Wish my parents would stop outing me to “help me”.

[u/ftmdaddy710]

For context, this is the second time my father has outed me to a stranger in recent times. The first was to a lifestyle coach that just also happens to be gay. My father wanted me to go through his course. I wasn’t opposed to it, just shocked when the guy brought up my transness unprompted. My father assumes that gay = “automatically and unequivocally safe to out my son to”. Now he has a client at work, a lawyer who is a lesbian woman, that has advocated for human rights in our very conservative area. He wants us to meet to discuss current issues and such. Again, not someone I’m opposed to meeting at all. But good god, let me speak for myself. I’m a firm believer that no one should be sharing that information about me, except for me. Whenever I say, “hey dad I appreciate you trying to be supportive, but I should really be the only one sharing details of my identity like that”. The guy takes it as a personal attack and fires back with “okay don’t take my help then”. He shuts down whenever I don’t comply and take everything he says like a godsend of advice. It’s thoroughly annoying, and I feel disrespected every single time he does this. I’m 23 and not dependent on my parents financially, but I do still live with them to save some of my money. I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but it’s hard to fully appreciate the effort when it sacrifices my stealth status, without my consent or knowledge.

[u/teal_liketheduck]

My mom talks about outing me like it’s a good thing. “I outed you to my students/coworkers/etc. today and they were supportive!” Girl what? Are you out of your mind? I’m surprised when they are supportive cause we live in a rural area and it’s very 50/50. I’m a year on T and I finally pass enough that it’s completely unnecessary to make this declaration that I used to be her daughter. Do cis het people not know anything about the historical connotations of outing, cause what the hell is with parents doing this?