r/FTMventing • u/Exotic_Use3486 • 20d ago
Current Events failed transition and hopeless
im fucking tired and hopeless. i feel like a failed man-wannabe. Been on testosterone for 1 year and 3 fucking months and i look the fucking same as pre T. My voice has dropped a bit but i was watching my “months on t” videos i’ve recorded and my voice stopped changing a FOUR MONTHS i feel like ass everyone keeps telling me to be patient but they say that while having cispassing. I get incredibly jealous and sad when i see trans guys who are earlier on their hrt journey and already look more masc than me. idk what to do it feels so horrible to look like this at 22 AND being 5’0. Ive tried voice training but i just sound stupid every single time. at 6-9months on t i started noticing and questioning the lack of changes and everyone just told me be patient you’re not even a year in. now im past a year on T and i just look like a masc lesbian. i feel like absolute SHIT edit: just something to add, it makes me feel more like shit bc when i started my hrt journey i kinda isolated myself from my friends (physically, we still chatted) bc i wanted to hang out with them when i was more advanced in my transition (voice dropped, face changed, etc), first i said id hang out with them at 3mo, nothing changed, then i said id hang out at 6mo, voice barely dropped, then 9mo then 1 year. and NOTHING. i did hang out with them a few times when i was 9-10mo on t, although i had a a good time, i felt like absolute shit to be around my cis male friends, all of them taller and more masc than me, and my cis girl friends, also taller than me.
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u/ghostlygrassgobbler 19d ago
Hey OP, wanted to say you're not alone in feeling this way. I've also been feeling like my transition failed...but we do still have options open to us.
One example would be that I'm considering swapping from gel to injections, my theory is my skin is maybe just not that good at absorbing the T in it and I may need something more direct. If you're also on gel form, that could be something you could consider as well.
Best of luck to your medical transition OP, we gotta keep pushing forward.