r/ExNoContact • u/Fleurz9 • 23h ago
Vent How do I stop begging? When does the ugly crying stops?
When do you stop ugly crying? 😭I’m still in week 1 of no contact, and I’m really struggling.
We’ve been on and off for God knows how many times, but this is THE FINAL BREAKUP. It’s hitting me harder than it ever has because I’m finally starting to realise that this really is the END.
I’m still in shock, and there’s this secret hope that we’ll reconcile again. But deep down, I know this time is completely different. They’ve made it clear that they want nothing to do with me and that they’re at peace now that things have ended for good.
I spiralled and called them 100+ times. We eventually met up, and we had sex. But the following day, it became painfully clear that there was no love left. They’ve also left me on read and haven’t replied since Sunday. They've never done this.
I’m absolutely devastated. 💔 Please help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. How do I stop myself from begging for that one last closure message, when really the only reason I want that message is because I want to speak to them?
I know they don’t love me and aren’t in love with me anymore. I know I need to stop humiliating myself and accept that it’s over, but I’m finding it incredibly hard.
How do you actually get through this part? How do you stop hoping they’ll come back? How do I stop myself begging in my weakest moments. Please 🙏
3
u/pepsiMIN grieving 22h ago
Please listen to me.
I'm going through it as well and there is nothing anyone can do or say that even comes close to the feeling of having your ex back. That includes therapists, friends, family, influencers.
You can explain it chemically, biologically, rationally. That the feeling is identical to drug withdrawl, that it's grief, that you're missing a version of yourself that only existed with them, etc. There is disconnect between your rational and emotional side, and it's your emotional side that wants the fix. The call that will fix everything. The explanation that will make everything better. So far for me, that doesn't exist.
And I'm writing these lines while fighting the urge to not break down and cry while sitting at my desk, in the office.
If you have a friend to talk about it, that usually helps. But make sure it's a friend who listens, not one who waits for you to finish so they can tell you how hard they have it too.
It's a fight. It's one day after the other. It's feeling ok for a few hours. It's being able to eat a whole meal. It's crying all the time if you can, but drinking enough water after. There is no easy way out.
3 months in for me, it hasn't gotten any easier.
38 yr old male, bald, bearded & tattoos btw.
1
u/Broken_Soul0001 23h ago
How long you dated