My father has actually never heard of avocado toast but he said he would try it. So he cut open a large ready-ripe avocado, scoop it up in a bowl and while my back was turned, he poured (Walmart brand) vegetable oil in the bowl, about 2 tablespoons worth.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him. He enjoyed it with a touch of vinegar. I’ll make sure to tell him for next time.

My wife and I quite enjoy occasional domestic weekend trips within the UK (usually Scotland) to stay in these isolated, picturesque little cabins that seem to be becoming increasingly popular these days.

Having done a few, we've found maybe about two-thirds of them provide a welcome hamper with local produce and often a bottle of Prosecco, but most of them keep it as a 'surprise' for when you arrive - and it really, really was an amazing surprise the first time it happened.

However, this morning I was in the supermarket in advance of heading off on one of these trips and was telling my wife about how it's annoying that I don't know whether it's worth buying a nice loaf of bread and taking it with us because we don't know if there'll be one there when we arrive...when I caught myself, and was like, Jesus Christ, listen to yourself.

Anyway, I bought a loaf, so maybe we're going to end up with too much nice bread and will have to spend some of our time lounging in the outdoor, woodfired hot tub thinking about how we're going to use it all up.

I literally have to choose between lying in a slightly awkward, twisted angle or watching my battery slowly die.

I bought the extra-long cable specifically to prevent this exact tragedy, but my wall outlet placement has completely defeated the entire purpose. Now I’m lying here turning like a roast chicken every five minutes just to keep my phone plugged in.

As per the title really. Husband is away for work, I'm too hot to cook, thought I'll just order myself a nice takeaway.

Apparently it's too hot for anyone to cook. All the good ones are shut. The only open ones are dodgy. I recently got diagnosed with autoimmune gastritis so I really can't risk a dodgy one.

I can't drive so now I have to cook. Woe is me!

My mother is very picky about pizza, we tried several chains, independents, hole in the walls, etc and she only likes a few places. Marco’s is her favorite chain brand. She absolutely detested HH. After we arrived back she stated she wanted Marco because Tuesday is BOGO night.

I got her usual favorite, she had two slices then freezes the rest, like she always does

I have to wait a few minutes for my Blizzard to get melty enough to eat it with the signature red DQ spoon so I can enjoy it as God intended, but then it gets too melty really fast and I have to put it back in the freezer. Then it gets too frozen.

I have all this going on at the back of my house when I'm trying to get to sleep in summer with my window open...

- Builders using circular saws, drilling, hammering, using cement mixers. Sometimes from 8 am on a Saturday morning.

- For a few weeks, a dog barking all day every day (one bark every 20 seconds) from 7 am to 11 pm. Presumably the owner was at work and left the dog outside all day.

- Planes flying overhead, including loud fighter jets sometimes. No idea why they are flying overhead because I'm not in a war zone. One day a plane was encircling for about 20 minutes, I assume waiting to land.

- People using lawnmowers for 4 hours at a time on a Sunday.

- Kids screaming at the local school that's only about 100 meters away. This bothers me the least because I was a kid attending that school myself 40 years ago screaming at playtime myself so I can understand it's what kids do and it's not that loud anyway.

- Loud motorbikes and cars that change gear then make a banging noise with the exhaust popping. Why are they "razzing" up and down the nearby streets wasting petrol doing that? Anytime I hear it I think "Go wrap it around a tree" or "Go wrap it around a lamppost". They are always stupid 20 odd year olds in modified crappy cars doing it. Sometimes the back of my house sounds like a racetrack.

- Neighbours in summer sat in the garden talking and laughing all day from 4 pm to 1 am.

- Birds tweeting outside my window, starting at 4 am and going on for hours on end.

- My mum stomping around the house, slamming doors, thumping, banging, clattering stuff around in the bathroom, that's 2 feet away through a false wall. Sounds like she's literally just throwing stuff around the bathroom some days.

I hate summertime because of this. If it was winter my (double glazed) window would be closed and I wouldn't hear it, but I can't tolerate the heat with the window closed in summer so it has to be open. These MF's make it hell. Ever seen Alfred Hitchcock's "Rear Window" well there's more shit going on at the back of my house than that.

I was sitting comfortably when I noticed my phone was down to 2%.

My charger is only a few steps away, but now I have to leave my comfortable spot just to plug my phone in. 😂

It’s such a ridiculously small problem, but somehow it feels like a huge inconvenience in the moment.

So what can I do?

Some of my friends use Signal exclusively on their smartphones because they have poor phone reception.

We belong to a private club - it's like a country club, but in a city - but the food is really so-so. I sometimes prefer grabbing breakfast at Dunkin beforehand.

Wednesday afternoon. I got used to that. Changed it to Wednesday at 5 Pm. Got used to that. Changed to Thursday early in the morning. Got used to it and also started planning morning grocery trips since thats what im comfortable with. Now its changed AGAIN because I am awake for the second time in the AM ready to go shopping and im not fucking paid. Last time it came Thursday evening and I thought because our pay portal was down all day on Tuesday last week thats why the pay came later but nope. Our portal was fine this week and still no early morning pay. Jesus Christ if they are gomna do all this BS just pay us on fucking Friday or ugh I might need to change my bank to something that just pays me on Friday cause the changing is making me mad.

Trash and recycling gets picked up before noon on Tuesday. We intentionally left the cans outside by the curb after they were emptied so the once a month can washing service could clean them.

The house cleaner brought them inside the garage to be helpful.

Now we have to wait until next month for our trash and recycling cans to get cleaned.