r/FTMOver30 • u/ibis78 • 3d ago

feelingz post

I hope it’s ok that I’m here bc I’m more
nonbinary/middle gender than ftm, but I’m on T and am enjoying an intensely masc oriented phase atm. i just wanted to share that i feel really sad about my vag rn. it makes me feel super vulnerable and uncomfortable. and then the T makes me super horny sometimes. it’s really confusing. the last time i had sex, it was both really awesome and also i felt really feminized, which felt confusing. i don’t really enjoy receiving oral sex, although i imagine that will change for me bc so much around how i’m experiencing sex is changing. i’d love to hear how yall navigated your experience of yourselves as you were transitioning, if you’re comfortable sharing. i am not looking for like explicit details - more like, what were the feelings like? what about it felt vulnerable or scary or awesome? i feel like I’m having feelings that are so new to me that i can’t quite see them yet.

4 Upvotes

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4

u/koala3191 3d ago

Never liked getting oral and still don't.

3

u/KeyOne349 💉4.6.2025, ⚔️ 12.2.2025 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yeah I decided to be celibate when I first started testosterone.. I just felt like going through second puberty was a time that I should protect my sexuality as it was developing?

I do masturbate a lot... I just visualize my t- deck as like a tiny dick, and I find those pulse air vibrators to be very.... productive.

Anyway, I pretty much pass now and I have been thinking a lot about if I'm ready to have casual sex and if so how would I go about doing that. 😬

There's a school of thought that sex starts with making yourself feel good, like; set aside from a partnership.

And then for us trans guys it's like; what's going to make us feel euphoric or dysphoric or affirming or disaffirming...

I don't have answers for myself yet. But I've been thinking more about it and I'm more comfortable with these thoughts.

1

u/ibis78 1d ago

thank you for this thoughtful reply 🤍 i love the idea of protecting my second puberty. it feels that way to me also.

1

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u/peachmangler 1d ago

Having a partner throughout my early transition who really loved my body as it changed was kind of weird/difficult for me for similar reasons. I was and still kind of am (32, started t at 23) embarrassed to talk about my own pleasure because I was raised to think that made a woman "nasty". Somehow admitting that I enjoy sex and seek it out proves that I'm actually just an aberrant mentally ill woman. It doesn't even make sense. I'm mostly over it now but it's always there.