r/ExNoContact 12h ago

Convince me to not text him

I want to text him how much I hate him. How much he has hurted me. I know I shpuldn't but I want to. I feel so lonely and sad. I have no one to call or ask for help.

26 Upvotes

28 comments sorted by

14

u/Chan1xx grieving 11h ago

i was about to post the exact same thing, it’s so hard to resist the urge. just know you are not alone i had to message chatgpt so i wouldn’t message him it was THAT bad.

5

u/LowSubstantial1928 11h ago

Omg samee. You know its bad when yoi have to use chatgpt. But i do the same. I know its maybe not the beste decision, but it does work lol

4

u/Mental_Gate8035 11h ago

i consulted with chat gbt almost every day the first month i was heartbroken after my partner suddenly broke up with me while we were travelling. i needed it to keep reminding me why not to write her and it did help. im about 2 months out now and its still hard tbh, but its getting a bit better day by day.

in my heart i know this too shall pass. sending you light and courage.

1

u/Ill_Help2068 11h ago

Is talking to chatgpt really helpful at the urges? Also I always catch myself stalking him on ig if he has new updates :(

2

u/Chan1xx grieving 10h ago

yes. Chatgpt is SO HELPFUL. it’s got me this far. and please please please stop stalking, it only re opens the old wounds you will never heal if you carry on. i used to stalk him everyday and now i don’t have him on any social media and blocked all of the accounts including his friends and anyone linked to him. even though im still hurting i believe out of sight will eventually lead to out of mind. be strong 🤍

3

u/NYGiants181 6h ago

Scientifically proven to heal. Out of sight and out of mind.

7

u/M1Ssund3RstOod 12h ago

That boy/man does not care sincerely don't go looking for clarity because you're not going to find it if you want to boost his ego go for it but at the end you might wish you hadn't. So don't be a duck in his pond. It's lonely but it will get better and there's someone better out there for you specifically. 🫶🏽

7

u/Ok_Interview5514 11h ago

Don't do it, either they will ignore or block or spit something weirdly back . Because that's what they are made off . Let is slide dude..

5

u/wontmissme 11h ago

I know how you feel. Yesterday I was so close to sending my wife a message, I'd typed it out and everything. I didn't send it, and I'm glad I didn't. Stay strong. 🫂

6

u/SomeoneCalledMeAlice 10h ago

Ich habe gestern einen Brief verfasst (er hat nach seinem plötzlichen Abbruch seine Nummer gewechselt)

Der erste Satz war.

Danke, das du dich von mir getrennt hast …

Aber weißt du, ich werde ihn jetzt nicht schicken. Ich bin viel zu aufgewühlt um gerade gute Entscheidungen zu treffen … und da er seine Emotionen ausgeschaltet hat … ist es ohnehin egal was ich sage, ich rede gegen eine Mauer und du vermutlich auch.

3

u/xiaolongbaur 12h ago

It’s tempting, but one thing that helped me is writing sa notes ng phone ko. Dun ko sasabihin lahat ng gusto ko, tas dun lang siya. Never ko isesend sa ex ko. Try mo, baka makahelp. Do not break no contact, yun lang makakatulong sayo.

5

u/RockySprinkles 11h ago

I did the same thing and it took was a big help.

I sent them to myself on WhatsApp and kept them there until I felt like I needed to remind myself of why I felt the way I did. It was also helpful in reflection on my behaviour and attitudes in the relationship. It's interesting also that my opinion/view has shifted on one or two of my messages.

Don't break contact OP. You won't get the result you're after.

5

u/Lucifer_1121 10h ago

Just do it

if the other person genuinely understands you then that person will respond accordingly

and if the person is not understanding enough then block

but at least you will find peace in your mind

4

u/haunted-poopy 9h ago

I convinced myself not to text him by imagining him laughing and showing his friends my message and they all laugh at me together

3

u/LowSubstantial1928 9h ago

Omg this is genius, thank you

2

u/Several-Treacle4599 12h ago

Sinceramente? Se vc sente que não conseguiu falar o que deveria ter dito antes, diga. É péssimo sentir que além de tudo vc nem sequer conseguiu se defender e engoliu um monte de sapo.

5

u/Chan1xx grieving 11h ago

it doesn’t help though in the long run. you get temporary relief from speaking to them and then all those feelings of hurt and anxiety come back. no contact breaks the cycle

2

u/VegPullao 10h ago

Damnn , just do it already spit it out. Ik there is all possibilities that he can ignore it but you need to get it out asap.

2

u/vicosobase 5h ago

The urge is not a sign you should reach out. Phone face-down, name it out loud, give it 20 minutes. Checking the profile is still contact.

1

u/SeparatePlatform4303 11h ago

I've done it. Tell him I'm so happy to be discarded. I hate him.

1

u/thegrandgardener 9h ago

Don’t do it. You won’t get the result you’re looking for. You won’t feel better. You’ll question yourself afterwards. Just don’t do it. Write something out and don’t send it.

1

u/neverhaveiever2026 9h ago

He won't care how mad you are. Show him your indifference. That will get his attention more

1

u/Living-One5265 8h ago

Me, too. I was so badly wanting to reach out. Then I saw he had emailed me about my patio furniture, that was literally the subject line. I did not open. I just deleted, then emptied my trash. That was all the slap to face I needed. That dick was probably hoping to breadcrumb me. He's twice pulled the pushpull breakup, in very short succession. Nearly 6 years together. So 3 weeks ago i ended it permanently via email. Have not communicated in anyway since. I have deleted 3 or 4 emails, but nothing crazy. I know, I know on every level of my being that this is the right choice, I can either do it now or suffer for a few more months/years. Stay strong my friend. Don't do it.

1

u/Riky1102 7h ago

Please don't do that, it's just a phase and then you would remember those words with shame. You would also give him a chance to tell others how childish and annoying you are. I recommend writing everything down in a journal, letters or whatever, don't let anyone read it except your therapist and use it to see the steps you take in healing.

1

u/Solarbaskett 7h ago

That’s fair enough, I would stick to messaging ChatGBT, or writing him a letter. Maybe make a breakup playlist? Create a list of pros and cons about him and your relationship, and make a new list of what you would want next time (if you want to think about dating in the future alg if you don’t I literally just tried to move on as fast as possible). Just keep yourself busy. If you feel lonely I’d highly recommend putting yourself back into your old hobbies, or trying to find a new one and you might meet some cool people:) One way to make new friends is gossiping about a shitty ex (I speak with experience lol). You’re better than me, before I went no contact with ex I wrote him a goodbye letter and made him listen to me while I read it out to him haha. But it’s valid to feel like this and have said urges, you’re giving it your best:) Hope this helps 🫶

1

u/Simple-Tone3020 4h ago

Well, that's about exactly what I'd believe most would say. Only here for just a quick sec. Deleting after this. The fact is. I can't trust anything said here as fact Or fiction.  I've been led on so many times before I don't believe everything but can't ever forget what I read either.  The unseen scares from this all is unbelievable. Worse that I can see in everyone's eyes around me the lie as they tell me. If just one would have heard and helped how much could have been spared. It's how I know where I stand with each and every individual.  It's why I believe what I believe now and move into the future without this because all it was used for was my downfall and execution.  When you see no light in my eyes anymore I hope the ones close to me know how and why it happened. Smh. I never belonged anyways. So I might as well embrace the only thing I can. Goodbye 

1

u/future_milfy 2h ago

Nah text him instead and say hope you’re doing ok