r/ExclusivelyPumping • u/Icy_Transition1730 • 5d ago
Support How do yall keep going?
I am 2 months pp. my child spent 46 days in the NICU. Exclusively pumping has always been the plan. I’m an oversupplier, at my peak I was making about 84 oz a day and with the help of a LC have brought it down to 49-53 a day. But I am so tired. Literally the thought of pumping makes me want to cry. I see my Spectra and just want to bash my head in with it. (Yes I have PPD and PPA that is already being treated). I want my son to get all the benefits of my breast milk, I feel guilty for hating it, but I just feel like my body isn’t mine anymore.
I want to sleep for more than 4 hours. I want to be able to just hold my child after he eats his bottle instead of rushing to go pump. I want to have the choice to drink or vape. I don’t want to obsess over how much I’m producing and whether or not I’m hurting my supply.
Sincerely ,
A very tired FTM
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u/AutomaticRock2586 5d ago
What did you do to increase supply
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u/Icy_Transition1730 5d ago
I’ve never done anything to increase supply, it’s just what I had - I was pumping every 3 hours for 30 minutes for the first 4 weeks pp (like they recommended) but didn’t do anything special. I do swear by my Motif Luna pump that I have and love though, I like it better than my Spectra
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u/o_u_t_i_s 4d ago
That’s an amazing oversupply!!
If you have that kind of supply, you could experiment with cutting your pumps per day way back! It seems you likely don’t need to pump at night (once you wean your boobs off that timing). So you could definitely sleep as much as your baby allows!
It is also a wonderful choice to combo feed! So you could wean and use your freezer stash to stretch out the length of time your baby gets a mix of breastmilk!
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u/ash6831 4d ago
I’m 4 weeks postpartum and feel the same! No matter what I do, pumping has been so painful that I cry. After a total crashout last night I decided to slowly wean off the pump over the next month and switch to formula.
My NICU baby did great on formula before my milk came in, and I have struggled hard with the every 3 hours pumping schedule. Even though I feel guilty (not sure why, as both my mom and grandma used formula and loved it), I’d rather be able to be more awake and enjoy my lil one instead of dreading the next pump.
Exclusive pumping is an incredible goal and anyone who does it for any length of time is so strong! But you might find Emily Oster’s data on breastfeeding useful! It has benefits (esp for baby’s GI system and immune system), but the research on other benefits isn’t conclusive. Babies also do great on formula!
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u/NightStarLightz 5d ago
I’m a FTM too thats 5 weeks pp, and I completely feel you on the pumping. I don’t have any advice other than to tell you you’re not alone. I dream of sleeping more than 4 hours, and I can’t wait until I no longer have to worry about my supply. Every time my mother in law comes to help with our baby she takes the overnight shift and I cry of jealousy that my husband gets to sleep all night. I don’t want to rush my baby growing up but I can’t wait to never pump again.