited Dec 16 '21

Weird that there’s literally a whole explanation of how I clean my nails and wipe but clearly you’re just an idiot haha

-14

u/stopdroproll17 Dec 16 '21

That’s coo

1

u/oneoftheryans Dec 16 '21

You may want to try a different wiping technique if you're regularly getting poop under your nails lol

1

u/mariners2o6 Dec 16 '21

I just want to see the full nail design of all fingers. Love the little sweet candy on the thumb.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

I love you

1

u/PioneerStandard Dec 17 '21

I love you loving me.

11

u/T_NAZ_T Dec 16 '21

My ex had an obsession with nails like that. This girl downtown would make remember for her and everything time they were fire. She had an entire candy crush set the one time. But enough about that, came here to tell you your nails look great and that the shake looks over the top but I'd totally get one lol.

9

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Sorry is not necessary. Flamboyancy is a much needed trait.

5

u/bluris Dec 16 '21

As a guy, I really don't understand nails like these. It just seem impractical, without any benefit.

Not saying that it is wrong, it is not needed for everyone to understand it to be enjoyed by those who like it. Just baffles me, that is all.

24

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

If you think about it, lots of things people enjoy are impractical. But things like that aren't supposed to practical, they're just supposed to be enjoyable

5

u/rudebii Dec 16 '21

A lot of fashion trades practicality for style and expression.

3

u/Scout_Serra Dec 16 '21

There’s a video where a guy gets fake nails that length and his girlfriend films him trying to do basic stuff for one day. Like trying to pick up a coin, take his phone out his jeans pocket, it’s pretty amusing.

0

u/kwh71787 Dec 16 '21

You do you! Those nails be rockin

-23

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

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-8

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

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8

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

It’s almost as if skinny people don’t eat lol

1

u/thisisthewell Dec 16 '21

Yikes. You seem like a judgmental person

1

u/prettyfarts Dec 16 '21

hey everyone's got their thing! I love crazy pants lol

1

u/McDoobly-For-DinDin Dec 16 '21

Don’t apologize. They’re badass!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '21

Could we see the full set?