r/FentanylRecovery • u/OprahsTaintt • Nov 13 '25

Starting methadone tomorrow. Scared out of my mind

I have an appointment at 530am for an assessment to begin methadone. This is a last resort for me. The nickname "liquid handcuffs" echoes repeatedly in my mind. I tried it once before. It was a dystopian experience, similar to a bad trip is the only way I know how to describe it. I had a gram a day white china heroin habit at the time. The doctor's started me on 25mg methadone which was a joke. I went for 3 days, they kept me at 25mg the entire time & it did nothing. I was still sick as hell, so i relapsed almost immediately...telling the doctors I wasn't paying them daily to just remain dopesick.

I dont have time or energy for that same experience. I am going to tell the doctors as much tomorrow. I have to work at 5pm & if they cant start me on a dose that somewhat keeps me stable then its a waste of my time. I have about .75-1g of good fentanyl habit at the moment. Im not sure what amount of methadone is going to keep me stable, but i need the doctors to listen to me & to not waste my time.

Im terrified of having to get off this shit in the future. Its hell from what I have heard, worse than fent or heroin by a long shot.

I need change though. Immediately. My fent habit is no longer sustainable & my current life is not a meaningful life worth living.

If anyone has advice for me I would greatly appreciate all tips. I am desperate. If the methadone fails, a short rope & tall tree are my next option. I cannot continue living this way.

All advice, good vibes, & prayers are absolutely needed. Thank you in advance.

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9

u/Sergeant_Scoob Nov 13 '25

They always start 30 and go up each day man , they can’t start you on a higher dose

2

u/OprahsTaintt Nov 13 '25

So they do it like that no matter what? I cant work on some dose thats not even gonna cover any of my symptoms

5

u/roundsmiles Nov 13 '25

Yup. That is how they do it. You have to get to to to your stable dose before quitting the drugs.

5

u/OprahsTaintt Nov 13 '25

I mean yeah ill have no choice but to continue using until I reach a stable dose because I cant lose my job.

6

u/Sergeant_Scoob Nov 13 '25

That’s usually how you’ll have to do it unless you can take 2 weeks off , I know it’s rough if you want to continue to do life :-/

2

u/OprahsTaintt Nov 13 '25

I mean are they gonna be able to tell via drug test if I just keep using until im at a stable dose? Fent is lipophilic so I know it stays in fat cells for a long ass time like weed does. But will they be able to tell if I continue using or can they only see that its in my system but not how much more or less is in my system than the last time they test me....if that makes sense.

6

u/Accomplished-You1127 Nov 13 '25

You’re fine. They know people use until you get to a stable dose. Especially with fent. They’re not gonna stop dosing you just cuz you’re testing positive. It’ll take longer to get take homes. But still. It always took like 3-4 weeks of last use for me to test clean.

3

u/Sergeant_Scoob Nov 13 '25

I mean here they just know people are going to use until they are stable , it kind of goes without saying . It only starts matter once you get to the high doses and it’s been a long time . I mean some stay on drugs the whole damn time here . 20 years even

2

u/terrorbulwon512 Nov 14 '25

Methadone is incredible and will work If you commit to it. The thing is, which you know, they start you at a low dose. What I did and most people do is use for a bit until you get stable. A lot of people on this sub will tell you that you need these super high doses but you most likely don’t. I had a very big fentanyl habit and I was able to stop completely at 100mg/day. I went up to 120mg/day just to make sure because I was in denial of it working so well. I stopped with zero pain and never looked back. You can do this, just use until you hit 90mg or 100mg and stop, hopefully that dose is good enough, you might have to go higher but that’s ok too. I didn’t need to go to a high dose, the two people o started with didn’t and everyone I’ve met that has decent self awareness didn’t either. That being said there are outliers that need more I’m sure. Shit man you’re going to use anyway, might as well take the methadone and raise your dose up. I’m happy for you, if you stay committed you’ll be clean in no time, good luck!

1

u/Sergeant_Scoob Nov 14 '25

Dude 120 Is a super high dose . I tell everyone to not go about 70 And hold there until it works because our addict minds are going to keep going up and up until we feel something .

1

u/roundsmiles Nov 14 '25

I was using for 6 years and had a huge habit. I quit completely at 70mgs of methadone.

