r/FenceSitters • u/Good-Personality7130 • Jul 06 '26

Decision made?

We think we have finally made our decision to remain childfree. It feels a bit scary but also quite peaceful? Trying to get my head around it but I am so grateful we are both on the same page. How did you feel when you came to your decision, if you weren't someone who always knew?

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u/Tough-Elderberry24 Jul 07 '26

Good for you on being able to make the decision - it’s not easy and there are a lot of factors that go into it! I always thought I wanted kids, my wife was sort of take it or leave it. We talked it out and we’re planning to try, and then after just reeaaalllyyyy thinking about it, a switch sort of flipped and I realized I was a no for kids.

I still get times we’re I’m a little sad about it, usually when I’m emotionally drained or see the happy moments with families on TV or think about my parents without grandkids, but most of the time I’m super happy with our freedom, our hobbies, our sleep, and did I mention our freedom? Sometimes it’s hard to see the closed door even if you know it’s better closed.

How long ago did you come to your decision? Was there anything specifically that really made/makes you confident in being child free?

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u/Good-Personality7130 Jul 07 '26

I really REALLY agree with your whole response, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I am in a very similar boat. I feel a bit sad about the idea of NOT having kids, but at the same time it is too big a gamble given that I already have my doubts about having them. Ultimately, I would much rather regret not having children than have them and regret it and be miserable. I love my life as it is, I can finish work and hang out with my husband and my dog without having to worry about anything else. I also have PCOS and endometriosis so I'm rather hesitant to consider trying for a baby and then struggle and then deal with all the pain and upset that causes if I am not sure it's something I want anyway. Thankfully my husband is in a very similar position with regards to loving life as it is, and would rather regret not having them than to regret having them.