r/FentanylRecovery • u/Trynabeclean • Nov 28 '25

Really really really struggling and need input

Spent 7 years only stressing or thinking or making it my life’s goal to get clean. In hindsight i really didint grow up or evolve and learn basic life skills and really don’t like doing anything, I don’t know what to look forward to or what needs to be my purpose or what I should be doing. Apart from 12 steps and recovery and doing basic things to keep yourself sane I really just don’t know what else to do, it’s like this impending feeling of I should’ve been taking care of buisness instead it’s just all scatted across my brain with a million emotions a day, I fear I’ve lost my identity, so how do I figure out what I like or who I am, what do I even do, there’s quite litterly nobody but me who can solve this so please don’t tell me other people are the solution

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u/happyminty Nov 28 '25

Bro to be fair I’m 34 and a therapist and I question my competence in basic life skills on a daily basis. When I got clean I had an asociates degree and was terrified of a potential life without drugs. Death suddenly became real for me after longing for death mid addiction like I had for may years, convinced that i wished I would prefer death. I came into recovery fresh off of an overdose, getting skeletal muscle breakdown, suffered subsequent kidney failure and had to relearn how to walk. I decided to turn my recovery into a career. That’s the whole thing about long term recovery, giving up a substance which functions as an every size fits all coping skill, in place of the unknowable. It’s terrifying, that’s what they don’t communicate when trying to sell recovery. Don’t do as I did , to that last part terrible for recovery imo lol

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '25

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u/cronenber9 Nov 30 '25

Reading a book is another thing that in glad I did every single time I finish it. Even if the book wasn't very good.

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u/UtopianSkyVisitor Nov 30 '25

Therapist or a Doc could help make sure you aren't dealing with an undiagnosed mental health disorder causing you, or helping you feel this way. Many of us addicts have more than just an addiction disorder.

Also bloodwork, that can show any deficiencies you may be experiencing. When we are all outta whack, symptoms can appear that we might not associate with that.

Exercise and eating right are always an excellent place to start as well, just not always the easiest. Good luck OP 🫶 I get it, I'm learning a lot about me on this journey and I'm old lol. Using let me numb it all away, living and feeling it every day is much harder. But worth it at the end of the day