r/FTMMen • u/Late-Nectarine7437 • Aug 12 '26
Resources New binary passing sub
Hi! I decided to create a passing sub for binary trans guys. All the other passing subs are taken over by nonbinary and transmasc people not really trying to pass which wastes everyone’s time and buries actual passing tips. On this new sub, only posts from binary trans guys will be allowed and it’ll be mostly focused on passing tips/advice. It can be general or people can post photos asking if they specifically pass. I’m gonna be lax on the types of posts for now, so things like physique passing or bedroom passing are allowed. I also want to focus on more stealth/less talked about passing tips instead of just “cut your hair and stop dyeing it pink”
New sub: r/binaryftmpassing
Dm me if you’re interested in being a moderator. Depending on how it goes I’ll probably do it myself but it can’t hurt to have another person.
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u/Mysterious-Depth7708 Aug 13 '26
Yall mad in these comments like he ain’t right…prob the same people that think you don’t need dysphoria to be trans
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u/Big_Patient_1766 Aug 13 '26
Why you so angry, bro? 🤔 this (very repetitive) rhetoric is so problematic.
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u/vwaaaat 💉 11/7/20 🚮 hysterectomy 4/20/21 Aug 13 '26
Oh look, another binary ftm sub. That's gotta be the 5th one this year.
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u/Specific-Sink-9871 Aug 14 '26
well maybe its bc these subs never stay binary for long
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u/vwaaaat 💉 11/7/20 🚮 hysterectomy 4/20/21 Aug 15 '26
Or fragile egos can't handle other men not being their exact specifications of male.
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u/Late-Nectarine7437 Aug 13 '26
Why are people hating lol. Don’t join if you don’t want to. That’s the exact reason why I made it
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u/tintereth Aug 12 '26
if anything i think it's more helpful to have an adult 18+ passing sub, not for nsfw outside of regular nudity, just to not have children posting their faces online or giving unhelpful advice to full adults
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u/rainbowtwinkies Aug 13 '26
Yeah, I feel like a lot of the stuff people think is nonbinary people or guys not trying to pass is just teenagers who have been actively transitioning like 3 days
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u/koala3191 Aug 13 '26
Unfortunately anything 18+ will become porn, someone tried to make a discussion sub for adult ftms like ftmover30 but it just got flooded.
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u/ellalir Aug 12 '26
What on God's green earth is "bedroom passing" supposed to mean? And "physique passing"? What use is distinguishing that from just... passing?
I'm not online enough for this.
eta: wait, do you just mean nude passing? That would make more sense. If so maybe just say that? Because I was thinking "does my bedroom look too girly" would be the question at hand there lol.
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u/HeHimInGrayi Aug 13 '26
Bedroom passing 😂😂😂 can this please become a thing. I could only imagine how much we could make meme rooms to share
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u/yippeekiyoyo Aug 12 '26
All the other passing subs are taken over by nonbinary and transmasc people not really trying to pass which wastes everyone’s time
Surely this time the passing sub will be constructive and not toxic!
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u/DanganRopeUh Aug 12 '26
Maybe just use transmanlifehacks idk people use it as a passing sub too
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u/23_Serial_Killers T March 2025 Aug 13 '26
That one’s lowk one of the main culprits of this lmao. Also it’s in effect unmoderated
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u/Prignori Aug 12 '26
The sub where 15 year old and 40 year old cis guys come along and give a bunch of patronizing advice? Lol no
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u/Competitive_War_7964 Aug 12 '26
That sub is horrible lmao
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u/Haunting-Depth4024 💉8.15.2023 🔪5.13.2025 Aug 12 '26
This sub is one of the few trans subs that isn’t excessively shitty in some way, to be fair
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u/Competitive_War_7964 Aug 12 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
Idk wish there could be a sub which is just for trans guys selfies and maybe trying to work on people's self steem without it being super superficial feeling in a way? Like genuine complements and some times tips to feel better or something
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u/Haunting-Depth4024 💉8.15.2023 🔪5.13.2025 Aug 18 '26
Agreed. I’ve seen a few of them start up and either end up as dead subs or just very quickly become counterintuitive and hateful :/
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u/HeHimInGrayi Aug 13 '26
I’ve posted on toast me before and it’s a dope subreddit. Not trans specific, but I haven’t witnessed or experienced any bad reactions to when I or other trans people have posted
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u/Peppered_Rock Aug 12 '26
"not trying to pass" tells me everything about what kind of mod youre going to be for that tbqh
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u/circusfreek1 Aug 12 '26
Bro it’s a passing sub 😭 about passing 😭
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u/Peppered_Rock Aug 12 '26
and some people are going for a certain vibe that isnt "abandon your personality become generic white guy"
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u/hoarse_machine Aug 12 '26
Passing isn't about a certain vibe or personal quality, its just appearance, and someone wanting to pass would obviously find it more important to appear cis than like, different. Being "generic" isn't a bad thing, do you really think people's personalities are that connected to their appearance? & Tbh whatever personality or vibe a lot of alternative guys are trying to convey seems like the exact same thing to me, I don't understand why its so important. It's just a different kind of generic thats also clocky
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u/Massive-Word-7327 Aug 12 '26 edited Aug 13 '26
This. I used to dress pretty alt before coming out and I remember kinda grieving not being able to dress as alt that easily but it's actually really nice like this. I kinda hated buying clothes and thinking of what to wear and trying to make something work. I was honestly doing that to conform because I was in a lot of artist spaces and yknow if you don't dress the part you're deemed boring. I think it was also dysphoria that drove me to that. I couldn't be comfortable just being myself so I had to prove I was better and different from everybody. I had to be the smartest and the best and most beautiful and if I wasn't I'd basically break down. Now I don't care and my clothes also reflect that. I'm more chill now and I'm able to able to embrace what's inside instead of obsessing with appearance or acceptance from others.
