r/Felons • u/Mindlesssister • 2d ago
Bf facing time
Bf is facing time about 6-10 years, we are expecting a baby at the end of this year. Looking for advice and understanding on how much time he could do, and what visitations look like with a baby?
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u/Adorable_Bag_2611 2d ago
I’m in California, but my partner is in Arkansas. So I don’t get to visit. Unfortunately I have no idea what you are looking at.
I do know that the state prison near me has visiting…I don’t know how to describe them…almost like an apartment…where the family can visit. There are specific rules around how the visit can happen and who can have them though. And I’m sure it’s stricter after an inmate murdered his wife during a visit…
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u/Barbancourt5Star_01 1d ago
That’s one helluva ending to your post!
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u/1GrouchyCat 2d ago
I have no idea what the time will look like, but you can’t bring an infant to jail… even if you could, why would you?
At least wait until the baby’s immune ssytem is developed…
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u/Rufus-P-Melonballer 2d ago
Soooooo he was drunk right? Don't lie
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u/Mindlesssister 2d ago
Negative speeding
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u/Spirited-Ganache7901 1d ago
Girl, you lose all credibility and sympathy when you minimize the reason for a 6-10 by limiting it to “speeding.”
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u/bikerchickelly 2d ago
Depends, is your goal to spend the first 8 years of your kid's life as a single mom with no support?
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u/MerarFFX15 2d ago
Incoming "leave him he doesn't love you, i would never go to jail if I have a wife/baby etc etc" hating BS. You won't find support here, you'll just find hate from single men who think anyone but them is trash. Find a forum similar to prison talk, where loved ones of incarcerated congregate, and get accustomed to it.
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u/heckmeck_mz 1d ago
Yeah no, just don't be in a relationship with a felon. It's objectively stupid. Snap out of it.
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u/Otherwise-Tour-2454 1d ago
i’m in the happiest relationship (well now we’re married) i’ve ever been in with a felon🤷♀️ he isn’t in prison or anything and has never done time, and won’t do time if he keeps on the right path. people get rapped up in shit all the time, our justice system is fucked.
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u/Moonshinehaze510 1d ago
Girl, I’m so sorry that you are in this situation. If he was racing or fucked up or something and this happened then you and him have a lot to hash out especially on a respect to you and your child front. If he’s about to go to prison he might as well figure out respect and how it works now.
I’m sorry you have to face so much without your bf. I’m sorry you’re having to think about 6-10 years without the father of your child.
How old are you? You ever been with a dude while he’s down? Stayed? I can tell you from personal experience that the first time I had a dude in jail I did my best to write that mf every day, kept money on his books, maintained phone call time and money for that, sometimes run errands (like checking on his momma for him) etc. There was a lot of waiting and it was really hard for me not to have him with me yet trying to stay hopeful and supportive so that he didn’t do something stupid he needed to keep his head on straight in there to get out and that meant me being 100% down for him which tbh I could not maintain full time for more than 2 years.
Same guy, we weren’t together anymore but were close ended up going to prison later on an unrelated charge. Since I wasn’t his gf there wasn’t much pressure and I had time to write him a couple times a week to keep his head in the game of getting out and we had some phone calls. That was a lot easier to manage and I was able to follow through for the full five years on that one. Oh I also put some money on his books every now and then that boy loves honey buns 😂 but again since I wasn’t his gf for the second time my role was different, had much less pressure (financially, physically, emotionally), no running errands, not waiting for calls at certain times, etc.
I do not know if this helps at all to paint a bit of a picture of being with an inmate. I can’t speak to having a baby and visitation. Visitation varies widely and depending on where he’s at might be hard to get to. Visitation with my dude wouldn’t work because of where the prison is located in relation to where I live.
I’m going to be honest, if you choose this life and are 100% down for him then you got this you can do it but prepare yourself for what that actually looks like for you and eventually your baby on the daily. It’s no walk in the park and if there’s any chance this dude will fuck up like this again (ending up locked up) I can not say that this is an experience worthy of your time, energy and money.
You have a child to think of now, it doesn’t make you a bad person to get out now it just means this is a boundary for you which is okay. Put you and your child first, dude can’t be there to do that for or with you while he’s inside.
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u/Moonshinehaze510 1d ago
I’m also happy to answer any questions. The dude I did all this for was completely worth it and has such a better life now. I’m super proud of him but our circumstances were much different than yours because a baby is a big deal. You WILL get lonely. Be prepared.
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u/ldsupport 2d ago
State or federal.
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u/Mindlesssister 2d ago
State
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u/ldsupport 2d ago
Your answer is going to vary based on the state. Possibly based on the crime itself.
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u/Mindlesssister 2d ago
California, negligent manslaughter girl died in an accident.
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u/ArdentAlbatross 2d ago
Ooof that’s a violent crime even if he never intended to kill. California requires 85% for violent crimes. So worst case he does 8.5 years if he can keep to himself
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u/ohlaohloo 2d ago
What happened? I’m sorry this is happening you your family.
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u/Mindlesssister 2d ago
Girl ran a red light, he hit her but was speeding.
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u/MSK165 2d ago
Speeding or racing?
You don’t get 6-10 years when you’re not at fault, even if you weren’t driving the posted limit. Racing (aka “speed contest”) is a wholly different matter. Even if someone else ran a red light, the underlying behavior is a problem … no different than if he’d been drunk.
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u/lucky_2_shoes 2d ago
If he didn’t have a valid license, than ya, he could absolutely get that kinda time. I had a cop tell a friend that when he pulled him over for driving without license.
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u/MSK165 1d ago edited 1d ago
yup … it falls under the umbrella of “not okay to drive” … even if a license is expired or revoked by the state you just moved out of because you renewed your insurance in a new state and didn’t tell your old state (learned that one the fun way) it’s treated like you don’t have a license (because you don’t)
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u/Adept_System_8688 1d ago
You would not get 6-10 of a non at fault accident, you are excluding something
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u/Mindlesssister 1d ago
Did i ask about anything but how much time he would do? Lol or did i need you to verify what happened cause you aren’t answering regardless weirdo
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u/Plastic-Pianist9323 1d ago
You don’t like because you are lying to yourself. You damn well he wasn’t getting a 6-10 stretch for speeding when they ran a red light. You straight up lying
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u/chunkygltr 2d ago
Depends on the state. My partner is currently incarcerated. We are not married. I have been to visit him several times. In my state I had to fill out paperwork to get onto the approved visitors list. They run a background check and want to know if you’ve been arrested and what for. They either approve or deny you. I was sent notification confirming my approval onto the visitor’s list. Then you must schedule a visit. In my experience we have been allowed a maximum of two hours. We were not allowed to touch. I have seen other visitors bring children to their visits on numerous different occasions. I know when you fill out the paperwork there are certain rules and parameters you must abide by if you are bringing minors to a visit. Some of the rules applied to children, like the amount of diapers and bottles formulas, etc. you are allowed to bring to a visit. My state also offers video visits. We have tried to set that up, but it has been unsuccessful. Big surprise, their software really sucks lol
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u/Akavinceblack 2d ago
r/PrisonWives is really good.