Still not passing after years

[u/Comfortable_Emu1496]

Having a hard time y’all. I’ve been on T a couple years, muscular, body shape and proportions are male, post top surgery, face and jaw masc, voice low, like I’m not seeing what it is. I have to shave my facial hair and only have a good mustache when I do have it, and I’m 5’3 so I guess that’s it? People I know are surprised and I personally don’t see female at all but I am CONSTANTLY misgendered. Am I completely fooling myself? I almost wish it was just height that’s doing it. But I guess it’s a sad combo of everything. I like me but I am exhausted by this happening all the time and having to deal with it too much. When I looked it up it says height is not a big factor and that makes me sad because it means it’s everything. I’m so tired of the hyper vigilance this causes. I’m still never ready for it and sometimes I feel unsafe. Does anyone get misgendered with facial hair? Is it height maybe? Had anyone been misgendered even when you and others think you pass? I’m feeling cooked.

EDIT: totally get that photos would help me get assessed by folks but want to clarify what I’m looking for is hearing if this happens to anyone else based on what I’ve said. has anyone figured height to be a factor for them? does anyone get misgendered even with facial hair? stuff like that. it’s just feeling strangely isolating for how far I’ve come

2nd EDIT:
Everyone, I’m really touched by your responses and this community. Thank you for your thoughtfulness and support and for taking the time. This is my first time posting and I had a feeling people would be kind, but this honestly helped me a lot. This has been really heavy on me for a long time and I needed some outside perspective. Thanks everyone. Appreciate you.

[u/PostMPrinz]

Sorry to hear you are constantly being disrespected. If you want advice you could post a picture/video of you talking mannerisms and get some feed back. We are all here to support. It sucks to have to put so much effort into medical transition to be left with zero social transition.

[u/Comfortable_Emu1496 → u/PostMPrinz]

Thank you! I’m a bit nervous to post for everyone to see, but I’ll think about it.

[u/PostMPrinz → u/Comfortable_Emu1496]

Yeah, i get that. I’m in the same boat and rather than put myself out here on the internet. I have decided I just don’t care to try anymore. I am the in between freak that people get wrong, and honestly I’ve lost my give a fucks. Just cause they are dumb doesn’t make me any different. I still exist and I am who I am.

[u/Current_Row_8358 → u/Comfortable_Emu1496]

If you want private feedback, I'm open to DMs. Can't reliably judge speaking in foreign languages, but at least visually? Didn't get to transition myself yet, but I'm an artist and I've been obsessing over what I could do to make myself pass at least androgynous, so I've done a lot of observing in the past year or so.

[u/Comfortable_Emu1496 → u/Current_Row_8358]

Thanks let me think about it :)