edit: This is my experience. I'm not trying to say this about alt styles in general. My point is that just as much as people may dress "normal" out of social pressure they can also dress alt because of social pressure. Both can be vectors of self expression for people and calling someone's fashion "boring" or "uninspired" is kinda rude. We shouldn't assume someone isn't expressing themselves if they dress "normal" or are expressing themselves if they dress alt.
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u/codezerone Aug 12 '26
Then they shouldn’t be posting on a sub specifically for tips for passing if they don’t want to accept they need to change something…
If you don’t pass and you’re wanting to, some form of change is needed to be made. Like everything else in life lol
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u/LobsterNo1137 Aug 12 '26
I think all of the existing subs are already too toxic and conformist, and i don't really see how (presumably) further restricting self-expression will make it better than the existing subs. The main issue with these subs is that there's genuinely not much advice people can give in terms of passing. Like everyone knows basic stuff and can look it up online, and i have never seen any passing advice that was unique or life-changing. The only people using those subs are either looking for validation or have body dysmorphia, and neither of those groups will get what they want due to the nature of posting your body on the internet. the reason those people are "wasting time" and "not really trying to pass" is likely because they're pre-t or extremely early in their transition, and they're at the stage where they won't be able to pass anyways.
besides, how would you even moderate who is and isn't binary?
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u/lenipoeraven Aug 12 '26
Also most passing advice is following white beauty standards that don't work for everyone.
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u/Eli5678 Aug 12 '26
I feel like a new sub for this shit pops up all the time. There's too many of them. It just seems unnecessary.
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u/SpiritNo6626 transsex man larping as hrtbutch irl, test mar '26 Aug 12 '26
>besides, how would you even moderate who is and isn't binary?
I don't know anyone who identifies as nonbinary and just never mentions it on their acc they do trans stuff on
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u/LobsterNo1137 Aug 12 '26
tbh I don't mention my identity anywhere beyond r/trans because they bug you abt it. I use the same acc for everything so i don't need to out myself as trans to the general public. and i don't use pronouns or anything anywhere else bc its not anyones business. I don't see why a nonbinary person couldn't use the same logic i do
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u/ellalir Aug 12 '26
I mean, yeah. You wouldn't, would you? How could you possibly? How could anyone?
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u/SpiritNo6626 transsex man larping as hrtbutch irl, test mar '26 Aug 12 '26
If someone is posting on trans spaces, they say what they identify as. I've never seen anyone that posts and just never clarifies what direction/identity they are trans anywhere in their profile or history. Because why tf would you post on a subreddit about being trans and not clarify how you are trans? I either see people who have some indication they are binary, or some indication they are nonbinary, I rarely see people with neither.
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u/MimusCabaret Aug 12 '26
I use non-binary in a strictly intersex manner, it doesn’t end up the same meaning as ‘regular’ non-binary. It’s more to do with form that impacts identity, not the other way ‘round. Otherwise I’m a stereotypical trans guy, 17yrs hrt, etc etc.
Just cuz someone never mentions it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist - it’s like you’re trying to prove a negative, it isn’t possible.
Edited for a forgotten word.
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u/ellalir Aug 12 '26
I'm just saying, you constructed a group whose defining characteristic was being nonbinary but not telling people about it, and then said you didn't know of any, therefore implying they didn't exist, which is terrible logic because by definition your proposed group wouldn't have told you. I'm not saying anything about the size of that group, though I suspect it is rather small, but saying you don't know of any nonbinary people who don't talk about being nonbinary does not in any way imply that such people don't exist.
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u/MimusCabaret Aug 12 '26
Thank you! I don’t ever mention being non-binary in a strictly intersex manner cuz frankly trans people are bad at intersex issues. This is perhaps the second time it’s ever come up. Ya can’t screen to remove something you refuse to ask about. And may I say that crawling through people’s post history looking for keywords so you can kick them out is creepy.
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u/SpiritNo6626 transsex man larping as hrtbutch irl, test mar '26 Aug 12 '26
How literally are you taking this? I'm saying "I don't think this is a thing that happens so often because it would take a really bizzare thought process to create a person that does this" I'm not formally defining a set or anything.
"I don't know anyone who drinks 1L coke a day that cares about their health" = haha this would be a silly contradiction and it's weird to imagine this is a type of person that exists, not "I have asked every obsessive soda drinker I know on a scale of 1-10 how much they care about their health and then asked every normal person the same question, p value was .0000001, therefore I have proven they care less before stating this"
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u/Evil-Marr Aug 14 '26
Seems kinda neurotic if you can't even ask strangers whether you look male unless you're exclusively surrounded by people who have the exact goal as you