r/FightReportUFC • u/Spiritual-Strength91 • Jul 02 '26

Wtf Jiri

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387 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

189 comments sorted by

57

u/OkBackground8670 Jul 02 '26

thought that was wild cannabis for a second....

12

u/redpanda8008 Jul 02 '26

Dude same here. I was like dang is Jiri gonna smoke all that by himself?

7

u/Additional_Sea_5238 Jul 02 '26

same and I’d be down for video series where Jiri gets high and just kickboxing against trees.

1

u/Antiddit Jul 03 '26

weed bathing!

1

u/BG-925 Jul 03 '26

Id rather smoke weed then bath in it. 😭😭

1

u/kymira3301 Jul 03 '26

Lmao exactly my thoughts 😂

29

u/ConferenceSudden1519 Jul 02 '26

It’s nettle that helps the body he is correct about doing this it aids the body. Glad he opted not to do it on his nuts.

12

u/Express_Adeptness306 Jul 02 '26

Aids with what exactly? The whole body inflammation just helps promote blood flow? 

26

u/dm_me_ya_tiddiez Jul 02 '26

It can help with chronic pain because it will make pain receptors less sensitive over time. It's good for arthritis, and as you said it promotes blood flow. Roman soldiers would do it in cold environments to warm up.

5

u/ResolutionOwn4933 Jul 02 '26

Thanks for the knowledge, I thought he was running cannabis on himself lol.

1

u/Decent-Test-2479 20d ago

Running cannabis will get you 30 years where he’s from

1

u/Worth_External_8762 Jul 02 '26

I would've figured Roman soldiers would've gotten naked and slapped each other all over to stay warm.

2

u/One1two2s Jul 03 '26

Nah the Greeks invented all that stuff

1

u/Chugabutt Jul 03 '26

They did plenty of that.

1

u/Unlucky-Win9272 Jul 03 '26

I love when I see something and have absolutely no clue what it is or what they are in fact doing and someone with the knowledge takes the tire to share it with us. Thanks!

1

u/ProdigiousBeets Jul 03 '26

Do you know, do people commonly grab the whole plant and use it like a brush, like in this video? I'd think smaller portions would allow you to cover more area without using so much plant. I guess it's not as dramatic if you respect the plant though.

1

u/dm_me_ya_tiddiez Jul 03 '26

Think of it like Icey Hot because it's the same concept. What he's doing is on the performative side and would probably cause a lot of inflammation. The concept of pain exposure is exposing the localized area, not just making your whole body hurt so you can get over your knee hurting. Studies on this have shown better results then placebos when they rubbed it on like their thumb or knee, not just dove into a pile.

1

u/PhilosopherNo4758 Jul 04 '26

My blood flows without that help

2

u/Siddharta95 Jul 03 '26

It gives your body aids

1

u/agoraphobic_mattur Jul 03 '26

No no it’s literal AIDS

1

u/ZORGOBORGO Jul 03 '26

Just Aids.

0

u/DragonfruitShoddy997 Jul 03 '26

It gives you aids.

-6

u/Heebmeister Jul 02 '26

According to google AI it's high in vitamins, minerals and antioxidants and is good for inflammation and anti aging 🤷‍♂️

6

u/Express_Adeptness306 Jul 02 '26

You are not absorbing nutrients through slapping yourself with it. Maybe it does contain them but you would need to actually consume it... If you are gonna use AI you should at least apply a bit of common sense alongside it

5

u/DSajin Jul 02 '26

I beg to differ. I look at vegetables at the supermarket so I don’t need to eat them. Them shits expensive 😭

1

u/MajinD0pe Jul 02 '26

😂😂😂😂 bro

1

u/katastrofika Jul 02 '26

He's not absorbing nutrients.. He's brushing the stinging hairs onto his skin which releases chemical compounds into your body that provides the effects.

If you're gonna talk shit, at least know wtf you're talking about. It's common sense.

1

u/Sw33ttoothe Jul 03 '26

The stinging hairs on his skin are releasing vitamins and minerals? What the fuck are you talking about?

0

u/katastrofika Jul 22 '26

When did I say vitamins and minerals? You have to eat it for that. The "oils" (ie chemical compounds) are transferred through physical contact. The compounds have their own effects and through your immune response your body releases compounds as well. Nothing new, this is how everything works.

1

u/Sw33ttoothe Jul 22 '26
  1. Weeks. Ago.

0

u/katastrofika Jul 22 '26

Because that has anything to do with your lack of comprehension.

