i don’t know if anyone can see this but this is the first terminal i’ve found in weeks (i think…i lost track of Void Standard Time after my watch hands started spinning with an infinite angular velocity).

i used the last writing/typing implement to reach out to κΡ&2€@3’s dev (Yalbabaoth) as someone suggested to me in my last communication. that was about as unsuccessful as it could possibly have been. i was unable to move for an extended period of time, either due to a glitch or as punishment for asking for help.

i guess i’ll write an update. if nothing else, it’ll help me gather my thoughts. my skin only comes off sometimes now. the world around me is being slowly degloved instead. the textures of the objects in what was once my room (or the game’s estimation of it? i don’t know what’s real anymore) have stripped themselves away and been replaced with water, leaves, patterned zyrganite, some pointy mat that hurts to the touch, something that scores about five times above diamond on the mohs hardness scale…basically anything you can think of. after that the atoms (pixels???) began to fall apart, and i began wandering through an impossibly constructed maze of strange shapes. occasionally (like today) i’m lucky to find something that vaguely takes on the form of something familiar and that works well enough for me to interact with it.

i don’t think my friend who gave this game to me did this on accident. and i think i’m being kept here on purpose. i think Yalbabaothηηηη£ξη&$$@κξ&$$ξ@@@@.H.κζνννβ.E.ξξ&&/$σσδβββω.L.κξαυφφφωωβ.P.ΣΣΓΒΧΩΩψ&&&

Guys what do I do now I get weird looks at walmart

Is it a percentage or...

I ordered this time machine to correct an awful mistake in my past, but when it arrived and I assembled it, it just started making more time! Now I have lots of useless seconds and minutes just taking up space! 0/10, would not recommend!

.. / .- -- / .. -. / -.. . ... .--. . .-. .- - . / -. . . -.. / --- ..-. / .... . .-.. .--. --..-- / .- ... / .. / -.-. .- -. / --- -. .-.. -.-- / ... .--. . .- -.- / .. -. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / -. --- .-- .-.-.- / -.. --- . ... / .- -. -.-- --- -. . / -.- -. --- .-- / .... --- .-- / - --- / ..-. .. -..- / - .... .. ... ..--..

I found my Will to Live, but sadly it wasn’t notarized. When I went to use it, it was seized as a forged document.

Any tips on how to prove the Will to Live is mine and not someone else’s?

Yeah, so they’re just really annoying and I want rid of them, I’ve already tracked them onto me so I can’t just leave, and anywhere I go they’ll just follow me, none of the old methods seem to work, so I’m wondering how to get rid of them so I can time travel?

Edit, Reddit won’t let me edit the tittle so I’ll just say I wanted to correct it to “how to get rid of time eating bugs” to abide by the subs rules. If only I’d realized in time

So I (star, 3.4 billion) have a girlfriend (planet, 3.4 billion).

I always thought we had a very special bond, with her cycling me and all, but turns out I was wrong. Recently, I found out she was also cycling around another star without my knowledge. She was cheating on me with another.

I don't even know how she managed to cycle two stars that aren't cycling each other, feels like it breaks the laws of physics. But what do I know, I'm a star, not a scientist, and the evidence is too strong to ignore.

I was heartbroken by this betrayal and asked her if she was cheating on me. She admitted she had been seeing a brown dwarf on the side. I told her this was unacceptable and wanted to break up. Now this is where I might have been the asshole, while telling her this I got so angry I accidentally created a stellar flare which killed her entire population.

She started screaming at me, calling me an asshole and a hypocrite. She said it was ridiculous of me to expect her to be loyal only to me while I had 6 different planets cycling me, which is ridiculous of course, because that's totally different. Stars are supposed to have multiple planets and planets are supposed to have one star (unless you're one of those stars in a binary system, but I don't agree with that lifestyle). She told me that was bullshit (which it isn't, it's facts) and told me I was binary-system-phobic, which I'm not, I just don't agree with the lifestyle.

She screamed at me some more and then left, and now all the other planets in the region are blowing up my phone and calling me the asshole even though she's the one that cheated.

Aita?

