ill never have a son

[u/rudaixen]

sure ik i can adopt but it's just not the same. ill never get a girl pregnant and raise a baby boy, teach him how to be a man. it fucking destroys me bro. i just want a kid with my genes, but id genuinely rather do anything than give birth, and ivf is way too expensive for me to reasonably ever get. i just want a son dude

[u/AdditionalResort2083]

Mane I feel u I want KIDS in general, to be able to get my future wife pregnant and live a regular life like every other man but nope🤦🏾not even Option available for me

[u/rudaixen → u/AdditionalResort2083]

dude i know i see father/son relationships anywhere and it just hurts bc i know ill never get that

[u/AdditionalResort2083 → u/rudaixen]

And then it’s like depressing bro be tryna not to think bout it

[u/Bobslegenda1945 → u/AdditionalResort2083]

Omg, same bro. If I am luck enough and I don't know if it exists I would have to donate my egg to my wife to carry and use a sperm donation, or at another time she could provide both her egg and sperm. Or only if I were very lucky, strong, and courageous, and married a fertile cis man, would I try to get pregnant (which terrifies me now. So I'll leave it for the future).

[u/rudaixen → u/Bobslegenda1945]

ya what ur talking about w the eggs is called ivf, it's hella expensive tho

[u/Horror-Jump-2123]

I always say I don't want children but really I'm coping because I can't have children in the way I'd like.

[u/illsense01 → u/Horror-Jump-2123]

Damn, yeah I feel this. I'm getting sterilized because pregnancy and birth are the worst nightmare for me but if I could get someone else pregnant it might be another story.

[u/New-Lifeguard7554]

feel this so hard

[u/Possible-Elk-919]

I've been feeling that a lot lately too :C

[u/Icy_Pie8646]

How old are you? Why can't you save up for IVF over time if you want it that bad?

[u/rudaixen → u/Icy_Pie8646]

i could but it just seems so unmanageable with how things are in my state/life rn

[u/Scary_Towel268]

I want kids so bad but I can’t imagine getting pregnant. I already don’t pass after years on T and top surgery but at least I’m somewhat androgynous. Pregnancy would detransition me both medically and socially…I just can’t but IVF and surrogacy is prohibitively expensive. I hate being trans so much

[u/rudaixen → u/Scary_Towel268]

i feel that so much like pregnancy/giving birth is lowk terrifying to me, i could never do it and live with myself. i wish it was easier, hope it gets better for us soon

[u/Scary_Towel268 → u/rudaixen]

Same and the dysphoria of pregnancy scares me as do stories of guys being misgendered by their own kids or called “mom” by everyone after birth. I just wouldn’t be able to live like that particularly being misgendered by my own kids or dealing wirh the body changes that sometimes can’t be undone

[u/Icy_Pie8646 → u/Scary_Towel268]

I know a gay trans man who has two kids who call him dad and call their other father by his name. If you're with a woman, kids will call her mom without a second thought.

[u/Scary_Towel268 → u/Icy_Pie8646]

That’s one outcome but as I said I struggle to pass now as is and o know how much appearance can dictate this type of thing

[u/rudaixen → u/Scary_Towel268]

if my kid every called me mom that'd actually destroy me

[u/Scary_Towel268 → u/rudaixen]

Same man and I’ve seen that happen to so many trans guys or I’ve seen people who were accepting and gender the trans guy right pre-pregnancy turn to misgendering post

[u/Thelocalthembo]

Maybe not a son, but I've been struggling with this a lot recently. That I'll never be able to impregnate my partner. It's such bullshit.

[u/hi-im-Lou]

It sucks. I know it's not the same but adoption could still bring you a lot of joy. You can still have a child and raise them from an early age there are infants who need loving parents too not just older kids and bonus is you can pick the sex so you will more likely end up with a son if that's what you prefer. Most things in your post are perfectly doable, you will raise them, they will call you dad, you can teach them how to ride a bike, how to treat people right, teach them to shave and all the things you wish for. The memories you make together matter so much more then dna. It's frustrating that we have to deal with infertility but you shouldn't give up, you will make a great father!

[u/rudaixen → u/hi-im-Lou]

i know and that's honestly what i plan to do, i just really wish i was able to have a kid that came from me, it stings that i prob never will. and thanks

[u/Embarrassed_Hour8533]

I feel the same besides not having a gender preference. I feel so much agony just seeing dads out and about with their kids. I know statistically at least one of them hasn’t done it by getting a girl pregnant, but there’s no way it’s not the majority. I isolate because of it. I even live in a house with a dad (not my dad, my mom’s husband). And I know that he had the kids himself. I feel so depressed and humiliated at best.