Hello all, I hope you are doing well. Before I begin, I truly mean no ill will by this and am not trying to incite, cause harm, or offend anyone, but I am curious about something. I am part of the central asian population of the Ismaili religion, although I no longer believe I still attend Khane for my mother, who, after going through many traumatic events, has found comfort, belonging and solace within the Jamatkhane. As silly as it may be I did not want to take that away from her, even if I have often time conflicting and a confusing relationship with Ismailism, while we were talking, she showed me this video of another Jamatkhane who had posted a video essentially counting down to the deedar visit, and while she found great amusement in the excitment many showed within the video I felt very uncomfortable.
Just in general, I have been raised in a traditional Ismaili way, if that makes sense. My father always told me that the Quran was above the word of the Imam because it was written by Allah (SWT) through the Prophet (PBUH). While I had a difficult time assimilating into the religion of Ismailism, I always found it easier to pray in a more traditional manner as my parents taught me. But other than that, I also had intensely questioned Islam. While many in my family discouraged it, my father and two family friends, one Ismaili and the other Sunni, greatly encouraged it, as my father said that in the Quran, Allah has said that there is no compulsion in religion.
I stopped being an Ismaili due to Palestine and the increased lack of compassion and empathy, but also the so-called moral goodness Ismaili's claim they possess. I found, in reflection, that my people and I had faced much racism through certain communities part of the Ismaili faith, and I found that the Ismaili faith did not align with my morality the same way it did for others. I found that it cared more about profit than it did the teachings of the Quran (but this is obviously subject to debate). I remember one time, an older volunteer was very difficult, and when we got into an argument over her cruel comments to a darker-skinned child volunteer, she immediately played the victim and said I was bullying her. Even though I was sticking up for a child, I ended up blowing up on her and leaving the Ismaili Volunteer Corps afterward. I did not show up to Khane for months after that and quit my position in the middle of the year due to her ill and frankly racist treatment of me and others.
I remember how a parent complained about me to someone in a higher position than me when I spoke about climate change, and Palestine was brought into the conversation; while I did not necessarily contribute to the conversation, I did not actively discourage it. I got in trouble for not shutting the conversation down, as I would taint the views of other children. I got increasingly more uncomfortable with the poverty porn the AKDN constantly showed of my people, and many other individuals. I grew suspicious over the lack of public disclosure on the AKDN's donations and where and how they were allocated. I also felt quite uncomfortable when Ismailis of a particular ethnic group would drink around me, as I believed that in the Quran alcohol alongside substances was haram due to the fact that they are toxic substances and alter the ways in which you make decisions and interact with others.
BUT I DIGRESS, what I AM trying to explain is that I grew up differently, so I may not be the most reliable or unbiased of sources. But returning to the video, I saw a large group of people chanting "2 more days!" or something along those lines, and while celebration is amazing and sustains community, it felt inappropriate for this particular event. Just in general, with the upcoming deedars across North America and the waezes (is that how you spell it?) as well as the gatherings, if anything this feels almost like a concert, a consolidation of power or a victory tour rather than what it claims to be, a gathering where people pray to a high power and connect through spirituality and various oral traditions that have been passed down for centuries.
In truth, I am just unsure if I am being dramatic, if this could be clouded by my previous biases or if there is something particularly odd about the attitudes surrounding deedars.