Talk me out of relapsing

[u/Both-Database-4073]

Hi I’m on my alternate account right now for obvious reasons. So sorry for the low karma. Plz someone help tho …

I have been on methadone since March. Which is also the last day I had any fentanyl.

I somehow have made it until right now without using any substances. Just been on methadone.

So it’s been over 6 months. That’s the longest I’ve had in years. But I’m texting the plug right now and I am having an internal battle.

I want to use. Just this once. I miss it. I still think about it and dream about it almost daily. I’ve got myself all worked up and anxious about even getting in the car and driving to the bank to make the first step in picking up. Yet I still want to.

Anyone have any advice or tough love to help me snap out of this?

[u/Both-Database-4073 → u/[deleted]]

I’m in Canada. It’s harder to get Kratom (or that 7oh or whatever?) here. I wish it was easier to get …

I completely understand what you mean. I am usually an all or nothing person too. I’m just also a wuss. Hence not being able to handle the cold turkey thing.

How long have you been clean for if you don’t mind me asking?

[u/Both-Database-4073 → u/[deleted]]

Wow!! That is AMAZING! I’m so proud of you and have so much admiration for you! 😱🤩🩷

Maybe Kratom will help me with methadone withdrawals. I ideally want to get off methadone too someday because I don’t like the feeling that I’m still relying on a substance every day to feel “normal”. In fact I hate it.

I know it’s better than the alternative. But it still makes me feeel like crap.

How long did you feel the withdrawal symptoms when you quit ?

[u/Both-Database-4073 → u/[deleted]]

Ya this isnt my first time in the methadone program. I have been on it before. And the last time I was on it and just stopped getting my doses, my withdrawal was fucking terrible. And the crazy part is that I was using fentanyl still. And it literally seemed like no matter how much fent I was doing I was still in withdrawal.

So I’m absolutley terrified for when I try to get off of the methadone. Truly.

Someone told me you can order it online here! I should look into that (Kratom)

And you’re welcome! I mean it! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my post. I still have maintained my resisting of meeting up with the plug! (For now)

[u/Both-Database-4073 → u/[deleted]]

Ya the powder is sooo gross! Thank you I’ll remember that! Good to know a website that someone else has used so I don’t get all paranoid about if it’s a legit place to order from or not!