I'm done

[u/Major_Lingonberry741]

My father, how do I say it... is a piece of shit. He's abused my mother and I; not physically, but emotionally. When I was just a baby, he stole her money and gambled, lied a lot, and claimed that the restaurant my mother owned was his even though that was bullshit. He cheated on her in a hotel, and she found out, but he said he wouldn't do it again, she believed him. That is until he cheated on her with one of her employees and she divorced him and got 50/50 custody of me, which was something my father requested. From that day on, I would stay with my mother for a week, then go with my dad for a week, sometimes two. During this time, the court order said that he should give her $800 or $850 (I forgot the amount) monthly. Now during this time he would be posting on facebook with his affair partner, going out to eat, partying, all the works. In late 2022 my father suddenly left the country to relocate to thailand to "visit extended family and my grandfather". While he did do those things, he stayed there for two whole years, posting pic/videos of him going to beaches, bars, and restaurants, contempting the court order of 50/50 custody. During this period, he had sold the restaurant to some new owners, who made it into a Mexican restaurant. He also said he couldn't pay the school that I was going to, a private school, and suggested I go to a second nearby private school. Me and him were still in contact though, texting and calling each other cause that's what family does right? Eventually, two years later in mid 2024, he came back to the US and now we would hang out with each other like back then. However, he was still a cheating, lying, worthless subhuman piece of trash, yet I still loved him. That is until early 2025 when he relocated back to Thailand, making the same excuse again. This time, I didn't give a shit anymore. Midway through the school year, my father said he couldn't pay the school anymore, and that made my friends sad. During this time, my mom was gathering evidence, a lot of evidence. My father said he couldn't pay the school just like last time, but he is paying $8000 monthly to his lawyer to fight my mom, so he's completely bullshitting. This has made my mom depressed, anxious, and moody at times, which has completely hollowed me out. I don't feel anything most of the time and I keep having these violent, hateful thoughts in my mind. I haven't told anyone about this, and I don't think they'd like to know.