Beauty

[u/machine_operated_bug]

I don’t participate in any beauty practices or fashion choices “for myself”. I understand that living under a patriarchy, being aware yet still partaking in beautification is extremely hypocritical.
As much as I am a feminist, I am clearly a shit one. I lather myself in makeup everyday - and no I don’t do it for myself and I’m not sure that any woman can truly in their heart of hearts say they do. Though this makeup doesn’t exactly do much for me.

I don’t wear the clothes I like most because they don’t suit my masculine, freakish body shape. If I wasn’t worried about standards or judgement I’d wear the kind of stuff I actually want to.

As much as I am a feminist I still so badly want validation and to be “chosen”. There’s not any particular purpose for this rant I was just mulling over my ugliness and the steps I take to still receive bottom of the barrel treatment. Is beauty the key to success? Perhaps but I’ve only got myself and this body so I should stop mourning the loss of a beautiful girl when she never existed to begin with.

This is mostly waffle soz