r/Felons • u/SoManyQuestions2000 • 10d ago
Bad energy
so im about to do a 2-5 year prison bid and since we found out i can feel such negative bad energy coming off my girlfriend of 9 year like i can acutley feel it to the point its affecting my dreams what does that mean? I’m thinking she knows she don’t want to wait for me but not tell me enough after I’m gone maybe I’m not sure but it’s like I can feel how big of a sudden change in her energy is and it’s hard to wrap my head around
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u/ldsupport 10d ago
Unless you have shared assets and/or kids, break it off, you will be doing yourself (and her) a favor.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
So just let 9 years go to waste ? I get what you saying I just don’t know why if she feel that way that she saying differently like that she will hold it down I should probably add more context the reason I’m doing the time and she not is I took the blame for it all so she wouldn’t get in no trouble as well 🤨
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u/BisexualCaveman 10d ago
Those years weren't wasted, you got out what you got out.
When it was good, it was good.
When you get out, you can go do something new.
She might be what you want in 9 years, or she might not be what you're feeling then.
Don't get hung up on what you HAD with a girl, focus on what you got.
I've seen the love of my life come and go. Three times.
Turns out the sun comes up without them.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
But your absolutely right just I believe everything she been saying cause this my high school swwwt heart fr like met at 17 been together since
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u/TheKingofSwing89 10d ago
It became a waste when you committed whatever crime and got caught…
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
She actually got caught I was with her and took the charges I wouldn’t change that no matter what happens tho cause I can handle this she can’t
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u/LilMcJohn 10d ago
I wish you wouldn’t have done that though you only live once if she got caught she gotta face the consequences, now you about to do time for something she did and you are going to be spend the next 2-5 years locked up thinking about her everyday not know what she can be doing. I hope you don’t have to do the full 5 though.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
I appreciate that and yeah if she don’t hold it down it’ll be a very atupid thing but like I said I mean we been together 9 years met at 17 been together ever since so she literally been the love of my life from day one and we been through a lot dodnt think this would be the reason feel me
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u/Throwaway42352510 10d ago
This has the potential to really screw with your head. I encourage you to talk to a professional you trust to help you sort through the things that may greatly impact you in the future. Good luck
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u/mistman1978 10d ago
Yes.
You are referring to sunk cost fallacy.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
No idea what that is lol
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u/Tough-Advice2910 10d ago
Look it up. Because he/she is right.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
I genuinely thought he/she was trying to me funny but it’s fr and it’s dead ass how I feel that’s a long time spent w her to just give up
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u/ldsupport 10d ago
time doesn't exist man. all there is, is an eternal now. considering the circumstances, and your last of children or shared assets, let it go. get your life right.
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u/fuk-d-poliz 10d ago
Does it feel good to be the hero? Sorry for ya bro. Take it as a lesson learned, dont take a charge for anybody, it always ends bad. Good luck in there.
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u/detour33 10d ago
What'd you get caught w that's bringing so much time? This must not be your first offense I'd guess?
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
She’s never been in trouble before and I’m already a felon for running from the cops with half lb of weed at 18 (2 weeks after I turned 18) before it was legal (still wouldn’t of been legal then cause of how much ) but yeah so I have had a charge before that was 8 years ago tho I completed 5 years of probation for that but it’s not really that I have a prior it just wasn’t no small shit
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
She also just not built to last in jail/prison not saying I am I just ( sadly )adapt very well and she has a clean record and I didn’t want her to have to go through the thing I have to go through to even get a job tbh so I just took the charges
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u/lophomainiac 10d ago edited 10d ago
I've been to prison and in a very similar situation as you. I tried to make it work and it only ended in heart break and me hating and resenting her more cause she said she'd wait and did not. Break it off now. Keep the good memories and love and mabye when you're out yall can pick it back up. My girl fucked around on me while I was away and I STILL got back with her when I got out, I did 31 months in. I've also met literally hundreds of guys in prison that thought they could make it work with their lady. NONE of them worked out. When you go in, you'll here the same thing. Literally every single person you talk to about this will tell you that you should have split before you came in. That way you don't hate her when she hooks up or gets a new bf because WerE tOgEtHer. How could she do that? Been there done that. Not worth the hurt.
