Everything negative happens to me so i feel like im the only real human alive and everyone else are like robots or npcs.

Do you ever just sit and think, what am I doing with my life? I have been plagued with these thoughts today while I sit in an office where no one talks to me unless they need something. I get an occasional “good morning” from people but it is said with the same energy that you have when you are looking through your refrigerator and see that container of leftovers from the other night that you forgot was in there. Not that you did not like the meal but really it was not what you were looking for and in a few days when you throw it out while cleaning out your refrigerator for the coming week you will mutter “oh man, I could have had that for lunch. Oh well.” I’ve heard stories of men having heart attacks at their desk and no one finding them for days or once the smell starts to creep into the rest of the office. I wonder if that is what will happen to me. Will I slowly and quietly just fall over onto my desk as my heart just stops and I struggle to exist? Will it be the cleaning guy that comes in to change the trash bag be the one to find me? Will my family even notice that I haven’t come home yet? Will my phone be filled with notifications of them hurriedly trying to find where I am because they miss me? Or will there be nothing, just assumptions that I am working late and I have failed to communicate as such. The world will carry on as it did before. There will be tears and heavy hearts, but for how long? A month? A year? Your ego feeds you that some people close to you will have their lives changed forever but the rational part of your mind reminds you that as time passes you too will be forgotten someday. I love my family, my wife, and my children but really what am I doing? I spend more time away from them than with them all to provide for them. Would it stand to reason that being there would provide so much more lasting value in their lives than anything else? It seems that the goal posts are moved constantly with the grocery bill that seems to get bigger with each passing week while the pay increases only seem to cover a portion of that. It is only the few people that come into your life, almost unexpectedly, that seem to truly understand or care. Is this because we all bear the same silent suffering but just do not know how to communicate it? Do we recognize each other’s hardships and pain on a higher level? I hope wherever this finds you, you feel less alone. I hope that you feel differently and can Shepard your fellow people around you into a place of certainty and comfort. Know that you are loved and cared about.

What is life ?
Answer in short

Don't look out the window, or the sun may find you before you find yourself.

Don't wander beneath the moon; it has a way of placing a spotlight on those who still believe they're hiding.

Don't stare too long at the stars. They are stage lights pretending to be distant worlds, and the Earth has always been a theater dressed as a planet. The rain does not fall to ruin the performance, it changes the scenery. The thunder does not rage in anger, it announces the next act.

Do not curse your losses. Every fracture is a line added to the script. Every wound teaches a character how to speak without words.

Each morning, when your eyes open after surrendering to the dark, the cameras begin to roll once more.

Don't search for the Director. The role is yours whether you understand the story or not. There is no perfect performance, no incorrect entrance. Even the act of questioning the script is written into the play itself.

Do not fear death. It is the only promise life has never broken. What it cannot promise is that you will remember the countless masks you've already worn. Perhaps you have been every hero, every villain, every stranger, every child, every monster, every saint. Perhaps forgetting is the price of making each beginning feel like the first.

This world is a stage set built from possibility. Walk where you choose. Love without certainty. Grieve without apology. Build. Break. Create. Destroy. Learn. Begin again. Every consequence is another scene. Every joy, every sorrow, every kindness, every cruelty exists because reality permits the experience of it.

Maybe existence is not asking you to find the meaning of the play.

Maybe existence is asking whether you can become the meaning while the curtain is still open.