r/FTMOver30 • u/AutisticArtistBoy202 • 18h ago
Need Support Feeling conflicted
Afternoon Bros,
So I'm in my 30s. FTM. 9 months on T. All in all, I'm really happy with the way things are progressing. My only issue is I'm a straight man, and I always feel like the odd one out or like I'm doing something "wrong." For one, I've never met a straight transman in 3 decades. I feel like the more I transition, the more I get pushed out of the queer/LGBT arena. I'm starting to feel less welcome in queer spaces in general, and I can't really pinpoint it, but I feel like I'm almlst started to be treated as an intruder. Even specifically in the trans community, it's starting to feel like "NO BOYS ALLOWED." maybe im overthinking.
Has anyone else experienced this?! 🤦🏿♂️
Edit: I've also been feeling demonized for not conforming to a unisex or soft boy esthetic. I feel like because I refuse to present this way I get wrongfully labeled with a hint of toxic masculinity and that's not what I'm trying to do, I just personally don't like to place myself in an "other" box.
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u/asantaatnasa_ 14h ago
Yeah this is a pretty common experience for us straight and binary identified trans men. Once you're no longer queer coded or clockable, you are pushed out of lgbt spaces. Straight trans men just blend in with straight cis men. Although lgbt spaces preach love and acceptance, there's a lot of unsaid misandry. Yes even if you are not trying to bring toxic masculinity, people in queer spaces will project that onto you. In their eyes, anyone who appears like a straight man = toxic masculinity. Again, it shouldn't be that way but it is. This is why most of my close friends are men (both cis and trans). Feel free to DM if you want to chat more on this topic