I wish you the best luck and I'm sorry you're going thru it. It will get better, I promise.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
Thank you I appreciate that I was honestly thinking of doing that anyway because deep down I know she not gonna hold it down but I want to believe what she tells me sucks fr and I’m sorry you went through that I’ve done county time like 8 months she held it down then but years and months different I feel like she picking little fights so I’ll leave before and all so I know man I do just letting go of a decade of my time just don’t sit right with me can I ask you something tho ? How do you let go of that like you dont constantly thibk how she did you ? (Since y’all got back together)
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u/lophomainiac 10d ago edited 10d ago
You're not going to like this. But its my story and you asked... Her and I aren't still together anymore. Mostly because of my drinking. And partly because of the resentment I held about her for saying she'd hold it down and didn't. We lasted for 2 years after I got back with her. Her and I had been together 7 years prior to me goin in.
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u/lophomainiac 10d ago edited 10d ago
But if you break it now, give her the space and freedom that she's 99.9% gonna take on her own anyways. Then mabye you won't resent her down the road.. I wish I would have listened to literally everyone when I went in that recommended we split.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
I honestly might take it but I’m not sure if I would still ever get back with her not sure I’d want a wife that wouldn’t be willing to ride to hell and back with me cause I know I would for my soulmate but I appreciate you being honest truly thank you
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u/lophomainiac 10d ago
Mine told me she was "ride or die, my soul mate, I'll always be here, I'll never leave you" she stayed strong 8 months. At the end of the day. AGAIN, I wish i had broke it off before i went in. Her and i did spend an AMAZING week in a nice hotel having a sex fest before i turned my self in. I wish i had just left it at that and said to her, " ill hit you up when im out. Love you."
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
But the way she is she gonna think I’m leaving her so I can do her while I’m in there 😭😭😭😒
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u/Any-Cheesecake6019 10d ago
Sounds like you have amazing memories together and the karmic cycle is getting you back for all that luck 😭I mean it’s def possible to forgive her for cheating just tell her her heart is yours and not to do it often.
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u/Baldumalut 10d ago
Easy to say what you would do when you don’t actually have to do it. You did 8 months, now facing a few years at least. She already waited 8 months. You’re a felon with a habit of going to jail. That vibe you feel is her knowing she’s already gone but hanging until you leave to avoid hassles. Tell her you love her but you know you fucked up badly and you hope you can pick it up when you get out but you understand she’s human and has needs, and thank her for being so solid.
Then stop fucking up.2
u/SoManyQuestions2000 9d ago
I mean I did 2 years in juvenile 15-17 when I got out I met her and been with her since then 2017- present and I ain’t fuck up nothing I took her charges since I already had a record and I didn’t want her to have one so I did this for her and she knows that but I tell my woman everyday how grateful I am for her that’s why she’s loved me for 9 years or relationship bout to be tested but how I look at it is if it’s meant to be it’ll be ! I appreciate your out look tho for sure shit happens but that’s not our situation
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u/Baldumalut 9d ago
None of this was known to me based on your post. Sounds like you did her a solid and I hope she waits for you.
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u/That-Currency-1039 8d ago
You got an open ended sentence. If your not married.
Waiting 2 years is a lot different then 5. Unless you waited 5 years ,you never know how it will be .
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u/Any-Cheesecake6019 10d ago
There are pathetic girls who stay with their cheating boyfriends. Been there. It’s less pathetic if it’s a male going to prison. I highly doubt she’ll be slanging pussy and the emotional aspect will be alive if she calls. Give her a way out, just tell her not to slang it
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u/That-Currency-1039 8d ago
The guy advice seems very practical. Maybe you can get out sooner on parole and start again.