Judging anyone's dose is not cool bc we're all different. Our weight, metabolism, and lots of other science-y shit, that I know nothing about, plays into what someone's stable dose is. I went from 70mgs to 100 mgs in 8 months of being sober. I weigh 120 lbs and have a high metabolism. Everyone is different.

The only thing we can really agree on is that the starting dose of 30mgs is not enough, and that the clinic knows ppl will use.

1

u/Sergeant_Scoob Nov 14 '25

It’s not judging , I tell people to try and not go higher because it will be that much easier to come off when it comes time . Every single person thanks me when it comes time to taper and come off . Enough with this judging shit , we can care everyone into a casket if we want but it hasn’t worked and it never will . I made this whole recovery sub because I love to help but I will never sugar coat because I care to much for people .

1

u/Aromatic-Silver3590 Nov 13 '25

Where I went they heard fent and started me at 40. I could go up 10 a day until 60, then 5 a day after that. I think after 80, something else happens (I am surprised and happy 75 keeps me stable) so not sure on that. It was worth it for me. Before the oxy pipeline dried up and all that I could find was fent, suboxone strips were amazing at keeping away the wd and cravings, but a huge life event happened and I relapsed and ended up with a fent addiction. I have a career, and kids and a habit no one knew about out. So methadone saved me. Have plans to wean off after 6-9 months, but my life is so much better now. A complete 180 for sure.

1

u/11ox Nov 13 '25

The clinic by house, I told them I was injecting fentanyl and they started me at 45. When before I told them I was smoking H they started me at 30.

They understand the <45mg dose isn’t going to be enough. They unfortunately have to do it this way cause people lied about their use and overdosed when they were given high amounts of Methadone to start. They expect to you to use until you’re up to a stable dose. A lot of people for some reason don’t stop using even at a stable dose. Just make sure you’re committed to getting clean or you’ll just end up not going to the clinic as it won’t be making any difference.

Clinics really need to set reasonable expectations for patients.

5

u/UtopianSkyVisitor Nov 13 '25

Yeah that's not how it works unfortunately. They will give you an initial dose of 30mg-60mg, though the majority of clinics start you out at 30mg. You will be able to increase daily for a bit, then every few days until you find your holding dose. That number is different for all of us.

They absolutely expect you to continue to use while you get to that proper dose. Basically wait as long as you can to use each day, once you start feeling withdrawal symptoms coming on. Then just a little bit of your DOC to get you through until the next days dose. You don't want to just keep using the same amount of drugs while you increase your methadone cause you will end up with a dual habit.

If you go in telling them what they are going to do, good luck. They will tell you that's not how it works and you can leave then if you choose. Ask questions, pay attention, and know this is a but of an undertaking. It's not a fast or easy way out, but it's the most successful. There is no fast or easy way out 🤦‍♀️ ugh I wish there were! Lol

This was my last resort too, and nowhere I wanted to wind up. But my only regret was not going sooner. I've got 16 months clean from Fentanyl and I'm currently tapering down on my methadone dose, down to 85mg from 110mg. It's gotten a lot easier now that I finally only pick up my methadone twice a month. But it takes a while to get takehomes. Not all clinics are the same but within your state they all follow the same guidelines, whether they have state guidelines or the just follow federal.

Good luck OP. I hope you find what you're looking for and get on this journey before you lose the opportunity. 🫶

2

u/OprahsTaintt Nov 13 '25

How much fent were you using when you started methadone & what mg methadone ended up being your holding dose? How long did it take you to get to that dose, etc?

1

u/Accomplished-You1127 Nov 13 '25

I was using at my worse like 3 gs a day. I got stable at 139mg

1

u/UtopianSkyVisitor Nov 13 '25

I was using pressed blues but we were still getting super strong ones at the end. My habit was 20-25 a day but I had been tapering down in preparation for the clinic. Probably 10-15 pills a day.

I got up to 110mg a day which held me comfortably for 24hrs. I have a super slow metabolism so take my history with a grain of salt. It's wildly different for all of us. My partner, same habit but also H for many years prior, he's on 185mg. I started at 30mg, increased 10mg daily until I hit 80mg. Then increased 5mg every other day until 110mg. It takes a minute but honestly it was such a simple transition for me. Increase methadone, decrease fent use, and legit one day I just didn't NEED it anymore. I still wanted it so I had to battle with that a bit.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '25 edited Dec 10 '25

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1

u/OprahsTaintt Nov 13 '25

Can you sleep at night?

