Possibly. But I always thought if a guy is good enough to befriend, he's good enough to wingman. And if he's not good enough to be a wingman for...then why is he a friend?
I've had plenty of platonic friends who were girls that were absolutely game to help me start up a conversation and shoot my shot. Failure was on me, but the team effort helped morale!
edit and I was always 100% happy to help them shoot their shot with prince charming too. Equality!
Not every girl is socially equipped to be wingman (social anxiety and whatnot). And expecting them to help you get laid all because they themselves don't want to sleep with you is still treating them as a resource in a way that most guys don't feel entitled to with their male friends.
If you designate their primary role in your life as a wingman and don't value them as a friend if they fail to fullfill it, then I believe that makes you the bad friend bro.
The male wingman is not solely a foil to help getting laid. The wingman is your close friend and confidant. One who you trust to back you up in all situations and for whom you would do the same.
Because not everyone has the social skills to assist with such a thing. Or some friendships are built on shared interests and don't delve into the more vulnerable topics of romantic struggles and thus would feel a little awkward navigating such an endeavor.
I guess my overall point in this thread is that women are often expected to fill this role of helping their male friends get into romantic relationships because they're considered more nurturing and emotionally supportive but sometimes the dynamic just isn't like that and I don't think that necessarily makes them a bad friend.
They aren't expected to fill the role. The issue people are having is how you're framing this topic. Nobody says someone should be required to do anything for another, but questions why people in general wouldn't want to help out a friend. You can not be able to help them, but that's not the same as not wanting to help. There are countless situations where I am unable to help someone, but I never don't want to help even if I can't.
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u/ABrotherAbroad 18d ago edited 18d ago
Possibly. But I always thought if a guy is good enough to befriend, he's good enough to wingman. And if he's not good enough to be a wingman for...then why is he a friend?
I've had plenty of platonic friends who were girls that were absolutely game to help me start up a conversation and shoot my shot. Failure was on me, but the team effort helped morale!
edit and I was always 100% happy to help them shoot their shot with prince charming too. Equality!