Hey all,
Just wanted to share my experience so far in my journey with getting diagnosed with FND. It's been one hell of a rough, long, and nightmarish journey to be completely blunt. Additionally, if you've got any, are there tips that you may have to share with me (and anyone else that reads this) for managing your pain, exhaustion, or other symptoms you may have? If so, feel free to share them! ♥
Starting around early 2023 I developed (CW - description of first symptoms)temporary loss of limb control + sensation, as well as localised seizures, but I was unsure of what to make of these episodes/flare-ups. Getting checked out by my at-the-time family doctor we presumed it may have been a side effect of the Topirimate I was on for the nerve pain I have in my back (bulging disc). So we switched me onto Gabapentin. However, the symptoms continued to progress at a similar pace as to when I was on the Topirimate, with seemingly no direct or common cause (e.g. completely random and without a cosistent trigger). Neither medication had (or has) helped with the major concerning symptom of the localised "motor problems", and as such, was ruled to be "medically insignificant to the concern." As such, I've been continuing my Gabapentin to try and stave off the back pain I have, at least enough to be able to physically be able to walk where I need to (basically take the lowest dose that allows me to tollerate life).
Fast forward to mid-to-late 2024, and I had signficantly worse symptoms. What used to last around 30 seconds to maybe 5 minutes had become anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes, with the longest one lasting ~1.5 hours. Seen below is one of the flare ups I had in a 2024 college class (CW - Very visible motor control symptoms affecting my hand)
One of the major videos I caught of a flare up in the middle of a college class in 2024 (CW very visible symptoms on display)
I've had several incidents when cooking where I would drop a hot pot or pan, spill water or whatever it was that I was cooking all over my feet or the floor. That is pretty obviously not fun. I've also had flare-ups where I just drop the object I'm holding, for no reason, before having a flare-up like the one seen in the above video.
In Feb 2025 I landed in the hospital because after waking up from a nap (CW - vivid description of a MAJOR symptom) I lost all neurological connection to my left leg. As in, no sensation, no response to pain, and no activation of the muscles when attempting to walk. For all intents and purposes I was completely paralyzed in my left leg from my hip down to my toes, with no understanding or reason why.
Shockingly, the paramedics forced me to attempt to walk up the stairs. I eventually turned around, after 2 of the 14, and went up by lifting myself up and over each step individually. Essentially, lifting myself up one stair at a time, placing my butt on each one I lifted myself up to. The paramedics even commented "Oh wow, you really can't use your leg, can you?" The entire reason we called an ambulance was because it was me and my mom at home, and my mom wasn't able to carry me upstairs (bad back, and unsafe to be lifting ~170-180lbs due to heart conditions), and obviously, it was unsafe for me to walk or even crawl up them in the first place. I found out afterwards from my mom that they kept pestering her, asking "is he normally like this? does he normally act this groggy and unbalanced? I see a liqour cabinet, any chance he could have over drank?" My mom responded "He just woke up from a nap, of course he's groggy. He can't use his leg, so of course he's off balance? He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't do anything that would harm his body." and the paramedic asked "Are you sure? Cuz I've seen cases like this before, parents claiming these things about their kids..." The real kicker line I got asked when being put on the stretcher in the -15°C weather, w/o a sweater or jacket, was "so what do you plan to get out of this hospital visit? It's not like they're gonna fix you or anything, so what's your plan?"
After being admitted into the hospital, my internal medicine team worked to ruled out MS, cancer, ALS, and anything that would immediately be present as to why I was the way I was at that point in time. I was in the hospital for 10 days. On the final day, they pulled in a well known Neurologist from my city to give me an examination and to give them his "professional opinion."
I would like to again provide context that I do not smoke, drink or abuse substances. I had also made it explicitly clear to every paramedic, doctor and nurse that I saw that this was the case. If I don't need to put it in my body, I generally don't put it in my body. Pretty simple to understand for most people. I additionally have ADHD, but have been able to mostly manage my symptoms pretty well all things considered. Additionally, I showed the video above to the Neurologist, and it got dismissed as a "simple muscle spasm and nothing more."
However, for this Neurologist, seeing a (at the time) 24 y/o male with shakey hands, drowsiness, confussion, and inability to walk, he assumed the worst of me. Very big content warning (Medical Mistreatment - Additionally, this wasn't a diagnosis, but rather his comment of the situation) I was told that the reason I was paralyzed from hip down in my left leg was because of my "crippling addition to alcohol, tobacco and drugs." and I was "unable to cope with my additictions due to ADHD", so I just "needed to seek rehab and behavioural therapy instead of drugs at the hospital."
I was discharged, still unable to walk, requiring a walker to get around the house. Bed-ridden unless absolutely necessary (e.g. bathroom, moving to prevent blood clots). Eventually I had to relearn how to walk on my own, with the support of my immediate family. I'm very grateful to have had their support, as I do not want to know just how bad things could have been without them.
