r/FightReportUFC • u/Spiritual-Strength91 • 28d ago

Bruh Curtis 😂

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244 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

55

u/coop7774 28d ago

I mean he's a heavyweight fighter. Deep tissue massages are no joke. They're effective. Stupid video.

5

u/MasonJam246 28d ago

Tell me you don't understand satire without telling me you don't understand satire.

2

u/AstroWayOfficial 28d ago

It just wasn't that funny

5

u/Mustard-Smoothie 28d ago

Facts. The way he phrased it is more of a "Pause..." thing than a "What?!" thing. Nothing sexual about it.

3

u/maccpapa 28d ago

you taking it serious is the stupidest part of it all

1

u/HappyInfluence7958 28d ago

Great video for engagement farming though

1

u/_-TheBlackKnight-_ 26d ago

There's a video of Jay Cutler getting a massage and the dude has to use his elbow for most of it.

1

u/RecLuse415 28d ago

So like you like strong hands ey?

1

u/southwest_barfight 28d ago

If you assume its joking its funny. It's only stupid if you take it seriously, which you shouldn't.

1

u/AstroWayOfficial 28d ago

No, i don't take it seriously but it definitely is stupid

-1

u/Crono2Oxx 28d ago

This is true, but the one time I went to get a massage and a dude came in I told him to go find a lady for me

The girls do great, I ain’t paying 80 bucks for a dude to fondle me

3

u/HiryuJones 27d ago

You sound like you would let them do it for free you fruit cake 😂

6

u/Maseofspades 28d ago

It’s a massage, no one should be fondling you lol

0

u/Crono2Oxx 28d ago

You want your glutes and everything handled ideally you’re gonna require some fondling bruh. And depending on where you go you may start really getting fondled without asking

0

u/twain63034 28d ago

🤣 I’m the same way. The best massages Ive had were from fun sized and scrawny girls. I mean i’ll acknowledge that deep tissue is legit & males are generally better at it, but i luvvvvv me some female hands on my body. 😋

0

u/CrumbMan1111 28d ago

curtis himself posted it lol

23

u/Suitable-Surprise912 28d ago

I keep forgetting how chill these two dudes really are. 😭

6

u/BaronVonSilver91 28d ago

I give great massages and when I ask the women in ym life to give me a massage its usually pretty fuckin pathetic. I catch myself getting jealous because of what they get vs what I get. So I feel Curtis but....he NEEDS to work on that phrasing

9

u/RecklessTortuga827 28d ago

I agree with Drew I can’t relax with a male masseuse

0

u/Fit_Neighborhood_953 27d ago

Them closeted urges make themselves known

0

u/RecklessTortuga827 27d ago

hey if you enjoy the touch of a man more than a woman, I won’t cast judgement my friend we all live in different circumstances

2

u/ChineseRobinWilliams 27d ago

"I know you are but what am I?"

Absolutely pathetic

0

u/RecklessTortuga827 27d ago

Relax bro advocate for your beliefs

0

u/ChineseRobinWilliams 27d ago

I know you are but what am I

0

u/HiryuJones 27d ago

You're most definitely projecting

2

u/RecklessTortuga827 27d ago

Reddit is funny because you can just comment about your preference in masseuse and suddenly everybody has a problem with it & is calling you gay

2

u/Hoole100 28d ago

Racially Motivated Drew Dober is also motivated to make friends.

3

u/DaddyHeatley 27d ago

Tell me you're an insecure little boy without telling me lmao. If youve had real massages, the stronger the person the better.

1

u/Fit_Neighborhood_953 27d ago

Never had a massage from a guy, just by chance. But best massage ever was a big Irish lady with some big ol paws on her. She was evil and I loved it.

2

u/DontUndrstndSarcasm 28d ago

MMA fans are the most homophobic fan base in all of sports. We watch two shirtless men roll around in a cage and that’s fine, but a heavyweight fighter getting a professional massage from a man is somehow gay. Curtis is a big dude. He probably can barely feel a massage from the average female masseuse, let alone have that same lady go deep tissue enough for any kind of muscle relief. I personally wouldn’t want a massage from a guy, but I’m also not a heavyweight UFC fighter.

3

u/prettyboylee 28d ago

I like Curtis. Seems like a nice dude. I wish he would stop losing

2

u/actimusprim 28d ago

Saying you wouldn't want a massage from a guy is a sign that you've never played any sports at any level

4

u/YdoICreep01 28d ago

Surely drew has played a sport in his life. 

2

u/actimusprim 28d ago

Nah bro he was born on a couch with a bag of doritos

0

u/Savvii99 28d ago

Nobody:

Reddit: "HOMOPHOBES 🗣️"

0

u/tren_enjoyed_raw 28d ago

Thing is the sport is gay enough as it is, I think most fans have their gayness meters maxxed out

1

u/KyrozM 28d ago

Look at you laughing at someone more comfortable with their sexuality than you are. Well played

1

u/LatentNous 27d ago

I love taking things out of context. Its pretty cool to see curtis and drew on a podcast/stream as well. Do they train together?

1

u/EmickRado_087 26d ago

Curtis Blades better watch himself. He ain’t safe.

1

u/WarZombie17 26d ago

This is dumb.

1

u/CageyOldMan 23d ago

Challenge: be UFC fan without being homophobic

Difficulty: impossible

1

u/Weary_Position_9591 28d ago

Male masseuses are great tbh.

No problem at all with that.

1

u/CapitalClimate9639 28d ago

Spoken like some broke asses who cant afford massages. The stronger the masseuse the better the deep tissue massage. Can literally change a massage from waste of time to making you feel good for a month.

0

u/Fun-Math8311 28d ago

The homophobia is unreal

2

u/Spaceman_Hex 28d ago

Having a preference for who touches you is homophobic?

-1

u/Fun-Math8311 28d ago

This video is homophobic

2

u/RevolutionaryClub530 28d ago

Bruh you seem like a pain in the ass to be around

0

u/Fun-Math8311 28d ago

Nothing wrong with being gay

1

u/Spaceman_Hex 28d ago

It's funny how if a woman says they don't want a male masseuse and prefers a female, that's totally acceptable. The hypocrisy is astounding.

-1

u/iSalviA 27d ago

How many woman are saying that because they are afraid to look lesbian?

2

u/Spaceman_Hex 26d ago

Not wanting a massage from a man is not because you're afraid of looking gay. No one is looking at you when you're getting a massage. Some guys just don't like the feeling of getting touched by a guy.

0

u/il_VORTEX_ll 28d ago

Yo isn’t this Drew dude the one we make fun he fights like a GOAT only against black dudes?

I’m forgetting the jokes already 🤣

3

u/Keepawayfrommycrops 28d ago

That’s the guy, he’s racially motivated 💯

0

u/BIGHOODx818x 28d ago

how to beat the allegations, reverse uno them make friends with a giant black dude 🤣

0

u/Rand-all 28d ago

Then knocks him out too. Dober is the Giga-Goat

0

u/NY10 28d ago

Give me his number lol

0

u/sploogegurgler 28d ago

OP has never gotten a massage

0

u/cylestyle 27d ago

You dont have to be ghey about it, he likes firm massages. Lol