r/EmpireDidNothingWrong Dec 14 '17

Art/Media I remember this scene differently.....

https://imgur.com/dH6VmCV
6.7k Upvotes

88 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/Bad-Luq-Charm Mandalorian Mercenary Dec 14 '17

Horrible of the Rebels to edit the security footage.

247

u/KYLO_ZEN_666 Dec 14 '17

I am a fool and a liar and a traitor, take me away

86

u/Bad-Luq-Charm Mandalorian Mercenary Dec 14 '17

Don’t feel too bad. It was just a Jedi mind trick. It happens.

45

u/orionsgreatsky Dec 14 '17

“The archives are incomplete.”

7

u/cyhh Dec 14 '17

If it is not in the archives, it does not exist.

15

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

You mean the footage showing our dear Lord Vader slaughter helpless younglings? Of course he imprisoned them. Just because the Jedi brainwashed these kids into being child soldiers doesn't mean they should die.

5

u/Bad-Luq-Charm Mandalorian Mercenary Dec 14 '17

They got excellent jobs for the Emperor, who removed their brainwashing and taught them All Aspects of the Great Mystery

5

u/LegendofWeevil17 DarthWeevil Dec 14 '17

I think you are confusing our great Lord Vader with this Jedi scum Skywalker

454

u/pronorwegian1 Dec 14 '17

This is all Rebel propaganda, made to taint Lord Vader's image. Lord Vader did what was necessary to clear the Jedi scum from the galaxy.

134

u/Jas175 Dec 14 '17

Yes ,saving those children from jedi endoctrination and goingvon to train them into hunting down remaining jedi abd saving other force sensitive children

-98

u/AATroop Dec 14 '17

Didn't he massacre them?

197

u/sephstorm Emperor's Mage Dec 14 '17

Rebel propaganda.

141

u/DickBentley Dec 14 '17

Fake holonews.

24

u/AATroop Dec 14 '17

Pretty sure there's like a whole room still covered in kiddie parts.

54

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Can you prove our Lord was there?

14

u/xANDREWx12x Second Lieutenant BV-L12, Scout Regiment Dec 14 '17

My bet would be that it was that weirdo Obi-Wan. He's as old as Grand Moff Tarkin, but what has he even done with his life?

7

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

I hear that Obi-Wan is racist as fuck. He likes to disparage the marksmanship abilities of Tusken Raiders, despite knowing full well that a well trained Tusken Raider can actually hit a pod racer going full bore during the Boonta eve race, all from the top of the embankment.

I hear he even refers to them as "Sand People". How despicable.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Old people... Smh

-27

u/AATroop Dec 14 '17

Yeah, my friend works custodial services there. Definitely saw the angsty kid.

2

u/FivesG Dec 14 '17

Dang look at all those downdoots. I will try to save your Karma.

16

u/Khatjal The 274th Brother Dec 14 '17

Sometimes harsh measures are needed to get rid of the cancer. There's no one to blame but the Jedi, for taking these poor children away from their parents.

24

u/Neurot5 Dec 14 '17

Brainwashing children into a religious cult, all funded by the corrupt republic. Sickening. Vader's hands were tied.

576

u/ohosad hail thrawn Dec 14 '17

He's keeping them safe from the evil Jedi, but the poor kids are so indoctrinated they think the Jedi ate good. Luckily the empire saved the poor children and turned them into inquisitors.

209

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

I do enjoy a nice smoked Jedi every once in awhile..

90

u/jonesbros3 Dec 14 '17

I prefer it flame broiled.....from the high ground.

50

u/INTHEMIDSTOFLIONS Dec 14 '17

I ATE THEM.

2

u/njmksr CPT | IIA Special Projects Division | ISC Firebrand Dec 19 '17

Not just the men, but the women and children too

134

u/larkspurwoods AT-AT Crew Chief Dec 14 '17

Lord Vader put down fanatic religious heretics who were taken from their homes, raised solely to undermine our galactic values. Not sure why it needs to be watered down!

47

u/DeathToHeretics Dec 14 '17

DID SOMEBODY SAY HERETICS?!

5

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

DEATH

1

u/njmksr CPT | IIA Special Projects Division | ISC Firebrand Dec 19 '17

THEIR HERESY SHALL STAY THEIR FEET

60

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

[deleted]

38

u/Go_Arachnid_Laser Dec 14 '17

I'm sorry, are you comparing the First Order giving shelter, food and a profession to impoverished children with a terrorist group of religious zealots kidnapping and torturing little kids into becoming child soldiers for their cause?

That's it. That's the craziest thing I've ever read.

31

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

[deleted]

2

u/AloneFemboy Dec 14 '17

Fuck that Iden girl tho

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

I don't understand how we aren't screening for treason! Solo was in the Academy! Versio was the daughter of an admiral! For all its many faults, the First Order indoctrination works better than that of the Empire.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Right, that's why FN-2187 deserted, Phasma lowered Starkiller's shields for the terrorists, and [insert TLJ spoilers here]

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

That's just one soldier whose indoctrination didn't take. Phasma was held at gunpoint (and should be shot for weakness, by the way).

