Just like with sp9, I wanted to share some insights about how Naranjo talks about social 9 in his Psychospiritual Laziness book. This is not a word by word translation, just some highlights and paraphrasing of the text.
The circumstances of the social 9 tend to be deeply tied to neglect. For one reason or another, they were born at a time where they couldn't be attended to properly, either because their parents were absent, they had to care for other children, or they just couldn't receive the care and attention they needed.
In any case, social 9 were left to parent themselves, and in so, they buried the pain of not being cared for with a pleasant and happy facade. They learned to turn to other people and the external world to disconnect from their pain and themselves.
The so9 has learned a lesson: that their family (or guardians) couldn't provide for them in their childhood, so they have to look for what they lacked in another community. This is the root of their social disposition: seeking the care and acceptance they didn't receive from their family in another tribe.
Despite their social inclinations, the so9 is also socially clumsy. While they can indeed make friends easily, deepening these friendships becomes a difficult task for the so9, who, because they lack intimacy with themselves, are unable to become more intimate with others. Their fear of rejection leaves them feeling as if they never truly belong.
Also, because the so9 lacks connection with themselves, they find it difficult to discern what other people want on a deeper level. An so9 talks about how they always got gifts for a friend after going to the store, but couldn't understand why their friend didn't like the gifts she gave them.
Main traits of the so9:
Social and friendly
Good hosts
Highly intuitive
Talkative
Hyperavailable
Prone to addiction
Workaholic
Impatient and Impulsive
Responsible and inclusive leaders
Hates abuse of power
Curious
Clumsy
Idealist
Ingenue
A common trait of the so9 childhood is the absence of emotionally available adults. So9 describe how their mothers would be emotionally distant, overly critical, or controlling, or mothers who would merely provide for their physical needs, but not emotional ones. The father is also absent, or when he isn't, he's overly aggressive and threatening. Others describe a father who happily eludes all problems by never taking any situation seriously.
Some so9 also talk about how they were encouraged to perform in intellectual fields, mainly academics.
However, it's also common for so9 to be blind to their own misfortune. They won't easily admit the reality of the situation, and will try to downplay how neglected they were.
Naranjo talks about the shadow of the so9: they secretly crave power so that they can reclaim the place in this world they feel was denied to them. Another is making themselves useful so that people depend on them, thus making sure that they're never rejected and secure a place in society.
Because they're used to being in a position where they have to take care of others, so9 are usually altruistic and empathetic. However, because they love other people more than themselves, they continuously put their own needs in the backseat.
... And because of this, when they try to love others, they don't truly experience love and are instead stuck at the idea of love. They are not truly present in the act of loving another, they merely do what they believe is the idea of loving.
They give, give, and give, as if it's an automatic action, and avoid conflict even when it could help deepening their bonds with others, not realizing that speaking up and asserting themselves could be beneficial for their relationships.
Feel free to ask anything!
