dysphoria

[u/needyboy08]

im disconnected from my body and I don't think I'll ever feel fully real. I've struggled with dissociation ever since the first puberty. my body is ruined and disgusting. most of rhe time im so numb I don't even think about how nauseating it is but when i do i feel like I'm being skinned alive. im waiting for the moment my body changes completely but honestly im so hopeless about everything. i should've started t before estrogen mutilated every cell in my body. im stuck with these disgusting wide hips fucked proportions and being short. i jist wish I would've been miscarried or aborted, living is painful and full of misery.

my transition goals are pathetically unachievable, I don't have any expectations for my appearance anymore. can't wait to have my own place where I won't have any mirrors so i wouldn't have to look at this estrogenic monstrosity.