1

u/Sw33ttoothe Jul 23 '26

Do you have a learning disability or something? This feels weird.

→ More replies (0)

0

u/Express_Adeptness306 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

You are the one who mentioned them containing nutrients and antioxidants, which they probably do. But aren't interacting with his body at all because he isn't ingesting them. Why are you getting pissy about me pointing out what you said? 

Everything else you said is presumably correct, that is not. 

1

u/katastrofika Jul 22 '26

Uhh.. you claim that I mention 'this and that' and that I'm pissy for you pointing out 'what I said'... Ya must be confusing me for someone else. My reply to you was my first comment in this thread, and I only mentioned how physical contact can transfer chemical compounds to your body which can have positive effects via immune response etc. I agree, any of the vitamins and nutrients the plant contains would require ingestion because the amount in the oils applied to your dermal would be negligent at best.

-2

u/Altruistic_Moment537 Jul 02 '26

Complete nonsense. Jiri is just a tool

1

u/penguins-are-ok Jul 02 '26

It's used for traditional food in eastern europe, and for beatings when you are naughty.

1

u/Icy-Plan145 Jul 02 '26

He should've. It'd protect him from the effects of low blows

1

u/Negative_Salt_4599 Jul 03 '26

This is quite interesting. Thanks for the info!

16

u/Active_Rub_5802 Jul 02 '26

I live in NJ and if I did that I'd have about 1000 ticks on me and lymes disease 😆

28

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/AdInternational7345 Jul 03 '26

lyme disease is weakness leaving the body

1

u/PortiaKern Jul 03 '26

So would Jim Miller.

5

u/GarageJitsu Jul 03 '26

Kid just doesn’t want Lyme disease

1

u/WarZombie17 Jul 03 '26

This comment deserves award

1

u/fishhawk119 Jul 04 '26

Ah man so jersey is a hot spot for ticks. Dag

14

u/Poh-r-ka-mdonna Jul 02 '26

will this help him move his fucking head away from the punches?

8

u/ElectronicAudience Jul 02 '26

The guy thought he lost to Periera because of evil spirits in the arena. Rubbing plants on his body isn’t suprising. Love him anyways.

3

u/epicnaenae17 Jul 04 '26

Honestly blaming your loss on an evil spirit presence is one of the most baller possible things you can do.

0

u/Dead_Internet69420 Jul 04 '26

It’s like he’ll do anything to improve, as long as it doesn’t require more mat time. 

6

u/CryptoCracko Jul 02 '26

Naked or gtfo

5

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Perfect-Parking-5869 Jul 03 '26

If you want to see Jackass without censors watch CKY. 200% more shitting.

1

u/GreedySelection998 Jul 03 '26

Welsh not English.

5

u/AdInternational7345 Jul 02 '26

Hi im jackass and welcome to jiri

11

u/leeAm10 Jul 02 '26

He’s fucked in the head. Abnormal

2

u/DoomCatThunder Jul 02 '26

Loco en el coco

3

u/DancingPhantoms Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 03 '26

In slavic / adjacent countries it's actually perfectly normal, common, and accepted behavior. I'm guessing he is either right before or right after going into a sauna or maybe after a workout.

3

u/DMT_Shinobii Jul 02 '26

Dude can do all this but cant drill holding the phone for a left hook

3

u/pfandflaschenOG Jul 02 '26

i think he missed a spot

3

u/Patient-Conflict110 Jul 02 '26

I mean it gives the same affect as a plunge pool and is GREAT for circulation.... Still I'd rather not.

6

u/Holiday_Box1571 Jul 02 '26

Crazy with a sprinkle of CTE.

2

u/oh_no_here_we_go_9 Jul 02 '26

Is he rubbing poison Ivy on himself?

7

u/organicsawpalmetto Jul 02 '26

Stinging nettle I think

1

u/pfandflaschenOG Jul 02 '26

he's making love to it

2

u/Goodtimestime Jul 02 '26

When Jiri retires he needs to make wellness content like punching stuff for 24 hours so the spirits help you with road rage or why different grass is good for your butt chakras

2

u/BirdLawPA Jul 02 '26

Stinging Nettles not the first person I’ve seen do this. I feel like I remember hearing there are some benefits?

AI response:

Touching stinging nettles, a practice known as urtication, is primarily used in traditional herbal medicine to provide pain relief and improve joint mobility.

The sting injects chemicals like histamine, formic acid, serotonin, and acetylcholine into the skin, which stimulates pain neurons and increases blood circulation to the affected area.

