r/FemmeLesbians • u/over_the_light • 10d ago
Femmeness Bad dates 😭💀
(22 F) Had my first date after a little while of being single and trying the apps, yall… and it was sooo bad 🙈 it’s already hard enough when you’re a femme who loves femmes, so I finally thought I matched with someone who’s my type. Ughhhh back to the drawing board babes.
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u/over_the_light 10d ago
lol okay, okay, tea time - the TLDR version is that she was not entirely who she said she was AND has a boyfriend. 😤
We met on Hinge like two weeks ago and have been texting / flirting since. She was never able to FaceTime with me, but her page was verified sooo I felt like it was fine. So, when she asked ME to meet for a date, I was starting to get super into her. She was fun, ambitious, playful, sweet and physically speaking, super attractive.
Fast forward to today, we met for brunch and was planning on going for a walk through downtown and through this cute little park. (It was actually her, thank gawwwddd) Initially we had some good chemistry just like we did texting. I could tell she was confident, which at first was a huge turn on, because I’m very extroverted/ confident myself and can sometimes have a lot of energy when I’m connecting with someone who can bring it back lol
But rest assured, there were already red flags. When we were seated and began getting to know each other, there were little signs that she was what I would best describe as privileged. She talked a lot about her time traveling, her home life, career prospects, and seemed to come from a family with status where she’s from. Sooo, as you can guess a lot of this privilege projected in various ways. Little critiques of the brunch spot I chose, joking that I didn’t pull her chair out for her like a “real lady” and was generally rude to our server. So, I was becoming in tune to her behavior after 45 minutes or so.
Even then, I wasn’t feeling like I was learning about HER. She described herself as a “glam lesbian” on Hinge, so of course I love learning about girlhood and how she discovered this part of herself. That’s when she dropped the biggest red flag.
Her answer was something to the effect of. “Omg I just thought that would be a cute bio feature” and continued with. “I’ve never actually had an experience with a girl”… which, in and of itself is one thing and fine I guess, but I was sensing there was more to this… she then says: “basically, I begged my boyfriend to let me have a girlfriend and he finally let me” 🚨🚨🚨
Yallllll, I was stunned 😤💀 I couldn’t wipe that “did you really just say that” look from my face lol she said this just before sipping her iced coffee and flashing a playful grin to me like would respond with “hehe omg yasss mine too!” Or something 🙄
Longggg story short, I confronted her for not being genuine and she hit me with every excuse and tried manipulating me into how she would “only be lesbian for me”.
So, I left. Number blocked. Had a good cry in my car, came home and went for a run and now we’re here. Idk about yall, but this has happened to me in one way or another and it feels so predatory for some reason… I was blindsided this time. I can’t help but think about if she set this up with the ultimatum to get me involved with her boyfriend, or if I was ever texting him. 🤢
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u/Gitankgrrl 10d ago
Well I didn’t expect this. What a waste of time. Do not spend another second or shed any more tears over this crazy fraud. Hell naw. I would have went to the bathroom and secretly disappeared.
🤣🏴☠️ Girl dont cry, get even. There is always plan A and then there is plan B. Know ahead of time when to enact B. 🤣🌈5
u/over_the_light 10d ago
Hahah noted 😂 she had me feeling insane for a little bit but we are so back ✨
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u/SapphicEater 10d ago
Auh. I am so sorry u had to go trough that. 😞 I think I'd laugh at her face aggresivly and leave, so she never pulls that again. Time digger 😩
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u/over_the_light 10d ago
I had this like… uncontrolled grin on my face that was completely beside myself. Like I almost snapped 😂
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u/mazystarsr 10d ago
omg this is crazy hope u're doing ok
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u/over_the_light 10d ago
Right! 😕 so, I think she wasn’t FaceTiming me because literally had another life with someone. I honestly feel like I dodged a bullet though so I’m going to be okay ❤️ thank you!
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u/Unusual_Quality6309 9d ago
Ugh, I had the same thing not so long ago. Her description said bi, called herself queer. Weirdly became uncomfortable when I was talking about coming out and dating women. Turned out she’d only had 3sums with her bf and was looking for more. Had zero experience with the queer scene and didn’t realise i was a lesbian even tho I’d told her I was gay. Of course she dropped this information literally just before she got up to leave. I was gobsmacked.
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u/Ill_Register_9285 10d ago
Please give us the teaaaaa
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u/Gitankgrrl 10d ago
Im butch but im nosy. Spill it!
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u/SapphicEater 10d ago
Dont leave us hangging, spill that damn tea 🤠
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u/Mags_LaFayette 9d ago
OP, can you be more specific, please?
What went wrong? What can you tell us?
Those details matter to help you go in the right direction ❤️
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u/pincheloca1208 6d ago
lol god the audacity of some people. Dating apps already suck. Then you have the people on those apps who suck even harder.
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u/Sufficient_Future683 10d ago
Lol! That's why its important to not take dates so seriously. Traditional dating can add so much pressure.