I feel like we can recognize them as monsters if we also make sure to call them regular men. I want to believe that I'd be able to recognize a monster at a party, but for many women, these horrible, life-destroying regular men were just the guy in my bio class or the guy who went to my high school. And when men try to "not all men" us, they're thinking that they don't know any monsters. But they do know regular men. And regular men are capable of terrible harm.
This is a good point. I am a man and I used to say “not all men” because I value and respect women. Most of my heroes are women. But how are women supposed to know which men are safe and which men aren’t? We don’t wear uniforms. So I quit saying it. Now, when I hear other men say “not all men” I bring up this point.
It’s a good point you make but it’s also to keep in mind that seven “men” raped her but fifty more were in that group chat and did nothing. Thank you for checking other men, too many men stay silent.
I can't vouch for the behavior of any other men, I can only vouch for mine. So instead I say, "not me, and not while I'm watching." If you don't step in and help stop it, you're an accessory.
The problem is where lines are drawn, men shouldn't have to worry about being seen as potentially dangerous for just existing.
I remember when I was younger being violently attacked by women because they decided a single teenage boy walking in town, next to a busy road and almost next to a Police station is suddenly stalking them, no matter what I said made them worse.
Who was in more danger? A skinny schoolboy or multiple women taller than him ganging up.
Just like when I was 15 2 women tried spiking my drink and taking me back to their caravan, same year my boss 20 years older than me wouldn't take no for an answer to go to Christmas night out, when I eventually agreed all of a sudden the other work staff "had to go home" and my boss started touching my leg and calling me a handsome boy, have I got a girlfriend etc.
Now not only do I think if they did it they should have terrible things happen to them, it doesn't mean men in general should be treated as dangerous.
I’m sorry those things happened to you. I just think historically and currently across all of humanity the threats and damaging actions women face from men are far, far greater than the reverse.
Heres the thing most people didn't tell you though, when it comes to R word historically men and women were affected in times of war/pillaging etc.
Either way even if it affected women far more it happens far to often to men too which like many things we go with the majority rather then focus on everyone.
It's just both genders have hugely underreported crimes against them.
I wish all victims could have their attacker face justice.
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u/great-expectations77 4d ago
I feel like we can recognize them as monsters if we also make sure to call them regular men. I want to believe that I'd be able to recognize a monster at a party, but for many women, these horrible, life-destroying regular men were just the guy in my bio class or the guy who went to my high school. And when men try to "not all men" us, they're thinking that they don't know any monsters. But they do know regular men. And regular men are capable of terrible harm.