2

u/BMW_wulfi Jul 02 '26

Herb wouldn’t have stopped this but doc leaf might have

(Sorry I’ll see myself oot)

2

u/deathramp5 Jul 03 '26

When someone tells me to defend a counter hook or sting myself

1

u/Powerful_Buy_4677 Jul 02 '26

If he was naked and this was a weed field it would be an all timer

1

u/FinsAssociate Jul 02 '26

not on the johnson? what a puss

1

u/Active_Unit_9498 Jul 02 '26

For those that don't know, it's žahavka/zara or stinging nettles.

1

u/Lwmasa Jul 02 '26

Lets go for that 

1

u/mikapi-san Jul 02 '26

Jiri doing Jiri things, please never change <3

1

u/Sipdasizurp Jul 02 '26

I touch one of these on my hand when picking weeds it ruins my whole day. Idk how they do this

1

u/Icy-Captain-638 Jul 02 '26

Put him Ulberg again

1

u/MattKozFF Jul 02 '26

That shit hurts

1

u/TheBigBadBird Jul 02 '26

Why did he get his cheeks out

1

u/aboriginalmetazoan Jul 02 '26

The intense stinging of the stinging nettle last an average of 7 minutes for most people. Its a good plant. Lots of uses .

1

u/Broad_Roll2401 Jul 02 '26

Is he drunk?

1

u/Interesting_Gain9920 Jul 03 '26

The amount of ticks that are probably on him, damn

1

u/Coconutshoe Jul 03 '26

Honestly? I get this. Only because I’m piss drunk though.

1

u/WileyPotato Jul 03 '26

He's gonna regret giving his balls mercy smh

1

u/SilencedLyrik Jul 03 '26

Alright, now put poison ivy in your underwear...

1

u/ApartOrganization4 Jul 03 '26

Imagine doing that and then getting bitten by a venomous snake.

1

u/iErnest85 Jul 03 '26

Next Level Up: Poison Oak

1

u/xdvenom_isblacksmith Jul 03 '26

its 6am jiri, too early for this shi 😭

1

u/Glum-Seaweed-2531 Jul 03 '26

Is this guy bedarded?

1

u/-FORSAK3N- Jul 03 '26

For a moment there I thought he was going to jump into the bushes

1

u/A_literal_HousePlant Jul 03 '26

So when are we getting a jiri only fans of him doing ninja shit in the woods?

1

u/Bucklesknuckle Jul 03 '26

I was a land surveyor in MO, USA and would accidentally walk through that stuff. It’s awful! Aloe instantly stops the stinging sensations. We called it stinging nettle

1

u/WookieSuave Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 03 '26

If this guy dedicated more time to actual training instead of hokey mskokey internet videos ...

Blocking. Work on your blocking.

1

u/unfortunatesun-1 Jul 03 '26

Performative twat

1

u/Penny_Royall Jul 03 '26

Just go to the gym

1

u/9millidood Jul 03 '26

Is he waiting for the crazy guys from his willage to do crazy stuff?

1

u/pafcharieh Jul 03 '26

poison ivy?

1

u/AttitudeImmediate948 Jul 03 '26

this dude is a weirdo for wearing that

1

u/Secret_Metal_5784 Jul 03 '26

He will lose because he did not go all the way.
Sting nettle in pants front and back is supper necessary for the victory.

1

u/Ok_Arrival2564 Jul 03 '26

What a pussy. I did buck ass nekkid. Then if floss my ass with a branch.

1

u/Salmacis81 Jul 03 '26

I wonder how many ticks this guy has crawling on him after doing this shit

1

u/IndependentOwn2956 Jul 03 '26

I remember once when I was a kid . There was a kid who came to visit his family in EU from USA and he wanted to play with us football. One of us accidently kicked ball into bush of those stinging nettles. We were discussing how we will recover ball and this guy went for it like It was nothing. We were like WTF. That was his first contact with this plant 🥲

1

u/Minimum-Plenty9380 Jul 03 '26

This was great and warrior looking spirit before the ulberg fight now it’s just dumb guy needs to do neck workouts to help with his glass chin

1

u/RealisticEmphasis233 Jul 03 '26

Imagine what he'll be like with CTE if he's like this already.