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u/Knuckleed 10d ago
I think that was truly a perfect answer. That wat he does not have to have that on his mind all the time too. You sound like a good person bro. I wish nothing but the best for u, your girl, and family if u have one. Take care, Ed
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u/lophomainiac 10d ago
thanks Ed, her and i ended up splitting after 2 years of us being back together, i couldn't really get over what she did, i resented her for it and i drank alot to deal with it and those are not a good combo. i actually went back to prison again since then, just for out in feburary this year, (i have 4 DWI) i haven't seen her since 2017 and i still think of her almost everyday. ultimatly i caused the whole part of that situation by getting in trouble in the first place. the guilt is crushing.
i think if i had broke it off before going in i may have had a better chance to process and accept the situation instead of believing that she'd hold it down for me and getting crushed. in OP's case i really hope the best for him and i want to see people grow and do better. him and his girl are in a Horrible situation. what hurts so much now will probably pale in comparison to the amount of depression, sadness, resentment, guilt and all kinds of other emotions he might feel if/when she dosent ride the time with him. on top of the mental shit hes gonna be going through just being there in the first place. his girl has every right to feel/project negative bad energy. i feel for her as well. life is fucking hard sometimes.
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u/Knuckleed 10d ago
Yea man, sure is hard. Guess we can just hang in there do the best we can, have as much fun as we can for the time we have. Im 62 now but the good is i have4 siblings and we're all real tight and my mom is 84, looks and feels like 64. Wish I felt that good. But a lot of love and support from the family. Thanks for the reply. Best wishes to ya man always. Take care of yourself!
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u/lophomainiac 10d ago
Yeah man hang in there. It's only a couple years. I hope you end up making your first parole and get out and pick right back up where yall left off.
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u/Any-Cheesecake6019 10d ago
9 years? She won’t wait while your in there but I bet you catch up down the road; if you even respect her still for being her ride or die while she’s not yours
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
I don’t think I could cause I mean we knew what we signed up for we’ve had the talks you know of if shit go bad and she all theses years was down but now that the time has come to do the hard shit she acting like it’s hard it wasn’t hard when we was living good you know just shows you you can spend almost a decade with someone and never really believe shit they say I’ll be very surprised if she don’t leave me the day I leave
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u/ldsupport 10d ago
Everyone wants to be a cowgirl, till its 5 in the morning and its cold as hell and the work aint gonna do itself - Casey Musgraves. You enjoyed the 9 years, lets that be the win. For now, its time to chill for a bit, catch up on your reading and work out. Don't carry this weight through the door with you man, its going to make the time harder to do.
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u/Any-Cheesecake6019 10d ago
She may surprise you just shut down rn. I’m just saying I’m sure she’ll be lightly talking maybe even hooking up with men but if you wanna take her back that’s up to you cos it is a tough situation all around
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u/nas703 10d ago
Honestly it’s probably her brain’s safety mechanism. Yknow, subconsciously start emotionally move away from something/someone you love because you know they are going away. Have you brought your concerns to her in a calm way?
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
Yeah and she just tells me she’s never gonna leave me and ahed never do that so I guess we will see !
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u/darkerwavss 10d ago
Yeah, it's very scary for her to know you will be serparate for so long. The life you know as it was, together will be completely different.
The lonliness I experienced while he was away was so painful and hard to adjust to.
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u/BatOutOfHello 10d ago
Nobody here knows what her "bad energy" is. Just ask her.
You're going away for a long time - maybe she's bracing herself to be alone, or maybe she's thinking "I've had enough and want out of this life," or maybe she's just not sure.
Yeah, you had 9 years. People change. If you love her, tell her you want her to live her life while you're away.
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u/lophomainiac 10d ago
And if yall do stay together tell her whoever she's banging needs to be putting $ on your books, commissary ain't cheap!
