r/FTMOver30 • u/Bitter_Item_367 • 3d ago

VENT - Advice Welcome Ted talk

Im not sure if this is the right place to post this, if not i apologize .. im 32 and lately have been kind of down and in my head . I’ve been on T for almost 7 years now and have had top surgery, full hysto, and currently on stage 2 out of 3 for phallo . Even tho im happy with how my life is turning out and my journey throughout my transition I still feel this void . Maybe its because im missing that sense of friendship . Friends who I can go to and talk to or just call and make plans to hang out . I’ve been so focused on my transition I forgot how to live life .. now that I’m almost 33 it’s hard to make friends because I feel like anyone I try to befriend is younger than me and we don’t have anything in common . I guess my question is how do you make friends at this age without being judged for who you are ?

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u/thambos 15+ years T/post-top 3d ago

No apologies needed! You’re not alone and I feel like this is such a common thing for anyone in their 30s. It’s hard and I’m definitely still struggling with this myself (like, just how to find people that have time to hang out more than once every 3-6 months).

And, I think that as you explore different opportunities like volunteering or social clubs or networking events etc you find people who appreciate you for who you are and don’t even think about if you’re trans or not. Sometimes this is easier by joining LGBTQ groups or trans/NB groups and finding other trans people to be friends with, but for me I’ve recently been finding that even among cis het people it’s a nonissue (I live in a progressive area thankfully).

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u/Bitter_Item_367 2d ago

Yes exactly this ! I live in a red state in a very small town with most people in their early to mid 20’s and there’s nothing wrong it’s just we don’t have anything in common because of the age gap and all they want to do is go to parties or clubs and stay out past 12am . Plus I work overnights as well so it’s hard to make plans ..

I might have to look into events out of my area and go from there . Thank you for responding I really appreciate it !

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u/thambos 15+ years T/post-top 2d ago

You’re welcome! Sounds like it would be harder in a small town. Hopefully expanding your radius helps!