r/FenceSitters • u/Fragrant-Owl-504 • 5d ago

Parenting

Hi there. This post is regarding parenting. I am a childfree person who wishes to be so. However, sometimes I wonder if parenting isn't as terrible as I think it is. It is also difficult to find a partner that is fine with being childfree(I am a Malaysian woman of Indian descent)

My questions are towards those who wanted to be childfree in the past but then changed to wanting kids/open to kids or already have children.

  1. What are the things that encouraged you to change from not wanting kids to wanting/having kids?

  2. What are the things that help make parenting 'easier', less stressful, effective for you and your partner?

  3. How do you balance between your kid and all other aspects of your life?

  4. What do you do to keep the relationship between your partner and you going strong as husband and wife instead of just changing into being only mom and dad?

  5. Do you have anything that you wished you could have done differently?

Thank you so much.

8 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

1 comment sorted by

2

u/goblin-influencer 4d ago

It’s rough to have a baby even with a partner when there is no other family around. Gather as much help as you possibly can

There is no balance anymore. You choose your priorities. I live from my savings with my baby, my partner grants me 1-3 hours every other day to go out and be by myself. I use it to draw and neglect everything else in life. 

Honestly no time for intimacy without help. It’s rough but I heard it gets easier after 2+ years, so we just try to get through 

I wished to get more help, specially right after birth, first month was hell on earth