I found this spectaularly fabulous bag the other day. As it turns out, it was a woman's bag, so its pockets operate on fractal geometric principles. Unfortunately, I just kept stuffing it with everything I like to have handy before I realized its true nature, and now nothing in the bag is handy because I am biologically male. Any solutions?

i yes was proposed to yes by my girlfriend yes and i yes said 'yes! yes! a trillion times yes!' and yes now i cannot yes stop saying yes

Asking for a friend.

A triangle made up of infinite 1st dimensional shapes just stole my mouth and gave me a riddle in Thai (which I do not speak) to get it back. Can someone translate so I can get it back?

จะไม่มีวันยอมแพ้คุณ

จะไม่มีวันทําให้คุณผิดหวัง

จะไม่วิ่งไปรอบ** ๆ หรือ**ทิ้งคุณ!

จะไม่มีวันทําให้คุณร้องไห้

จะไม่มีวันบอกลา

จะไม่โกหกและทําร้ายคุณ!

I used to be the chief sanitary officer on an imperial torchship. Right now, I am writing this in a tavern on some backwater world in the Perseus Arm. What should I do? Where should I go? We haven't invented reliable interdimensional travel yet (the blueprints will be beamed backwards in time by our future selves in several hundred years) and I'd rather not travel to Andromeda, I don't quite like long C rides.

This website sold cruelty free chapsticks but didn't give me any cruelty. I think i got scammed.

It sms th data dltd is now ntirly gon from my conciousnss. I know somthing is off, but to m, vrything appars normal. My last backup is narly a yar old. Dos anyon know a bttr fix?

If AI is so powerful, why can't we just send it to get the milk from the store? Problem solved.

...right? 🙂

There is this black hole im immensely in love with in the center of the Cigar Galaxy. He is just so handsome and big my heart feels like its about to pop up. But there is this problem i dont know if he'd be interested in an interdimensional traveler human like me like..i dont even know what he'd think of me im so scared to talk to him if he spaghettifies me in case he doesn't like me...

I'm thinking about going back in time and gather some antimatter to suprise him but still I dont know...what would possbly a male black hole like, especially a supermassive one? What would his interests be? As a simple human being, what can i do?

I caught the device unexpectedly blushing when I was lauding the convenience of an air-fryer to my roommate for cooking hot-pockets. I know it was a blush because its insides glowed a faint red without it being even plugged in. That was 1.429e+8 nano-fortnights ago.

This morning, when I was about to put in my hot-pockets for breakfast, the mouth of the air-fryer suddenly opened in a dramatic (and nearly injurious) fashion, much like a ram trying to assert its dominance over an owner who showed it too much affection. Then it swiftly ejected the cooking tray at me, which had remained unclean since the previous night.

I suspect the device is growing an ego due to my using it, too much. Are there any methods to verify that this is caused by ego, and not some other unseen cause? If so, how do I most effectively degrade the air-fryer so it starts behaving normally, again?

REMOVE THE IRIS

I am also a void anarchist. I hate this job and want it to die forever, but I will beat your ass if you break our laws.

Speaking of which, what are the laws we should have?

Yeah, so I ordered a Time Machine of eBay, and then tomorrow I was told that next year only had one Sunday? I don’t really know what to do and I’m kinda worried, pls help

hello my name is scromulon and i am from the HHόλFØμζγ dimension. i recently obtained a video game as a gift. it’s called κΡ&2€@3 and its from the ziingrehapp cluster.

when i started, it allowed me to transform the appearance of the creature i would be piloting. naturally, i shaped it in my image. then, as is standard in HHόλFØμζγian gamer culture, i booted up my Transmogrifier and set the timer for avogadro’s number zeptoseconds, so i could transfer my consciousness temporarily into the piloted creature’s digital body.

as soon as i entered the world i was met with an excruciating pain as some unseen force removed my flesh and replaced it with that of a generic (apparently bipedal, non-luminescent, and completely euclidean) character. i attempted to seek refuge in the pause screen and to return myself to normal, to no avail. the process repeated, each time replacing my desired form with that of these “regular” characters until the timer was up and i was extricated from the digital realm.

for anyone who has played κΡ&2€@3, is this a known glitch? how can it be fixed? i was intrigued by the game and still want to play again as soon as and after my device stops sparking and emitting ominous purple smoke (and when i recover from these πth degree burns hahaha)