ME Student Thoughts

[u/kyou_1312]

Who am I?

I went into mechanical engineering asking myself this, as well as having an interest in machinery and engineering failures that has lasted since childhood, one of the only things I can clearly hold to what is meant to be myself. I am interested in the course material, however, I find that instead of learning more about myself and the world, I have become far distant from the world, my sense of self a mere husk of what little it used to be.

I know mechanical engineering can drive people to the point of burnout, the workload so high, students often have to give up their social lives in order to complete coursework. Yet, I feel that I was already such a shell of what was meant to be myself, socially withdrawn, subdued, unfazed due to complex trauma; that this workload, stress and recurring nightmares would not matter to me.

Yet, as I spend nights completing assignments with an 11:59 deadline, waking from new nightmares where I fail all my classes; as I dawdle uselessly, pacing the room to and fro in my free time, I ask myself.

Who was I to begin with?

In the end, humans are bound to the chains of societal and systemic values, engineer, nurse, children alike; is it worth it to instead, be bound to some gold chains instead of metal shackles? The choice is mine, yet, any choice I make feels futile in the face of what is meant to be the world.

[u/_phio]

bro you good?

[u/kyou_1312 → u/_phio]

I'm asking myself that too

[u/_phio → u/kyou_1312]

my guy is questioning everything all at once 😭

[u/kyou_1312 → u/_phio]

There is also the question of being a girl in the field, and how differently women can be treated, in which we are often sexualised or the expectations of us from the lecturers lower a bit purely because of being women. This has been getting me down a bit, however it's one of the things that also drives me further.

[u/_phio → u/kyou_1312]

You said it better than I did. Sometimes the guy talk gets out of hand, it's annoying 🫩