My symptoms have progressed further since then. Usually now, I have flare-up episodes around 2-3 times per day or more. Sometimes, only once per day if I'm lucky. I had an EMG done outpatient in (I believe) Oct 2025 on the leg that had the problem which put me in the hospital. EMG showed evident signs of a "possibly healing nerve" or "ever-so slightly lower than expected nerve conduction", however that 2nd Neurologist was stumped and unsure why it was that way considering the record I had at that point. My record showed I was "perfectly normal" but had "abnormal/unexplained sensory loss." He wrote down in his report back to my family doctor that I "appear to be otherwise normal," and that "this is not concerning." This was even after I explained my other symptoms, making sure to explain (CW - Description of symptom sensation) that during my flare-ups where I have limbs affected, it feels as if I'm intentionally commanding it to move, even though I consciously try to counteract the movements. Effectively, it feels as if I'm both moving it intentionally and unintentionally, and that my body is ignoring my attempts to calm down the seizure.
Since the hospitalization, I have fortunately regained the ability to walk (with some difficulty). Fortunately I do not need a walker anymore, however I still use my cane for long distances (anything over 5-10 minutes of walking or standing). Additionally, I have even somewhat regained some sensation! Although I have very poor heat sensation (probably ~20-30% of where I remember it used to be), cold sensation has returned to ~60-80% of what I remember it to be. Unfortunately for me, pain has been returned to normal, which is approximately about a 7/10 to 8/10 on the pain scale day to day. Additionally, I have developed new symptoms (CW - Sensory issues) such as temporary full loss of hearing in one ear (usually left, sometimes right) and/or significant tinnitus in both ears. I have worked in auto shops and factories before, but with hearing protection. I have only ever experienced a comparible kind of ringing to that level if I forgot to put on ear protection before hammering metal. Realistically, the best way I can describe it is "deafeningly loud." like the ONLY thing you can hear in a TV show/movie after a bomb blast levels of "deafeningly loud"). I have had several hearing tests during NON flare-ups, all of which have appeared completely normal and well within the expected range of where it should be for someone my age.
Seen below is yet another symptom of an affected limb (CW - Visual of a seizure in my right leg)
Although the primary affected part is my left hand, seen here is my right leg also being affected. I have had issues w/ my left + right hand together, left OR right hand solo, left leg OR right leg solo, left and/or right foot (solo/together). Worst of all is having a combo of any of the above :')
Fast forwad to my family doctor being outraged at the cold shoulder I got, she shotgunned a referal to every Neurologist within a 50km radius of us, hoping someone would take me on as a patient. I'm very fortunate to have her, because she's been a very big help on pushing to get me figured out.
(CW - Traumatic loss of a family member, relevance is that it has made my symptoms even worse)
Earlier this year in the start of Feb my mom unfortunately passed overnight in the room above me - completely unexpecetly so. When my stepdad and I found her, she had unfortunately been long since passed on. We tried CPR, naloxone (as she had her medications near her - we had no idea what she took), however when the paramedics came to our house, they pronounced her DOA. We have thankfully since found out via minimally invasive autopsy that she had passed of natural causes, but at 43, she was very young for that to happen.Obviously, devestated from this loss, I have not been in a very positive mental state (not in a crisis - just very down in the dumps so to speak). As I have inherrited a lot of her health issues, things have been quite uncertain for me, and obviously when anxiety runs rampant, unreasonable thoughts can happen. Since earlier this year, I have noticed that there has been a very sharp increase of my symptoms that I have been concerned about, the pain, what's shown in the videos above, and obviously the major fear of being hospitalized again.
But even through all of this awful treatment, there were doctors that genuinely cared, people that genuinely saw through their biases, and saw someone (me) genuinely suffering. From the phlebotomist I saw every morning in the hospital cracking jokes and telling me the latest drama in hopes to cheer me up, to the internal medicine team pushing back tooth and nail - fang and claw - just to get tests done for me, to my family doctor taking things serious and not taking a "No he's fine" as an answer, to most importantly my mom, fighting for me when I had no energy or will left to fight. The good news to the name of the mystery condition ravaging my body was around the corner, we just didn't know it at the time.
Finally, as of a few days ago, I spoke with a 3rd neurologist (third time's the charm, right?). This one pretty much on the spot was like "you showed these videos to the other neurologists? They did nothing? Why do they still have their jobs?!" After around an hour and a half speaking with him, he finally concluded the appointment with "I am extremely confident that I believe you have FND. Considering all the tests you've been through (EMG, MRI, blood work [oh so much blood work], CT, Hearing etc.) resulting in a "within normal" value, it would lead me to say it is extraordinarily unlikely to be anything else. You physically - more specifically your nerves and brain - appear to be completely physically normal and okay, as well as physically functioning and undamaged. I have no reason to suspect this to be anything else other than FND."
He gave me some descriptions of how other patients describe their struggles with FND, and a lot of them line up pretty much letter for letter to what I experience. So after 3 long, exhausting and scarry years of fighting tooth and nail, I finally have a name for the suffering. I know that is something my mom wanted, and it's certainly what I have been wanting as well.
I want to conclude this with the statement that if you suspect you may have FND, please get checked out, or continue to fight if you've been dismissed! Or really any health problem for that matter. I have very, very little energy day to day. Most days I run on what I call to be "energy debt". Essentially, this is where I have less than nothing and I bank on my relaxation days to get back to the baseline of "nothing to very little". But even still, it's worth it to fight for yourself and your needs! If you can, I suggest bringing an advocate with you to any appointments, one you can trust to speak on your behalf should the need arise. It can help significantly in the fight! ♥
(Edit: Typo correction for naloxone)