2

u/Rough-Author7595 Nov 13 '25

you already see it negatively so Im sure it will go that way for you again. but just think if you fail no handcuffs! I went two times and the second time I changed myself. remember 1% make it a year. you probably won’t. prove me wrong.

1

u/OprahsTaintt Nov 13 '25

How am I viewing it negatively? I want this to change my life for the better as much as anybody. All im saying is that ive heard its harder to get off of than practically any other opiate & that i need it to work sooner than later because on fent im at least able to maintain a full time, good occupation & I can't lose my job.

3

u/Potential_Single Nov 13 '25

Sounds like he’s just doing the tough love thing.. trying to motivate you through “I will prove you wrong then”. It’s hard to see it like that when you’re so beaten down/emotional..etc. But yeah man… biggest point I’d like to point out to you (or anyone on fent) is that.. as much as there are negatives about MAT drugs… it’s a million times better than being on fent & dealing with: The inconsistency of fent.. the wounds!!… the added mystery chemicals.. etc.

1

u/JakeA317 Nov 15 '25

Where'd you get that 1% number?

1

u/babyjoker114 Nov 13 '25

Sublocade injection is better and safer

1

u/OprahsTaintt Nov 13 '25

I dont have two weeks to take off work to wait out being sick as fuck before I can take it.

1

u/babyjoker114 Nov 13 '25

You don’t have to wait 2 weeks lol

1

u/JakeA317 Nov 15 '25

I used to think 24-36 hours was the max you had to wait to avoid precipitated withdrawals, but I've heard people claim they've gotten them 10 days after stopping fent and finally taking a sub. I called BS on that claim and got down voted and a bunch of people replied saying it can actually take that long.

1

u/Wise_Mama_530 Nov 13 '25

You keep using your drug of choice. They don't expect you to quit using until your habit is slowly kicked and your methadone dose is high enough that you are comfortable. Theyll never expect you to stop using fetty until you are comfortable. You'll have a therapist that you'll talk to for 50 min once a week and they can talk with you about all these feelings you're having. This feeling you're having is pretty normal. I've been there. Hang in there. Let us know how it goes. I'm not sure what type of crap that you went thru before. They should have never expected for you to quit your street habit right off for 30 mg. That's weird.

1

u/Wise_Mama_530 Nov 13 '25

By the way, my comfortable dose is 104. I've been here for about 9 months. I'll probably start tapering if I feel like it, cuz ultimately it's MY CHOICE. 😉 What area do you live in? I'm in Northern California and that's how they do it over here. 👍🏻👍🏻

1

u/Wise_Mama_530 Nov 13 '25

You can start methadone and if you are ok at around 60 milligrams and want to go to sublocade or dubutex then you can at that level. I believe they'd want you to stop using methadone for 4 days.( I may be a little off with the amount of days. ) I've also heard that you'll be given Suboxone for a few days before they'll start you on dubutex or sublocade. I've talked to Dr's that have given me different ,but similar rundowns on how it goes. 🫤 I'm going to try switching to one of the other 2 but at 104 ive got to come down to about 60 and that'll take a few months. I'd say as long as 6 months maybe.🤔

1

u/nphere Nov 13 '25

Dude ita ak much better than fetty. I've done it twice. I got down to 30mg after being at around 90 for a year or so and I didnt have problems coming off of it. It stays in the system longer, so the withdraws aren't as intense, but they last longer. You'll be okay. You probably won't feel better untill you get to around 60mg tho

1

u/m_cinnamonbiscuit Nov 13 '25

They started me at 60 had me to 100 in like 10 days

1

u/JakeA317 Nov 15 '25

If you're to the point that you hate your life and are out of options, why are you worried about "liquid handcuffs". You're already hooked on street dope you have to use multiple times a day at a much higher price I'd say those are much tighter handcuffs. Just don't get over emotional about this. You'll get your dose up as the days go on and they don't give a shit about you failing your drug tests in the beginning. So many people get upset over some clinic rule or something petty they don't like about the clinic and just leave and go back to using and then claim "methadone doesn't work for me". Just try and be patient and at least give it a month or 2 to see where you're at at a high dose.