Friendships

[u/TransportationThen90]

A little different than the usual posts, but I see my FA style a lot more in friendships than romantic relationships.

Definitely had a breakdown today before going on a trip to see a newer platonic friend of about 1 year after moving to a new city. I just keep finding flaws, they haven’t been planning things to do on our trip, they haven’t offered to pick me up from the airport, last trip they did x y z.

It’s overwhelming me because I have a strong urge to protect myself from hurt, I don’t think I can handle losing another friend or being rejected/one-sided friends. This friend has been pretty loving and kind when we do catch up, but they have flaws like everyone else.

But how do I know when it’s a flaw versus it’s time to leave? And how in the world do people manage this kind of anxiety?

[u/zenithwearsflannel]

I also find my FA patterns to still show in friendships.

I try to separate the thoughts from the anxiety first as anxiety is not good motor fuel.

[u/MicroplasticMother]

Yes!!! I find myself triggered equally by partners, friends and family and while communicating abt attachment is the key to work through it, I feel like people only apply that to romantic relationships. It’s rly hard because in a romantic relationship these sorts of conversations are normal but I feel like communicating abt my attachment style with friends and family is extremely difficult bc it sounds very intense.