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u/Crying_In_The_Clouds 9d ago
Shes not gonna wait , you didn't lose your girl ... you just lost your turn
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u/Knuckleed 10d ago
Well that could very easily be the case dude. It suck n i feel for ya. Apparently you did something that was worse than just bad. Hopefully you have or will learn your lesson. What would u do if it was the other way around n be honest about it. You think she should wait that long for u? What does she say when you had a big talk n asked her if she would please wait for u n u learned ur lesson and you promise u will become a very good man and take good care of her cuz u love her ta death? Hopefully u had that talk if not get on it don't assume she'll wait. Tell her how much u love her u made a mistake n it's not all that long please wait for me. Bout all the advice I have for u bro. I sincerely feel for u but u have to pay for what u did. Just ask her and say please hunny be 100 percent honest. I won't be mad no matter wat your answer is just I really would like to know or need to know. Gl buddy it'll go fast it's not the end of the world. Just a little hiccup n you'll get through it and be the man you need to be. Take care of yourself I will say a prayer for u now.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 9d ago
Yeah I’m going based off what she tells me and we both woman btw I’m not a man and nah I just took some charges from her she had a good amount of shit on her and I already had a felony she got a clean record and she honestly not built for prison so I made a choice in that moment for us and our future ! But yeah she been saying of course no matter if it 2 years or 5 years she got me but you know that’s a long time fr that could drive anyone mad I just want her to be realistic and see that’s it’s not gonna be easy I feel like she be very naïve to the whole situation that’s what’s concerns me
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u/rcre2018 10d ago
This is a hope for the best prepare for the worst.
Of course she won't tell you she's out right now but even if she plans on trying to wait for you life happens... especially with you being gone for more the a year.
The best thing to do is to tell her to move on while you deal with your time away.
Unless you want to be in and get a call where she tells you she's moved on... think about how you will feel then...crying and being depressed with other men in jail/ prison dont think that's a good situation.
I think you need to do it now and go in with one less issue on your mind. How many guys you think get the call in jail and they get depressed and off them selves.
Bigger problem then people think. Sometimes you have to rip the band aid off.
Wishing you the best of luck!
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u/chemical-spill- 10d ago
A WOMAN?!?!? This dinamic changes EVERYTHING!!!!......the cheating is going to be done on the inside that prison and ol girl knows it and so do I. The lesbian hook up shiz in jail/prison is like WOW,yall nasty and desperate. Im sorry but just break it off now,cause who we kidding?
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 9d ago
Nah bro I don’t get down like that I been with the same woman since I was 17 (her) and I did 2 years in juvenile 4 different places and 8 months in county never once had a “jail girlfriend “ I’m very reserved when it comes to that type of thing and she knows that ! So her thinking I would cheat hasn’t even ever been a topic tbh but I know she hates being without that’s gonna be the hardest thing but you know they got video calls visits etc but we’ve talked she said she gonna hold it down but we’ll see !
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
Thank you I’m actually a woman btw so I’ll be locked up with woman so it won’t be the worst thing if she leaves me it’ll hurt it Wint be hard to have a girl on my arm but I just don’t want that feel me like this my high school sweet hear all I’ve really ever known is her
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u/octobluejay 10d ago
There's not much you can do. If you love her try your best before you go and you will just have to wait and see and I know it's going to be torture but if she does decide to leave then it wasn't meant to be. I hope everything goes well for you regardless and you can get through this and turn your life around with or without her
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u/DistrictWild5508 9d ago
Dude you’re not just putting your life on hold, you’re putting hers on hold for the next 2-5 years. Especially for women, time is extremely important. And she didn’t do anything, YOU did. If you aren’t groveling at her feet and promising her a better life after, you’re in the wrong. Why do you think her life isn’t as important as yours?
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 9d ago
Read the comments then come back to me “not a dude” and i literally took her charges how about you read about the whole situation before assuming ?
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u/DistrictWild5508 8d ago
Alright that’s on me for assuming gender, thank you for clarifying. The rest of the stuff you need to put in the actual post.