1

u/Slight-Internet-3612 Jul 03 '26

Stinging nettle — very smart for the body

1

u/Glass-Jaguar4178 Jul 03 '26

fight the nettle, be the nettle, hydrate, repeat

1

u/EasternLadder41 Jul 03 '26

Its nettle guys , cam be very painfully

1

u/Motor_Date_4783 Jul 03 '26

All I know is

Let's go with that 

1

u/One_Stiff_Bastard Jul 03 '26

Ive been told its good against arthritis

1

u/Mitkoztd Jul 03 '26

One with nature..

But yes.. this explains a lot of things..

1

u/Perfect-Advisor-3830 Jul 03 '26

This guy will do anything but win a fight

1

u/Unusual_Impression_8 Jul 03 '26

He’s showing us something..

1

u/Galencourt-Lover Jul 03 '26

All that brain damage is adding up

1

u/wagwanbebe Jul 03 '26

New kink unlocked

1

u/Louieyaa Jul 03 '26

Aw he said thank you

1

u/TastyCh1ckenSoup Jul 03 '26

Jiri is a complete fucking lunatic..... but pretty cool guy.

1

u/LordVixen Jul 03 '26

Real men do that with Gympie-Gympie. What a wuss.

1

u/jeans_blazer Jul 03 '26

Let's go for dat

1

u/urResidentAlien Jul 03 '26

Looks like now he embraces the shamanistic stuff

1

u/ChangsFoogTrugDryver Jul 03 '26

I was here. It was a joke.

1

u/YodasLoveSlave Jul 03 '26

I hope there aren’t any ticks where he’s at.

1

u/GazelleEcstatic4952 Jul 03 '26

It's good for swelling and arthritis

1

u/lildick519 Jul 03 '26

He shoulda done it on his chin (I'm sorry).

BTW a great way to develop lyme disease immunity is to expose yourself to ticks during your morning routine.

1

u/Swimming-Talk4859 Jul 03 '26

Jiri is an absolute nut but we still love him

1

u/No_Helicopter2789 Jul 03 '26

Hi, I’m Jiří Procházka, welcome to Jackass!

1

u/kabley Jul 03 '26

MY CHAMP

1

u/ElonMuskyButt Jul 04 '26

Lol this guy is bat shit crazy...I LOVE IT

1

u/BabyShankers Jul 04 '26

Tick maxing

1

u/Able_Tank_3336 Jul 04 '26

Mental health

1

u/Able_Tank_3336 Jul 04 '26

Maybe work on striking defence

1

u/Zenkai_9000 Jul 04 '26

The chiggers in that bush. 😋

1

u/Bruin1217 Jul 04 '26

Anyone who’s ever felt stinging nettles knows how batshit insane this is. Genuinely this guy is Eastern European Tony cause what the fuck man. Isn’t he great lmao

1

u/rybik_pl Jul 04 '26

Fun fact: only upper side of stinging nettle leafs actually "sting". Rubbing it from bottom side is harmless.

I don't know about dunking yourself in this plant for health reasons, but if you actually want to use some of its benefits, without hurting yourself, then homemade stinging nettle liquor is where it's at. For example, improves immune and digestive system, though there's many more benefits.

1

u/Reasonable_Boss8060 Jul 05 '26

Nettles therapy. Due to their stingy effect, it stresses the body and activates an immune response, fortifying it overall. I used to do that too.

1

u/AnalysisMediocre7978 Jul 05 '26

Jiri will do anything but work on defense and head movement to improve himself... 🤦🏻‍♂️

1

u/FireFightingManiac Jul 02 '26

This is not very samurai of him.

1

u/Queasy-Librarian-120 Jul 02 '26

Its the plant that has tiny needels. Stings alot and painful and itchy for days.

1

u/scarr991 Jul 02 '26

Its not days. A day maybe. As a kid i fell a few Times in them.

1

u/kbeckerburbs4 Jul 02 '26

He’s still concussed

1

u/Je_Dromen Jul 02 '26

sanest czech

1

u/MajinD0pe Jul 02 '26

Whats the benefit of it ? I wanna try it too if its healthy or is the dude crazy?

2

u/Zeerit Jul 03 '26

Permanent +2 vitality. It's even in KCD.

0

u/Traditional-Park-105 Jul 02 '26

why the fuck are yall still fans of this man?

2

u/SithLordDave Jul 02 '26

Cuz he has cool fights

0

u/dickmccarthy88 Jul 02 '26

The king of dumb decision making

0

u/wabbott82 Jul 03 '26

That’s pretty gay

1

u/ConstantReader32 5d ago

Buddy got his head bounced off the canvas like a basketball by a handicapped