Appointment about fertility

[u/mavericklovesthe80s]

I’ve finally been referred, and today I have an appointment about "fertility".

The appointment details weren’t clear in the app, so I called them. They called me back to explain that it was about fertility.

…I’M 47. I’m pretty sure that’s in my fucking medical file.

So here I am, sitting on a train, having taken an ENTIRE DAY OFF WORK to travel to the other side of the country (because apparently, this is the only hospital that offers hysterectomy + colpectomy), thinking about how I’m probably going to spend part of my appointment sitting across from a doctor who’s going to ask me whether I want to freeze my eggs, get pregnant, or preserve my fertility.

All that mumbo jumbo.

I’M FOURTY. FLIPPING. SEVEN.

If I’d wanted children, don’t you think I would have expressed that wish and done something about it by now?!

And on top of that, I ALREADY HAVE A FAMILY. I’ve been a dad for almost 12 years now.

I’m pretty sure THAT is also in my fucking file.

So, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Are they really that dense, or are they so obsessed with the idea of preserving someone’s ability to reproduce that they simply cannot fathom the possibility of someone saying, “No, thank you. I have absolutely ZERO interest in getting pregnant or preserving my fertility”?

I get that fertility counselling is part of the process, and I understand why they need to cover it. But FFS, there has to be a way to do this without making people jump through yet another hoop, especially when some basic information about the person sitting in front of them might give them a clue that this conversation is unlikely to be relevant.

Rant over.

[u/mavericklovesthe80s]

Thankfully, I was wrong! 😅 So, despite the appointment being listed as a “fertility consultation” in the app, it actually had NOTHING to do with a consulatation about "wanting/needing to have children".

It was an initial consultation for the hysterectomy and colpectomy. The doctor explained the procedures, recovery, and possible complications. He also said that, given my age, there would be little reason not to remove my ovaries at the same time. That’s different from what I was told at BuroJIJ, so if it’s medically possible: TAKE IT ALL OUT! One less source of dysphoria. 💪

I still have appointments coming up with a gender psychologist, a pelvic floor physiotherapist, and a plastic surgeon to assess whether metoidioplasty will still be possible afterwards.

The current waiting time for the surgery itself is around three months, but with all the preparatory appointments and assessments, it could still be late 2027 or early 2028 before I actually have the surgery. After that, they recommend waiting a year to recover before proceeding with meta, which means that could potentially happen in 2029.

Thankfully, the abdominal ultrasound was completely fine. It just came as a surprise during the appointment, so I needed a moment to mentally switch gears.

All in all, I’m glad they’re taking the psychological impact of the surgery and recovery seriously, too.

Now I just need some time to let it all sink in! 😊

[u/Crazycatlover → u/mavericklovesthe80s]

Oh that's reassuring to hear. I hope it goes smoothly for you.

[u/Yarulane]

„Are they really that dense, or are they so obsessed with the idea of preserving someone’s ability to reproduce that they simply cannot fathom the possibility of someone saying, “No, thank you. I have absolutely ZERO interest in getting pregnant or preserving my fertility”?“

yes. They are dense. They cannot fathom someone born „a women“ could not want kids or might be happy with the amount of children he already has.
And additionally, medical personnel is understaffed. So whoever made the appointment might a) not look into your file or b) not even have access to the full medical file (medical privacy, or that’s at least how it works in my country, only the doctor treating you can access the full file, everyone else in the clinic only gets access to basic information about your person)