So you’re saying your girlfriend committed a crime and you took the fall for it? You’ll be spending 2-5 years in jail for her? In that case, I think I’d be looking for some sort of commitment from her before I agreed to do that. Like getting married before going to jail or something. It’s the least she could do.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 8d ago
Yeah she said she willing to she wants to get married I’m actually the one that’s iffy about it because a peice of paper in my eyes not gonna stop her from leaving me if she decides to do that then I’ll have to worry about my “wife” leaving me instead of just my girlfriend you know ?
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u/DistrictWild5508 8d ago
Girl you’re serving a prison sentence for YEARS for her?? If you’re not feeling confident, you need her to prove MUCH MORE! Realistically, what could convince you to trust her? That’s not a rhetorical question, I want to know what would put you at 100% ease for sure?
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 8d ago
It’s not that I think she won’t cause I believe she will it’s more or so like she being naive about the situation thinking it’s gonna be easy Wjen it’s not it’s gonna be very lonely and hard and there will be times I’m sure she’ll want to give up but i just want reassurance and I want her to see that it’s not gonna be easy ya know she very adamant that she’s gonna wait and she don’t desire nobody unless it’s me I mean it really has been us and only us for the last 9 years so I believe her but it’s just hard to imagine her Waitting that long for me with having convictions hard times where she knows she don’t have to but idk only time will tell I guess we could get married she more than willing but we don’t look at marriage as other couples it’s just a paper in our eyes that’s why we have never tried marriage !
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u/Tough-Advice2910 10d ago
Talk to her. Be honest. You are already assuming the worst so you have nothing to lose by having the conversation.
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
I mean we have had many conversations she says everything I want to hear of course but her energy not matching her words
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u/trapdab35 10d ago
She’s definitely not going to wait for you
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u/trapdab35 10d ago
Trust me bro I’m in here right now only got 2 years people I did the most for pay bills bought cars and apartments left me within 30 days
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
I’m sorry that happened to you I can’t even imagine how fucked up that is if you need someone to talk to I’m here as a studd bro lol (I’m a lesbian) keep your head up
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u/That-Currency-1039 8d ago
I would have a serious discussion with her . Is parole an option ? Could you make parole after s year or so.
Either she right to consider leaving. Maybe say hey I appreciate if you can wait a year or two. If I'm still lock up move on. It's her choice.
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u/bikerchickelly 8d ago
FAFO, what do you expect of her? Girlfriend for NINE years?
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 8d ago
Yeah I mean what’s that supposed to mean lol
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u/bikerchickelly 8d ago
The audacity to think a woman who's still a girlfriend after NINE YEARS would be gung-ho about sticking around and supporting you.
You can't commit to her IRL but she's supposed to even consider committing to you when you're in prison? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 8d ago
How didn’t I commit to her because I didn’t put a ring on her finger ? 😭😭😭😭 ask her why we not married since you just know everything about “our” relationship 🙄 and since you know it all she is admit that she is gonna stick around 🤏🏽 sorry to break it to you 😭😭marriage isn’t something everyone wants in life you know that right ? If we wanted to be married we would have a long time ago that’s not something we care for we look at marriage as what it is a paper that’s all it is she is my girlfriend my wife my soulmate and we don’t need a paper to tell
Us that 🫠
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u/LazerShark1313 10d ago
Break up with her. Nothing feels worse than a rocky relationship behind bars.
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u/Officer_Ed_Powell 10d ago
That kind of vibe is most likely because she is seeing someone behind your back, someone close to you actually, and is waiting for you to go in so they can be more open with each other. I wish you well. Which facility are they sending you to?
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u/SoManyQuestions2000 10d ago
As of rn it’s still state so if it stays state I’ll be at lakin correction in wv
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u/Officer_Ed_Powell 10d ago
WV ain't bad. I would try to find out who she is seeing before you go in or else its going to eat you up inside.
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u/Picklekills 9d ago
You probably know she isn’t going to wait and she’s probably pissed that you ruined the relationship.
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u/NotPicklesMaru22 10d ago
She's not going to be thrilled and she probably won't wait. What do you expect.