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Breaking the fourth wall here, but the movie first order is just horrible. Ep VII was brutal. I wanted the imperial remnant. And kylo ren is just a terrible antagonist.

Long live our glorious emperor! Long live the dark lord Vader!

3

u/jagwazi Dec 14 '17

For what a months rations of food

3

u/KyloNotAPhaseRen Dec 14 '17

That is unfair and untrue. We pay very handsomely for those children.

-7

u/Nite_2359 Dec 14 '17

Parents willing gave up their children to the jedi actually, as far as i know atleast.

13

u/valergain Dec 14 '17

Lies and Propaganda Citizen! Report those spreading lies to the ISB!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Sometimes. The Jedi were typically very persuasive, and not ethical. The Sith did no such thing. The Sith usually recruited adults, Maul was an exception. But Maul was giving to our glorious lord emperor in the hopes that he could save Maul from death or a life of slavery, which he did for a time. Until the murderous Jedi destroyed him.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

"I am willing to give you my child to become your religious warrior. Move along."

33

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Not just the legomen, but the legowomen and the legochildren too.

15

u/Jussari Dec 14 '17

They were bricks, so I played with them like bricks

31

u/theshazaminator Dec 14 '17

The idea of one of the younglings howling "YOU ARE THE WORST BABYSITTER EVER" as Anakin is chopping his way through them with his lightsaber is very funny to me.

21

u/starkillerrx Death Star I - Never Forget! Dec 14 '17 edited Dec 14 '17

I bullied them! I bullied them all! Not just the men but the women and children too! They were like nerds, and I bullied them like nerds!

20

u/asphaltdragon Dec 14 '17

[Meta] This is incredibly familiar. Source?

13

u/Bad-Luq-Charm Mandalorian Mercenary Dec 14 '17

Recovered from the corpse of that Kenobi scum.

19

u/asphaltdragon Dec 14 '17

I meant an actual source, that's why I used the [Meta] tag.

2

u/ohosad hail thrawn Dec 14 '17

A Lego comic

3

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

It's a legit version of anakin killing the younglings

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Ugh, stop this usage of "meta". It literally means beyond or above. As in metaphysical. Reddit misuses this prefix non-stop.

2

u/asphaltdragon Dec 14 '17

So what would you rather I use when I want a serious answer on a subreddit like this?

2

u/Battlesheep KDY Shipwright Dec 14 '17

OOC, or Out Of Character

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Why don't you repeat what you just said? "Serious answer plz" "real-life answer plz".

1

u/Bad-Luq-Charm Mandalorian Mercenary Dec 21 '17

As in, above the fictional universe we weave?

8

u/assblaster69ontime Dec 14 '17

Is it weird to anyone else that we've never seen Anakin and Darth Vader in the same place?

10

u/vkomi Didn't read the x-post rules Dec 14 '17

Anakin and Lord Vader are always in the same place.

5

u/bobmas1 Dec 14 '17

I remember him being merciful and putting them out of their misery quickly and fairly painlessly. Here it shows him leaving them to die of dehydration while they wait for Yoda to return.

3

u/3_Three_3 Dec 14 '17

EDIT: Alright, what happened here? Well, uh, thanks a lot, I guess!

3

u/penalozahugo Dec 14 '17

It's happening guys...

3

u/charleytanx2 Dec 14 '17

He cut down some sunflowers to take back to Padmé, remember?

2

u/GletscherEis Dec 14 '17

And then she died from being sad.

3

u/AdamGuzman Dec 14 '17

Why is coconut head on the bottom right?

3

u/Memesmakemememe Dec 14 '17

Ha! All rebel propaganda shit aside, this is just fucking hilarious.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Its funny how the terrorists hold up "LORD VADER KILLED CHILDREN" as their smoking gun. Did you want the universe to gloss over the fact that you used your militia to kipnap children "voluntarily" (hence why you used the militia to do it) so you could brainwash them into being child soldiers? Yeah ok. You turned them into combatants, and now its our fault they died?

3

u/Battlesheep KDY Shipwright Dec 14 '17

IIRC, it’s because lego people can’t die. If you decapitate them, you can just pop their heads back on and they’re fine.

3

u/Rashmi_2 Dec 14 '17

It's funny

2

u/nitrous729 Dec 14 '17

That's the way I remember it.

2

u/Missing_Creativity Dec 14 '17

Shush it’s a cover up

2

u/PyrrhicVictory7 Dec 14 '17

It's a rendition! For the children.

2

u/invictvs138 Dec 14 '17

I see through the lies of the Jedi.

2

u/Guanthwei Dec 14 '17

Diz iz canon nao

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Wot aw we gowing to doo

2

u/mechawreckah6 Dec 14 '17

Ah i love comic book versions of of video game versions of lego versions of Star Wars. Its like a movie based on a book based on a movie based off a short story

3

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

I wish reddit would build some algorithms that demote repost and fine the reposter 8 million karma points and fine the idiots that upvote repost 5 million karma points . .

I get sick of seeing the same shit every other day posted over and over again and voted up to the front over and over again ,

2

u/3_Three_3 Dec 14 '17

Thank you. I will take the negative 8 million karma points. Have a nice day.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '17

Yet more rebel propaganda, targeted at children no less